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I didn't think I would be this lonely
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kiwiliz



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 10:47 pm    Post subject: I didn't think I would be this lonely Reply with quote

I came to Korea last month, had not signed my contract thank goodness, it was with a dud hogwan and the contract they wanted me to sign once I got here was rather different to the emailed one.
so I chose a public elementary school position for the second job, in Jecheon, a small city, 150,000 odd people, thinking atleast I was less likely to be 'done'

and the job is good, 4 different schools during the week, one I follow the book, one I do my own thing, the other 2 are somewhere in the middle. the co-teachers are lovely etc....but I am more lonely then I thought i would be. Trouble is I am older , 47 and female and don't drink much.

I will be doing some study which might help and hopefully getting the internet in my room soon. But any other ideas? there are Middle school teachers in my block...3 of them, lovely people...but they are not into hiking much. I would hike alone but you try finding a map!

The job is fine , the people are good, but the aloneness is likely to make me leave if I dont' sort it.
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ilovebdt



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Location: Nr Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 10:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi

You could try www.adventurekorea.com
They have hiking trips.

ilovebdt
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rawiri



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, i feel for you as i'm kind of in the same situation. I'm in a public school in a small out of the way area as well, i went to an outside bar last friday for about 5 hours with my korean co teachers and didn't see one foreigner that entire time.

Let me be brutally honest with you. Life in korea for those over 35 who don't have connections in terms of solid friends already here are (only my opinion as i know there's prob a lot of over 35 people posting on this board) going to find things a little hard going. The fact is that amongst a lot of the younger bunch (20-30) there is a certain attitude regarding the older crop of esl teachers. I just attended a conference of public school teachers and more than once did the conversation of some of the older teachers come up. I didn't really participate in these conversations as i saw them for what they were, pettymindedness from people with not a whole lot of life experince (some of the comments were pretty harsh).

So.....that said, Korea can just be a really weird place in terms of interaction with other foreigners, this contract I have set goals of just knuckling down during the week, i work good hours, 9-5, so from 530 or so i hit the gym for maybe two hours, home, eat, watch some tv or a movie crash out, repeat. Thats monday to friday sown up. I have some friends from previous contacts and new guys i met who i might meet up with over the weekend for drinks, either that or i'm probably in the pc bang loading up my ipod. I'll probably start playing with a seoul based sports club on sundays, but i just have to get my a into g on that one.

My point is that this country has the ability to seriously mess with your mind if you let it, so counter this by filling in your free time with stuff, anything is better than sitting around feeling down or mulling things over. From my experience, a lot of the time i was/am hanging out with other foreigners, some level of drinking was/is involved, for me, that's just been a natural part of the expat experience in korea.

I don't know how would be best for you to go about meeting people but i'm sure people on this board will be able to lead you in the right direction . Good luck!.
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blaseblasphemener



Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Few tips for what they're worth:

You're in a foreign country, away from home, and mostly, away from the comfort zone.

Do stuff, as long as it means you're interacting with people. It will lead to new frienships, new activities, and will get you out of your own head.

Get cable, On-Style channel is great for western shows, helps at night when the lonliness hits.

Go to a PC room and chat with friends. They're cheap. Find one that is less smoky, if you can.

Stay positive, and learn to read hangul. it is easy.
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kiwiliz



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks guys,
Forgot to mention I am 47, love the teaching...lol..but I guess it is a young persons game, though I have been travelling and working for the past 3 years.
Also right now, well I have not been paid yet as I dont' have the right Visa..so lack of funds doesn't help...and when I get the first one..I am paying back the loans.
am going to Korean language lessons, but again, only 5 people or so go to those...all under 30.
Is there room in this career for an older person do you think?
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Wangja



Joined: 17 May 2004
Location: Seoul, Yongsan

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes: very much so. I know many teachers your age and older. (I am older, but not a teacher). There is even a group of "over 40's" who have lunch once a month in Seoul, usually the third Sunday, and it might be worth the trek for you.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mostlyover40/

(Free to join).
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Yu_Bum_suk



Joined: 25 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I could find myself writing a very similar post if I didn't like drinking.
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SPINOZA



Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kiwiliz wrote:
thanks guys,
Forgot to mention I am 47......


You didn't forget.

My best friend in Korea might've had your job 2 years previously. Or perhaps he was in middle schools, I can't remember.

Generally speaking, sound advice is to get yourself to Itaewon and meet a nice Korean girl/guy who speaks some English, but whether that's applicable in your case I'm not sure. Definitely go to Seoul sometimes, as there are hiking opportunities aplenty and you've more chance of meeting some people. You'd be surprised how many folks you'll meet of your own age-group if that's important.
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happygirl



Joined: 20 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kiwiliz,

Where are you from? If you're Ameican this might help. I have vonage internet phone service that lets me call the States anytime to anyone at home. Being able to stay in contact with my friends and family has really made a difference. Are you close enogh to go to Daegu on sunday? If you want contact info for a church there with many foreigners pm me. There are some nice people there.
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jaganath69



Joined: 17 Jul 2003

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

rawiri wrote:
Hi, i feel for you as i'm kind of in the same situation. I'm in a public school in a small out of the way area as well, i went to an outside bar last friday for about 5 hours with my korean co teachers and didn't see one foreigner that entire time.

Let me be brutally honest with you. Life in korea for those over 35 who don't have connections in terms of solid friends already here are (only my opinion as i know there's prob a lot of over 35 people posting on this board) going to find things a little hard going. The fact is that amongst a lot of the younger bunch (20-30) there is a certain attitude regarding the older crop of esl teachers. I just attended a conference of public school teachers and more than once did the conversation of some of the older teachers come up. I didn't really participate in these conversations as i saw them for what they were, pettymindedness from people with not a whole lot of life experince (some of the comments were pretty harsh).

So.....that said, Korea can just be a really weird place in terms of interaction with other foreigners, this contract I have set goals of just knuckling down during the week, i work good hours, 9-5, so from 530 or so i hit the gym for maybe two hours, home, eat, watch some tv or a movie crash out, repeat. Thats monday to friday sown up. I have some friends from previous contacts and new guys i met who i might meet up with over the weekend for drinks, either that or i'm probably in the pc bang loading up my ipod. I'll probably start playing with a seoul based sports club on sundays, but i just have to get my a into g on that one.

My point is that this country has the ability to seriously mess with your mind if you let it, so counter this by filling in your free time with stuff, anything is better than sitting around feeling down or mulling things over. From my experience, a lot of the time i was/am hanging out with other foreigners, some level of drinking was/is involved, for me, that's just been a natural part of the expat experience in korea.

I don't know how would be best for you to go about meeting people but i'm sure people on this board will be able to lead you in the right direction . Good luck!.


Where are you now mate?
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jaganath69



Joined: 17 Jul 2003

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

happygirl wrote:
kiwiliz,

Where are you from? If you're Ameican this might help. I




Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiwi_%28people%29
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LiquidSunshine



Joined: 31 Mar 2003

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think when you first get here it's a good idea to join clubs.
there are tons of learning activities (martial arts, learning a korean traditional art or korean language lessons) and sports clubs (there's a sunday football league, a sunday/wednesday pick-up hockey team, there's ultimate frisbee every week, roller hockey, and many more) and there's also the hash group that treks around seoul every weekend and a bunch of hiking clubs. there's also some drama clubs and so on. You can also go to an art hagwon or a music hagwon. There's all kinds of places to meet people...even when you don't drink.
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rawiri



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jag,
about 40 minutes from the DMZ. One of the schools i teach at has a military training base right behind it, it's surrell (sp?) to be singin your ABC's with the little guys with the cacophony of machine guns, motars and god knows what else going off behind you. Still, after spending the better part of the last six months in australia, of course it's going to be i guess, even though i've done tours before, it still hits you when you come back. I'm in a part of paju, not that far from seoul, maybe an hour and a half to the won by bus/subway. 3 weeks in and all's well. Keep on rockin the free world aye!.
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Join the Lonely In Korea Club. Smile

I'm in Daegu. All I can say is that these past two years have been the lonliest 2 years of my life. Not only do the Koreans here speak no English, but there's a real lack of compatable foreigners for me to hang out with. I'm a big city guy, but most of the foreigners I meet are from small to mid-size cities in the U.S. They're nice people, but I just don't find that they're on the same page with me very often. For them, Daegu is just perfect and Seoul is overload. I guess what I am saying is that one thing you should consider before you agree to work with anyone is whether you can fit in to the city / town you're going to work for. Of course, there are some loners that prefer to live in the country and keep to themselves.
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n3ptne



Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Location: Poh*A*ng City

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would suggest that you drink more... it's amazing how alcohol and finding new friends go hand in hand.

Oh yeah, and one more thing, and never forget this one thing... at least you aren't at home writing on an Internet board about how lonely you are.
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