Korean Job Discussion Forums

coffeeman · Joined: 24 Nov 2005 Location: Korea

I swear I think it's a felony in this country if you are female, 28 years old and not married or male 32 years old and not married. Almost everybody here takes the plunge. But are they happy? How important in love?

In the past year, I've seen 3 twenty-somethings (2 ladies and 1 guy) get married. None of them seemed to be too thrilled about it. They reported it to me without any joy as if it were right up there on the excitement meter with applying for a new passport. What's the deal? I sure hope if I go down that road that I am a little more excited about it than they are. Koreans are strange. Emotional about all the wrong things and totally blase when they should be thrilled.

I get the feeling that most of them do it to please their parents. What are your opinions about Korean couples?

SeoulFinn · Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Location: 1h from Seoul

I'd say that more and more of the marriages between young people are based on love. And the same might go with those a bit older couples who are getting married for the 2nd time (ie. divorced people.)

In the past marriages were arranged unions between families. At that time love was not necessary for someone to get married. But it was widely believed that love would come to the picture later.

I think that there are many couples, young and old, who get married because it's something that is expected from them: finish your studies, get a job, get married and continue the family line. As far as I know, in Korean society you're not really considered as an adult if you're not married. This is the expression I got after spending over two years in the country. I might be wrong, though.

itaewonguy · Joined: 25 Mar 2003

well I think Koreans are traditionalists. I mean what else are they going to do with their lives? move to ASIA and teach English?

Marriage is something most people from deep cultural backgrounds do..
remember the WEST doesnt really have a culture! well they use to have strong values! but slowly every year its heading into the toilet!

go to school , graduated university, get a job, get married! have children!

thats life!!
a few will venture off and do something else! but at the end of the day Id say about 90% of the world will get married at least once!!

koreans happy with marrage? some are.. others still hold on to fantasy!
but they slowly accept destiny!
and I think thats what makes them unhappy at times.. well all humans!

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

It is 'destany' that you will never learn to spell, but like most other things, I have come to accept these things.

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

Sorry. Must not bust on Itaewonguy. Spelling is over-rated anyway.

bellum99 · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: don't need to know

Marrying for love sure hasn't improved anything. Families are broken and society has little structure. I think the western way of marriage has failed.
Maybe the old Korean way of marriage is best. Divorce should be illegal (except under serious conditions) and everyone should be matched with a spouse by their mothers. Then we have to outcast anyone who doesn't try to make their marriage work.
Sounds crazy but maybe it will work....

laogaiguk · Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Location: somewhere in Korea

kermo · Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject:

I've been pretty disillusioned by what I've heard from my married Korean friends. The women always seem to be pissed off about something and the men wouldn't know romance if it painted itself blue, danced naked on a piano and sang "Romantic Days are Here Again."

Sample conversation with a co-worker:
Me: So, what are you doing for your wife for your anniversary?
Him: Nothing.
Me: Nothing? Not roses? When was the last time you got her flowers?
Him: Er... not since before we were married. Anyway, she takes my salary now.
Me: Well, you could take those man-won bills and fold them into flower shapes..? Huh? How about that?

Another student gave a speech last night about his wife of 30 years that brought me to tears. It was about how much he appreciated her. I shared this with a male co-worker who knows this old gentleman quite well. He said "Oh, that's not the story I get. They're practically divorced. He quietly has a thing for the young girls, you know."

Crying or Very sad

coffeeman · Joined: 24 Nov 2005 Location: Korea

cdninkorea · Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul

Wangja · Joined: 17 May 2004 Location: Seoul, Yongsan

coffeeman · Joined: 24 Nov 2005 Location: Korea

Imagine if your parents could chose your friends too. "Oh, you can't hang out with that guy. You have to hang out with this guy."

Whether it's friendship or marriage, I think it's natural for people to be happier with other people with similar interests and values. You have to look for that person. Rarely is it the girl / boy next door.

The problem I see with the current Korean way is that they're obsessed with age. When a girl gets in her late 20's / guy early 30's, they look around and marry the first decent-looking person they see. I don't know, but maybe I am too choosy. We westerners have grown up with the idea of romance like our partner should sweep us off of our feet. Real romance often doesn't work that way. Often it's just a friendship that blooms into something more.

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

I think the 50% divorce rate pretty well answers the OP.

Wangja · Joined: 17 May 2004 Location: Seoul, Yongsan

What 50% divorce rate?

Unreal · Joined: 01 Jul 2004 Location: Jeollabuk-do

It was pushing 50% in 2003: