Korean Job Discussion Forums

[gibbythecat]

I have found a solution to the continual 'accidental bumping into' on the streets that happens here between korean men[only the men do this] and westerners.

Its great fun,very effective,and cheap.

After six months of continually being knocked hard on the sidewalk by both young and old korean men on purpose..shoes damaged,bruised etc ..sometimes on an otherwise empty sidewalk,I started loosing it a little and have devised this..
I have been doing it for about a month,particularly in Kan nam where its a real problem [for some reason every cardboard suited young gent. has to walk into me/push me hard]..and it works,honest!

Roll up a newspaper or magasine VERY TIGHTLY.
you now have a legal weapon,a stick that is strong in compression.

hold it tightly at one end in your hand,with your arm straight by your side, paper pointing foreward slightly,tilted at about 20 degrees vetically,and 10mm angled outside your body.[any more than this and you are being as bad as them,haha].

...so when the korean gentleman walks into you,he gets a very painful sharp jab right into his sloar plexus[just under his ribs is best,the soft bit]
its fantastic how much they yell in pain and surprise,shock etc...[after having made a deliberate beeline for you in the first place].

then smile sweetly and say in english[ but not korean, as we don't want time wasting dialogue here,we know we can't teach them anything,their ways are best] ..'how terribly sorry you are' as you continue on your way,unbruised,shoes intact,suit unrumpled etc.



NB: one must not make it too clear that they are about to get clobbered by pointing the stick at them... or strangely they actually walk round you...and we were always told[by koreans] the reason that they walked into you was because they 'could not see you, the confucian thing,not introduced, you don't exist,korea very crowded[unlike all the other cities in the world]' etc etc
Well all this proves thats not true,as we always knew,and they are quite capable of 'course changes' at the last minute..you just have to give them a little incentive.

Next week I will tell you how to deal with korean car drivers [the worlds best,most accurate and skilled drivers]who try to run you down in narrow allyways, when you are on foot,using only a simple set of housekeys!


hiseoul ..the dynamic hub of asia welcomes the world

[chomsky]

I had the same experience many times until I got real tired of being knocked about so tried this: 1) When carrying umbrella, cane, knapsack, etc. 2) ...as scooter approaches continue walking and extend arms fully holding object out to give yourself safety room 3) scooter driver will chicken out, slow a little, and move around you to avoid hitting the umbrella and wiping out all over the pavement. If he doesn't, he (rightly) gets a knock instead of you. WORKS EVERY TIME.

[chomsky]

[itchy]

0--0-0

[peemil]

To hell with them. Bugger their culture... You're not here... Whatever... Just stand their and stare them down. They are going to move and when they swerve just attack them. Stand still and as they come around threaten violence. They get really fruited out and start wobbling. They have to go around.

I ride a motorbike over here so I am not one for stupidity on the roads. I've been riding for years. I know what riders do in Korea. On the sidewalk, through the red lights- Whatever. They are inside their own little "Korean bubbles." I find when a car tries to change lanes and I am in the way just start kicking the front of their cars... They'll pay attention then. What are they going to do- Sue me... I am defending myself. Dr Martens don't fail me now!

[little mixed girl]

....

[Squid]

My advice, and it's good advice, is to dance like Richard gere in "Breathless".