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Octavius Hite
Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Location: Househunting, looking for a new bunker from which to convert the world to homosexuality.
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 Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: Christian Virgins Are Overrated..... |
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....Think sex and drugs destroy America? Try naive chastity. Oh, and "Purity Balls"
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2006/05/12/notes051206.DTL
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There are these things. These unholy events called "Purity Balls" and you should probably fall to your knees right this minute and thank a merciful and lubricious and happily polyamorous God that you do not know what they are and that you have access right this minute to vast quantities of wine to deflect their nasty karmic arrows because, you know, oh my God. But hey, free country.
Purity Balls. No, not some sort of newfangled spherical chastity device to be inserted using vacuum tubes and pulleys, but rather fancy creepy dress-up rituals taking place in towns like Colorado Springs and Tucson and Zoloft Jesusville, in which Christian dads rent a bad tux while their daughters, mostly teenagers but many as young as 6 or 7, get all dolled up in gowns from JCPenny and they all drive out to the airport Marriott and prepare to, well, lose their minds.
It begins. At some point the daughter stands up, her pale arms wrapped around her daddy, and reads aloud a formal pledge that she will remain forever pure and virginal and sex-free until she is handed over, by her dad (who is actually called the "high priest" of the home), like some sort of sad hymenic gift, to her husband, who will receive her like the sanitized and overprotected and libidinously inept servant she so very much is. Praise!
Would that I were making this up.
The dad -- er, high priest -- in turn, stands up and reads his pledge, one stating that he will work to protect his daughter's virginal purity that he has so carefully and wickedly drilled into her since birth, since she was knee-high to a disturbing dogma, that he will protect her chastity and oversee it and help enforce its boundaries, which might or might not involve great amounts of rage and confusion and secret stashes of cheap scotch, although his pledge claims it's with honor and integrity and lots of bewildering Godspeak. Which, in many households, is essentially the same thing.
It's true. Purity Balls are happening, right now. And yes, you have heard this all before. Particularly from the conservative Right, especially from America's rigid and pale fundamentalist "core."
Premarital sex is evil. Female sexuality must be, as ever, contained, repressed, shoved deep down lest it tempt men to sin like gleeful pagans licking ice cream from the pierced nipples of the devil. Girls do not know how to handle their own genitalia and therefore must be taught -- by their fathers, no less -- how to dilute their sexual power in order to attract a sexually unqualified, God-fearing husband. You know, same as it ever was.
Very well. Let us now trace the path of imminent cultural destruction: Virgin girl has zero experience with the joys of her own body, with orgasm, with men, with sex toys or shower heads or good gynecological gizmongery. She then marries a man who will very likely have not the slightest clue (as he has had the same dreadful sexual miseducation as our fair virgin) as to what to do with a woman's body, who will, by most all accounts, be unable to tell an erogenous zone from an elbow, a clitoris from a belly button.
Voil�, the standard recipe for emotional, physical and spiritual catastrophe, for roughly 17 years of vague marital misery capped off by divorce and much therapy and four unhappy children and the profound and aching need located somewhere deep beneath the pelvic bone to try something, anything new and different and sexually liberating.
Let's just say it outright: The superiority of virginity myth, it is a massive, underreported disaster. It is a ridiculous and exhausting misconception that must be eradicated like a cancer. Perhaps French philosopher Voltaire said it best, nearly 300 years ago: "It is one of the great superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue." So true.
Which is another way of asking, Don't we have it exactly backward? Shouldn't one's overall happiness -- physical, marital or otherwise -- be directly equated with exceptional amounts of sexual training and education and awareness? Is such positively libidinous education not a recipe for health and well-being and long-term marital satisfaction? You already know the answer.
Look, the plague of sexual incompetence plagues our land like a plague. It infects our schools, our popular culture, our presidential administration. The right endorses wanton sexual stupidity (and all ensuing miseries, drug addictions, divorces, stresses, gun fetishes, online porn obsessions) through failed abstinence programs, STD misinformation, refusal to support quality birth control and the relentless repetition of lies about sin and depravity and a shocking ignorance of the transformative spiritual power of sex. Purity Balls? Nothing but a sad celebration of that exact ignorance.
No wonder over half of all teens who take any sort of virginity pledge end up breaking the ridiculous vow within a year (says a new Harvard study), and fully 88 percent end up having sex before marriage anyway. What's more, such silly pledges only result in more oral and anal sex among teens who try, vainly, to adhere. They also marry younger, have fewer sexual partners (read: less skill) and yet have exactly the same rate of STDs as kids who are smart enough to avoid such pointless pledges in the first place.
Would that we had a new agenda, a sexually informed education system that truly empowered teens, that taught open-minded respect for bodies and flesh, pleasure and joy and physical/spiritual awareness. Sure, include STDs and appropriate birth-control information, but not as a deterrent, not as some sort of nasty weapon of fear. Rather, arm your virgin daughters and inept sons with slick and giddy reverence for the joys of the flesh, for its potential to transform and ease tension and make you realize all is not so wrong and sinful and hateful with the world.
Would we not be utterly transformed? Would we not finally be free of the sneering, churlish mentality that somehow thinks virgins are dumb, immaculate prizes to be won? Let's just say it: There is no sacredness in the virgin. There is only the fear, were she to be educated and empowered and really let loose, of what she could become. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:29 am Post subject: |
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| Probably better than the alternative: an AIDS-ridden generation of unmarried mothers and abortions. |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 4:13 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
| Probably better than the alternative: an AIDS-ridden generation of unmarried mothers and abortions. |
If you have abortions then you have a lot less unmarried mothers. People are going to pork no matter what. Have you given up porking chicks, Rapier, since you discovered Jesus? |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 4:20 am Post subject: |
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Abortion wasn't required until the free love 60's rolled in. It was intorduced as a band aid to the sudden shattering of western society. You think its a necessity now, but society lived quite happily without cellphones 50 years ago. Killing a lot of defenseless babies is the price for your lack of self control.
Last edited by rapier on Tue May 30, 2006 5:35 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Endesu
Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 5:33 am Post subject: |
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Not often do I agree so wholeheartedly with an oppinion piece, but that was just spot on. And explained why the USA is a place I, and many people like me, could never live. Freedom my ass. These right wing conservatives are as scary as fundamental muslims. And they want everybody else to live like them. Arghhh.
Opressing women and ruining lives in the name of religion, I wonder if the world will ever get rid of religious fanatics....
And I have never understood how people can be opposed to abortions in this day and age, but we are all entitled to our own oppinions. But if abortions is not right for you, why cant it be right for others? And shouldnt it be a womans own choice?
Im sure religion is good for some people, and helps them through hardships in their life, but at the same time Im convinced it does more harm than good in this world.
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mithridates
Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: President's office, Korean Space Agency
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 5:42 am Post subject: |
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| That article is proof that the non-religous are not simply content to let religious people be themselves, contrary to the opinions of a lot of atheists. The only valid point would be those that infringe on the ability of non-religious people to get abortions or birth control, but the bringing up the purity ball in the beginning shows that the writer is simply offended by people with a different value system than him/her. |
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On the other hand
Joined: 19 Apr 2003
Location: I walk along the avenue
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 5:54 am Post subject: |
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That article is proof that the non-religous are not simply content to let religious people be themselves, contrary to the opinions of a lot of atheists. The only valid point would be those that infringe on the ability of non-religious people to get abortions or birth control, but the bringing up the purity ball in the beginning shows that the writer is simply offended by people with a different value system than him/her.
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And you can bet that if it were Morrocan Muslims or Korean Confucians holding a similar ceremony, San Francisco liberals would not be ridiculing it in the local arts paper. |
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mithridates
Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: President's office, Korean Space Agency
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:06 am Post subject: |
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 A bit off-topic but I just noticed the Google ads on the bottom of the page:
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God is not a sadist
Not all Christians believe that God torments sinners for all eternity
www.UniversalistChristians.org
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:25 am Post subject: |
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On the other hand...
Lets see. If you were the proud father of an attractive teenage daughter living in a neighborhood of promiscuous guys, some quite possibly with aids, some drug-users etc etc..what advice would you give her?
I don't think you'd be saying "go for it! I want you to be an experienced girl and if something goes wrong theres always an abortion clinic down the road."
Check out the news today:
UNAIDS head: World is losing HIV fight
By MARGIE MASON, AP Medical Writer
Tue May 30, 7:09 AM ET
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060530/ap_on_he_me/aids_piot
face it...America is adjusting to a world that is different to how things were 40 years ago. There is a gradual ressurgence of traditional values because...they are needed. |
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On the other hand
Joined: 19 Apr 2003
Location: I walk along the avenue
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:30 am Post subject: |
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On the other hand...
Lets see. If you were the proud father of an attractive teenage daughter living in a neighborhood of promiscuous guys, some quite possibly with aids, some drug-users etc etc..what advice would you give her?
I don't think you'd be saying "go for it! I want you to be an experienced girl and if something goes wrong theres always an abortion clinic down the road."
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Rapier:
Why are you addressing these comments at me? I wasn't criticizing the "purity balls".
(Wasn't really defending them either. Just pointing out the likely double standards of the people who do ridicule them.) |
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Endesu
Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:32 am Post subject: |
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No, but I would trust her to make her own decisions based on me and my wifes advice. I would never restrict her movement in any way, nor would I forbid her to have sex and do what she wants. I believe your children carry on your own values, but they need to find out for themselves how to use them in society. And oh, I wouldnt live on a street full of druggies and HIV-positives.
And whats the difference between a teenage son and a teenage daughter? Shouldnt they have the same rules and values taught to them? I would think a son would be as likely to get into trouble as a daughter. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:55 am Post subject: |
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| On the other hand wrote: |
Rapier:
Why are you addressing these comments at me? I wasn't criticizing the "purity balls".
(Wasn't really defending them either. Just pointing out the likely double standards of the people who do ridicule them.) |
Ahem..oops..
ok, endesu..
My basic point is this..
you don't believe chastity is a legitimate response to the situation in the west nowadays. Some people do, and it does you no harm that they do. Many, many cultures in the world believe in it...and the west has a legacy of STD's and one-parent families to care for because they don't...I've met plenty women who had abortions and are emotionally damaged to some degree because of it. Hardly strikes me as a great scenario.
if you had a daughter..you would want to protect her from harm. thats all I'm saying. You would want to eliminate risks from her future. At least until she was old enough and mature enough to make the decisions for herself.
What i'm reacting to basically is the pathetically juvenile writing of the op..
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| Look, the plague of sexual incompetence plagues our land like a plague. It infects our schools |
I know plenty of girls from my year that were very experienced at 16. so experienced, that they had time off in their final year to give birth, and then either married the 16 yr old boy that got them pregnant, or are single mothers now, years later. or, the ones who had abortions but if you really know them well will tell you they have nightmares about it still. maybe these are the sorts of women the OP wants more of all over the nation? |
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bigverne
Joined: 12 May 2004
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:59 am Post subject: |
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| These right wing conservatives are as scary as fundamental muslims |
This oft repeated cliche has become the hallmark of an idiot.
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| I would never restrict her movement in any way, nor would I forbid her to have sex and do what she wants. |
You would not restrict her movement 'in any way'? That is irresponsibility of the worst kind, bordering on negligence. As a parent, it is your job to guide your children, and to sometimes enforce rules to protect them from their own poor judgement. Your statement above is indicative of what is wrong with so much of society today. Parents have given up being parents, and many of them treat their 16 or 17 year old children as if they were adults.
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| And whats the difference between a teenage son and a teenage daughter? |
Pregnancy, childbirth, and the possibility of dealing with the emotional affects of abortion. |
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Endesu
Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 7:20 am Post subject: |
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Yes, boys are, and should be, excempt from any responsibility and/or emotions regarding pregnancy, childbirth and abortion. They should be free to inflict this on more girls instead.....
When I was a teenager in the 90's, I knew no teenage mothers, my friends who did take abortions claim to have suffered no backlash from it, we enjoyed freedom with responsibility, and we have all turned out pretty well. Thats what I base my philosophy of raising children on. My parents never hit me, never yelled at me, but they let me know quite clearly what was wrong and what was right, and expected me to act accordingly. And the same goes for all my friends and the people I know from back home.
The ones that actually were screwed up the most, were the ones that were denied the same freedoms as their friends by their religious parents. Some of them have ended up cutting ties with their family completely, while others have suffered abuse and stigmatization by their well meaning, god-fearing parents.
I will happily admit that my experience is not applicable to most on this board, as I come from a small town in a small and safe country, but I just want to prove that you dont have to raise your children with a heavy hand for them to turn out good.
But Big Vern, what is your problem with me wanting to bring my children in a happy, care-free invorenment like I grew up in? Offcourse I would look after them, do whatever I could to protect them, its just that in my book, sex is not bad, and teenage sex is fine as long as they know what they are doing and what the consequences are.
Your are reading everything literally, and jumping to conclusions man. |
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Octavius Hite
Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Location: Househunting, looking for a new bunker from which to convert the world to homosexuality.
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