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otis
Joined: 02 Jun 2006
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 Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:02 am Post subject: Quitting the Booze--for a while anyway |
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I'm just getting off a three day binge. My behavior was terrible.
I teased a special-ed guy till he was just about crying. I kept calling him Cherry Boy. His father owns the bar. That's why he is allowed to hang out in there. He's actually retarded so he shouldn't even be allowed in barrooms. But picking on a retarded person till they explode really isn't cool.
Then my friends and I went to a strip joint near my house. It's called the Paradise. It's not paradise. They had two dancers--a midget and a fat girl. No kidding. I offered the fat girl 500 bucks to go to bed with me. She refused. After that, I offered the midget 500 bucks to go to bed with me. She also refused.
I got kicked out of the bar. I fell down in the parking lot and opened up a nasty gash on my forehead.
The next day I got drunk again and had a bar-b-que. I threw firecrackers at a wasps nest. I recieved four stings. My arm is all swollen up.
I went to a bar after the bar-b-que covered in blood from the night before and aching from hornet stings. I got kicked out for calling everybody the c-word. Women hate that word.
My behavior isn't cute when I'm drunk. In fact, my behavior is almost insane.
So I'm putting the cork back in the bottle. I never get the shakes or wake up craving a drink or anything associated with typical alcoholism.
My problem is that I can never stop at a couple. If I have a shot of Chivas, you can bet your life I'm going to keep drinking till I pass out.
So goodbye booze--at least for a couple weeks or so. |
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pegpig
Joined: 10 May 2005
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:41 pm Post subject: Re: Quitting the Booze--for a while anyway |
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| otis wrote: |
| I offered the fat girl 500 bucks to go to bed with me. She refused. After that, I offered the midget 500 bucks to go to bed with me. She also refused. |
Ah, your life in a nutshell.
| otis wrote: |
So goodbye booze--at least for a couple weeks or so. |
Thank God! |
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pegpig
Joined: 10 May 2005
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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| otis wrote: |
I enjoy being married, and I love my little boy. But a whole new layer of responsibility gets added to you.
My single goals: Get through a day of work and find a nice place to get drunk.
My married goals: Make as much money as I can. Work my fingers to the bone. Try my best not to die before sixty so I can get my boy through college. |
The incongruity is startling. |
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tiger fancini
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Location: Testicles for Eyes
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:01 pm Post subject: Re: Quitting the Booze--for a while anyway |
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| otis wrote: |
| He's actually retarded so he shouldn't even be allowed in barrooms. |
Why do you enjoy offending 'retarded people' so much? This attitude is disgusting, especially coming from someone who has supposedly been a teacher. I shudder to think what kind of things you taught your kids. Is this the kind of thing that you are teaching your little boy too?
I, and I imagine countless others, would much rather have a few drinks with a 'retarded person' than a tw@t like you. |
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TheFonz
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Location: North Georgia
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:18 pm Post subject: Re: Quitting the Booze--for a while anyway |
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| otis wrote: |
I'm just getting off a three day binge. My behavior was terrible.
I teased a special-ed guy till he was just about crying. I kept calling him Cherry Boy. His father owns the bar. That's why he is allowed to hang out in there. He's actually retarded so he shouldn't even be allowed in barrooms. But picking on a retarded person till they explode really isn't cool.
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Did you skip the part where you go home and beat your wife?
Seriously making fun of a mentally challenged person is about as low as you can get. |
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laogaiguk
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Mentally challenged people never fight back, so it's pretty easy to insult them, huh? Anyways, thank you Otis for reminding me why I am glad to be me and not you. |
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SPINOZA
Joined: 10 Jun 2005
Location: $eoul
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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Sounds as though you've got a problem with alcoholism, Otis, in addition to a problem with sheer stupidity.
Mind you, I'm in no position to criticise. I could get pissed and be extremely obnoxious for Britain. |
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skinhead
Joined: 11 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:51 pm Post subject: Re: Quitting the Booze--for a while anyway |
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| otis wrote: |
I'm just getting off a three day binge. My behavior was terrible.
I teased a special-ed guy till he was just about crying. I kept calling him Cherry Boy. His father owns the bar. That's why he is allowed to hang out in there. He's actually retarded so he shouldn't even be allowed in barrooms. But picking on a retarded person till they explode really isn't cool.
Then my friends and I went to a strip joint near my house. It's called the Paradise. It's not paradise. They had two dancers--a midget and a fat girl. No kidding. I offered the fat girl 500 bucks to go to bed with me. She refused. After that, I offered the midget 500 bucks to go to bed with me. She also refused.
I got kicked out of the bar. I fell down in the parking lot and opened up a nasty gash on my forehead.
The next day I got drunk again and had a bar-b-que. I threw firecrackers at a wasps nest. I recieved four stings. My arm is all swollen up.
I went to a bar after the bar-b-que covered in blood from the night before and aching from hornet stings. I got kicked out for calling everybody the c-word. Women hate that word.
My behavior isn't cute when I'm drunk. In fact, my behavior is almost insane.
So I'm putting the cork back in the bottle. I never get the shakes or wake up craving a drink or anything associated with typical alcoholism.
My problem is that I can never stop at a couple. If I have a shot of Chivas, you can bet your life I'm going to keep drinking till I pass out.
So goodbye booze--at least for a couple weeks or so. |
I applaud your honesty, your candour and your willingness to approach your problems with a clear head and a healthy, politcally correct attitude. But seriously, you sound like a great bloke the way you were. If you're ever in our neck of the woods, drop us a line; we'll go to town on the tards and enjoy the best knee-trembler you can get from a 3 foot bow-legged woman at a spit bar by the park. Do you taunt and harrass the gay too? Into a little hit n run on the homeless? Man, the times we could have. Don't change, pal. You are the MAN. |
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Demophobe
Joined: 17 May 2004
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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People, people...this is just another bait-post.
You folks don't learn with Otis. Never, never, never take him seriously. He will post anything to get a reaction. Just let him post and | |
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