Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Junior]

-has anyone cracked the "friends" code here in K yet? Aftah 2 years in this land I have yet to make a single Korean friend. (the g/f doesn't count).

What typically happens is I get a heroes welcome from some korean, they throw themselves at me, best friends style. I gradually succomb to their enthusiasm and start to see a potential friendship. I then do friendly things. Then..they just slip away. Stop answering calls or whatever..miffed. These shallow aqcuintances come and go like formula 1 cars. Last i checked i don't have BO or bad breath either.

Is it just a curiosity thing with them? soon as they're satisfied that a foreigner is a eating, sleeping, human like them, they return to their Korean orbit. Another thing: they won't let me be at all generous. Noo, they always have to be the one to foot the bill (i'm supposed to be eternally in their debt i take it?)- or they just don't want an equal exchange of give and take...

I mean the other day, a "prend" drove me somewhere i needed. I thought it'd me nice to take him for a galbi. But he made all sorts of excuses, then at last INSISTED on cooking me a meal at his house.I managed to half the cost of it,, (which came to more than if I'd simply paid for 2 portions of it at a galbi-jib). Did he just not want to be seen in public dining with a way-gook? whacked.

[Css]

Perhaps they get annoyed with you takin the piss out of their english?

I doubt he was ashamed of being seeing out with a foreigner...Youre more likely to be shown off than hidden away..

Ive pretty much cracked the korean friend code..

Its pretty radical..





prepare yourself.







Just treat them like you would anyone else...
If someones weird then theyre probably just a weirdo...if everyones weird then chances are youre a weirdo

[Qinella]

[Satori]

The older you get the harder it is to me make real friends. I mean real REAL friends. My friends would take a bullet for me and vice verca. We have known each other for 15 years.

One really obvious thing is if you have something in common, like an activity you enjoy doing together, it has more of a chance. I did not make many male friends in Korea. The ones I did make were all "excentric" as far as Korean norms go. But the small number I do count as friend are very tight friends that I will keep in touch with forever.

[merlot]

[holeinthesky]

My closest friends in Korea are Gyopos and Koreans. The only foreigners I hang with are coworkers....
What's important is working out who wants to be your "friend" to practice their English and who actually likes you for YOU

[kermo]

I have two really really good Korean friends, and that's it. I don't feel like I picked them- more like they picked me. We don't have much in common, but they love me ferociously so I can't help but love them back. I've been taken to the beach, to the mountains, to the emergency room... don't know what I would do without them.

I think it's tough to make friends in Korea, at least for me, because many of the people I meet have never been outside the country, have always lived at home, and so haven't had a lot of the same experiences. Many women around my age are married and don't have time to hang out.

Wish I could offer you some words of advice but my friends just "happened" to me. What does your girlfriend say about this situation?

[EFLtrainer]

[jajdude]

Other than a co-worker or two I haven't had any male Korean friends in my years here. Korean male English teachers are apparently a bit scarce. I've met a few nice Korean fellows, and saw them a few times, but that was about it. I've had a few Korean female friends. Those friendships were more substantial. Oh, I'm not including Kyopos, since they're generally as western as I am.

Agreed about Koreans sometimes seeing our friendships as strangee. Isn't it nice though, that most of us western people, I think, believe friendship is possible between any two people, regardless of age, background, etc. It seems like most Koreans view friendships nearly impossible if the age or status or whatever is not nearly the same. This may not apply to many older adults, but for, say, teenagers or even those in ther 20s, one year/grade age difference means too much for a westerner to really comprehend, unless it's boyfriend-girlfriend.

What other nation is so exclusive in so many ways? China or Japan? I do not know

Have you taught classes where the students are all usually quiet and never seem to break the ice with each other? They are from different grades or schools, male and female, or whatever. I even have kids still in elementary school who are like this. I think it sinks in as early as grade 4 or 5 that belonging to a specific group is very important here.

[mindmetoo]