Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Skywalker26]

I have been mulling the topic over.....bit of a personal development, but I do believe that don't want to have children. I am a teacher by trade and as much as I love teaching children, I shy away from the idea of being responsible of having one of my own.

No argument with those who want kids. I mean, by all means breed away.
But I wonder how many of you out there frown at those who don't want children.

Is it selfish of me?

[indiercj]

Just imagine your dad asking himself that question (put your own age) years ago.

[formerflautist]

People do tend to frown on those of us who don't want kids. But are we wrong for acknowledging that perhaps we're not cut out to be parents? Being a parent is a 24/7 job and it's not a job that everyone can handle or even wants. I think it's more selfish to have children because that's what's expected.

[Ya-ta Boy]

[Corporal]

It's becoming far more acceptable not to want/have kids now than it used to be; still, if you're feeling as if you're alone in that, check out these links:

www.bratfree.com
www.childfree.net

Interesting reading/food for thought, some of it, but there is a LOT of anger. People like tzechuk probably can't handle it over there.

[Natalia]

I didn't know people thought it was a crime not to have children. Maybe 'Western' culture really is extremely different from place to place. My parents have a considerable number of friends (read 'ESL teacher's parents' age') who chose not to have children, and I'm sure there was a lot more stigma attached to it then than now.

I have seven cousins between twenty-one and forty, and none of them have children. And we're Catholic. My parents wouldn't mind having grandchildren, but also know there is a good chance they won't be getting any.

I wouldn't say never, but certainly it's not something I want now.

I think people are 'settling down' a hell of a lot later than people did even a generation ago. Just look at all of us over here in Korea when we should have set up a nice little home in the suburbs back home by now.

[VanIslander]

[Qinella]

[jessiaka]

As an Early Childhood Educator, I think it is completely unselfish of yourself to not want to have children. If someone doesn't think they can provide enough love and guidance to a child, then I think it's extremely responsible of them to not want to have children.
I've seen some very, very sad things in my short time (thus far) as an ECE in Canada, and out here as well. Some people should not have children.

PS: I don't want to have children myself, but only because I am perfectly happy with my man and my dog. Haha. That and I plan to open an Infant/Toddler centre when I return to Canada, and trust me, working in I/T you get your fill of babies (but I LOVE it! Just don't want to have to come home to one of my own that will eventually grow up, hahahaha).

[EFLtrainer]

Personally, I think the world is heading for a black hole/New Middle ages, so pat yourself on the back. Unless, of course, you think among your progeny is/are the savior(s) of the world. In that case, how dare you, you selfish bas tard!!!

Ah, therein lies the rub.

Pun un, then fully in, tended.

[mole]

A wise man once told me he and his wife had made a couple of replacements for themselves, and that's plenty.
Given the worldwide population dynamics, there's no shame in not wanting children.

[TheFonz]

Thanks for keeping the population down. You should listen to one of Bill Hicks rants on the miracle of childbirth.

Are you being selfish? No not at all. If you don't want children why would you have them just because that is "the thing to do". I imagine if you did have children you would love them and value the experiance. However if thats not for you don't feel guilty about it.


Now if your wife got pregnant and you chose not to have them via abortion that is a different topic altogether. This is not a hijack attempt.

[SeoulFinn]

Aren't there enough people on this planet already? I've never even entertained the idea of having my own children. Not even once in my life. But I don't have anything against them or the people who want them, though. I just don't want to have my own.

Because most of the women I know want to have kids, you can probably imagine how difficult it was to find one that felt the same way as I do. In Korea they are few and far between. Anyway, if having kids will later become an issue, I'm willing to adopt one rather than have my own.

[WorldWide]

This is a good question that is relevant to everyone on this site. Having kids is really the whole point of life, if you think about it. Working, dating, improving yourself all leads toward reproduction.

However, our world has changed a lot even in one generation. When my father was in his early 20's he was able to find a career that paid a respectable wage. That was common back then. He could afford to get married and start a family early.

Today it is much more difficult to launch an adult life. Young people aren't really getting on their feet until they are into their 30's. Decent paying stable careers are hard to come by. $25,000 just isn't good enough to carry rent/mortgage, student loan payments, car payments, household bills, food... not to mention a spouse and child. 25 G's is about $13 dollars an hour before taxes. It isn't an easy thing to come by a job that pays much higher than that these days.

If you want to raise a family you need money, plain and simple. $45,000 a year is a minimum if your wife plans to be a stay at home mom. Even then, things will be tight.

Not having kids? I think everyone has a built in desire to want them. Even people who say they don't. It is ingrained biology to want offspring. People who do not have kids tend to lead miserable lives once they are passed their prime. The thought of being 45+ without a person in the world who cares about you is a disturbing thought. Once your life is on the downward slope, family becomes all that matters. You will have a house, a car, a bank account and comfort by then. What will it matter once you've got it all?

[Mitch Comestein]