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ESL Teachers--Which Kind Are You?!?
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zappadelta



Joined: 31 Aug 2004

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The Know It All. Think "Cliff Claven" on the old TV series "Cheers." Knows everything about everything but their facts are usually off......



Just call this The Canucks
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We should have a category for cheapshot artists and guys with axes to grind, you know the type, always ready for a criticism about Korea, Koreans, expats, whatever pet peeves they stock up to gleefully mention.
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jaderedux



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Variations on a theme:

Veg head: Usually not to bad. Vegitarian but not a p.i.a about it. Quietly picks off meat and eats at home alot. Seldom whines about it doesn't preach. Does not have to be killed.

Militant Vegatarian: Constantly whining, preaching and leaving crap on your desk about what will happen to you if you eat meat. Usually try to read this while eating a chicken leg or something for full effect. Female version: Long flowing tops and gauze skirts that almost touch the floor. Law requires they must own either a pair of birks or earth shoes. Male version same top as women frequently but loose pants usually not jeans. Requiste back pack from Nepal. Looks sad when ever pizza is ordered. Will go nuts if even one sliver of meat crosses their lips...Does not need to be killed but a severe beating for bad fashion may be in order.

Vegans: Men must sport chin pubes of some sort. Women frequently shun shaving of the legs and underarms. Frequently tattooed with cool p.e.t.a sayings. Tee-shirts spout their politics.

Many interesting variations: Anarchrist: Meat is murder man! Dyed black hair, eyeliner, talks incessently about the G8 and FTA. Pale and anal retentive about food. Impossible to have meal with them. May need to be killed.

Sad hopeless: Cries at the thought of animals being killed. Constantly forwarding pictures of slaughter houses and chicken farms. Quietly munching on a carrot while tears slip down their cheeks watching a doco on veal farming. Killing not necessary since eventually they will blow themselves up for earth first or something.

Canada Man (can be female) Asks you where you are from and should you have the stupidity to say USA will regale you on end about the inherent evilness of America. Pulls out the list of stars that are Canadian as if you care about Jim Carrey, Pat Sajak and Dan Akyroyd. Will also be sure to tell you about the 1812 war and how they burned down the white house. How great they treated their "indians". May need a beating but seldom requires death.

American Loud! Thinks you can buy everything. Tips are good. America rocks. Everywhere else sucks. Why the hell can't they just speak english. Thinks chicks dig him. Hits on EVERYONE. Throw enough $hit against the wall and eventually it will stick. Likes to fight and well you know. Laughs at other variations of English. Refuses metric system wholeheartedly. May not need to be killed but frequently is. (I am american btw)

Angry girl: No bra, no shaving, no make up no friends. Rails about the evilness of men and men and then men. Sometimes fat but not always sometimes anorexic and for some reason frequently a non-meat eater. I say once you get a burger in them they mellow out some.

Politico: Should be shot on sight! Bush is bad...blah blah blah! FTA blah blah blah! In Uni I studied... blah blah blah....Socialism blah blah...Money bad...blah blah blah....Marx Engles blah blah blah...Human rights...blah blah blah...flip side is the uber straight all will be cured by money and god..again save your self the trouble and drink heavily or shoot em!

These are just a few I have run into.

Jade


Last edited by jaderedux on Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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flotsam



Joined: 28 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jaderedux wrote:
Variations on a theme:

Veg head: Usually not to bad. Vegitarian but not a p.i.a about it. Quietly picks off meat and eats at home alot. Seldom whines about it doesn't preach. Does not have to be killed.

Militant Vegatarian: Constantly whining, preaching and leaving crap on your desk about what will happen to you if you eat meat. Usually try to read this while eating a chicken leg or something for full effect. Female version: Long flowing tops and gauze skirts that almost touch the floor. Law requires they must own either a pair of birks or earth shoes. Male version same top as women frequently but loose pants usually not jeans. Requiste back back from Nepal. Looks sad when ever pizza is ordered. Will go nuts if even one sliver of meat crosses their lips...Does not need to be killed but a severe beating for bad fashion may be in order.

Vegans: Men must sport chin pubes of some sort. Women frequently shun shaving of the legs and underarms. Frequently tattooed with cool p.e.t.a sayings. Tee-shirts spout their politics.

Many interesting variations: Anarchrist: Meat is murder man! Dyed black hair, eyeliner, talks incessently about the G8 and FTA. Pale and anal retentive about food. Impossible to have meal with them. May need to be killed.

Sad hopeless: Cries at the thought of animals being killed. Constantly forwarding pictures of slaughter houses and chicken farms. Quietly munching on a carrot while tears slip down their cheeks watching a doco on veal farming. Killing not necessary since eventually they will blow themselves up for earth first or something.

Canada Man (can be female) Asks you where you are from and should you have the stupidity to say USA will regale you on end about the inherent evilness of America. Pulls out the list of stars that are Canadian as if you care about Jim Carrey, Pat Sajak and Dan Akyroyd. Will also be sure to tell you about the 1812 war and how they burned down the white house. How great they treated their "indians". May need a beating but seldom requires death.

American Loud! Thinks you can buy everything. Tips are good. America rocks. Everywhere else sucks. Why the hell can't they just speak english. Thinks chicks dig him. Hits on EVERYONE. Throw enough $hit against the wall and eventually it will stick. Likes to fight and well you know. Laughs at other variations of English. Refuses metric system wholeheartedly. May not need to be killed but frequently is. (I am american btw)

Angry girl: No bra, no shaving, no make up no friends. Rails about the evilness of men and men and then men. Sometimes fat but not always sometimes anorexic and for some reason frequently a non-meat eater. I say once you get a burger in them they mellow out some.

Politico: Should be shot on sight! Bush is bad...blah blah blah! FTA blah blah blah! In Uni I studied... blah blah blah....Socialism blah blah...Money bad...blah blah blah....Marx Engles blah blah blah...Human rights...blah blah blah...flip side is the uber straight all will be cured by money and god..again save your self the trouble and drink heavily or shoot em!

These are just a few I have run into.

Jade


Good attention to detail. Scrupulously edited.

Masterful.
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SuperFly



Joined: 09 Jul 2003
Location: In the doghouse

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This one should fall under hippy, but it wasn't clear if they included the traveler.


The traveler

Also know as the Trustafarian...(Trust fund hippy)

The traveler has one backpack, one pair of jeans, two tshirts, a few books and his toothbrush. He doesn't have a computer, he doesn't know what an ipod is, much less want one. He lives for his next trip to India/Thailand/Laos/Phillipines/etc. He lives on the cheapest raymeon he can get his hands on. He will haggle over a few pennies in order to save money for his next trip. He talks endlessly about his travels off the beaten path, he needs a haircut, he constantly hits up his students for dinners & loans that he'll never be around to pay back.

In addition to the above, his conversations usually revolve around proper Chillum ettiquette. His idea of photography is to take mental pictures while mediatating at base camp.
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periwinkle



Joined: 08 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The churchie What about the teacher from a fundamentalist background? I worked with several teachers who spent all their free time at church; all their friends were from church; they wouldn't go out with the rest of the teachers because booze was usually involved. Heh- my best friend here is kind of in this category. She won't date anyone here, and only goes on dates abroad with people she's met though a religious site.

The playboy Did they cover this one? Its such an obvious category! How about the guys that spend every night at hostess bars; are constantly on the prowl, hitting nightclubs on the weekend, often go to the red light districts, and learn the local language mainly to seduce the ladies? Oh, yeah- if there's a mothers' class, and the mothers are hot, they will actually volunteer to teach the class~
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

flotsam wrote:
jaderedux wrote:
Variations on a theme:

[...]

These are just a few I have run into.

Jade


Good attention to detail. Scrupulously edited.

Masterful.

Well, it was certainly enjoyable, but hers is a list of ex-pat types, rather than specifically ESL teacher types. What kind of teachers were they? Where they good? Bad? How is it to work with them? What, if anything, do they contribute to teachers' meetings? We don't know, because she didn't tell us anything other than their food or politics, or their food & politics, or their politics on food. Oh, that and whether they need to be killed or beaten.

periwinkle wrote:
The churchie What about the teacher from a fundamentalist background? I worked with several teachers who spent all their free time at church; all their friends were from church; they wouldn't go out with the rest of the teachers because booze was usually involved. Heh- my best friend here is kind of in this category. She won't date anyone here, and only goes on dates abroad with people she's met though a religious site.

And what happens on these dates of hers abroad. a broad. Hm? Does she do all sorts of nasty things like normal girls do, or do they hold hands, sing hymns & have group prayer? Oh, and like Jaderedux, you don't discuss how it is to work with them as teachers. You only talk and talk and talk about what they do in their free time. RazzRazzRazz

Quote:
The playboy Did they cover this one? Its such an obvious category! How about the guys that spend every night at hostess bars; are constantly on the prowl, hitting nightclubs on the weekend, often go to the red light districts, and learn the local language mainly to seduce the ladies? Oh, yeah- if there's a mothers' class, and the mothers are hot, they will actually volunteer to teach the class~

Here's one of the ones I was waiting for. Along with Pothead Teacher, Smuggler Teacher, Low-class Teacher, and Fake Degree Teacher, "Playboy Teacher" is one of the Korean media's favourites! Wink (And let us not forget the Korea Herald's Poster-child, "Chatroom Addict Teacher"!)

But I think you overstate your case with "spend every night at hostess bars". Unless they're working at these bars, I seriously doubt they could afford a once-a-week habit.
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periwinkle



Joined: 08 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JongnoGuru wrote:


But I think you overstate your case with "spend every night at hostess bars". Unless they're working at these bars, I seriously doubt they could afford a once-a-week habit.


Ok, well not EVERY night, but at my first school, there were 2 guys exactly like this. One of them even kept a bottle in a cabinet at one of those bars. They NEVER had enough money to keep them going all month. Honestly, they spent all their money feeding their girl/ booze addictions. One of them always had a new juicy girl as his "girlfriend". they were also in REAL tight with the boss, and the boss would regularly take them out to nightclubs. Then he'd buy them girls from one of those streets with only numbers above the um, establishment (this was in Incheon)...
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flotsam



Joined: 28 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JongnoGuru wrote:
flotsam wrote:
jaderedux wrote:
Variations on a theme:

[...]

These are just a few I have run into.

Jade


Good attention to detail. Scrupulously edited.

Masterful.



Actually, I was being a bit of a dink. I thought it was awful and awfully written. But I normally like what JR writes and have nothing against her and thus have been suffering from pangs of guilt all day.

I leave my smarmy comment for the record. I suck.
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

flotsam wrote:
JongnoGuru wrote:
flotsam wrote:
jaderedux wrote:
Variations on a theme:

[...]

These are just a few I have run into.

Jade


Good attention to detail. Scrupulously edited.

Masterful.



Actually, I was being a bit of a dink. I thought it was awful and awfully written. But I normally like what JR writes and have nothing against her and thus have been suffering from pangs of guilt all day.

I leave my smarmy comment for the record. I suck.

Hey now, don't be blue. (be color=darkblue!) I mean just be thankful that you're the snotty little cynic we all wonder why we love, for if Fate had decreed otherwise, you might well be me! Clueless me! The one who didn't realise until just now that you were being sarcastic when you praised her post. Very Happy
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flotsam



Joined: 28 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JongnoGuru wrote:
we all wonder why we love


You have to WONDER about it? Why you dirty motherf...
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I'm the DYK Teacher (I have invented this category for myself. Feel free to join.)
DYK stands for "Did You Know?"

This teacher is somewhere between Lonely Planet and Cliff Claven. If you happen to mention that you need socks or crave blueberry yogurt, she will materialize as if out of nowhere, handing you the information (complete with map and nutritional information) in a sealed envelope. She'll probably walk you to the obscure little grocery and give you a mini-lecture on strange Korean pronunciation or body language etiquette on the way there. She knows more Korean than you do, and it may annoy you when she has little chats with waitresses or homeless people that you can't understand. Don't bother to borrow DVDs from her. If you're not looking for something with subtitles or a documentary on They Might Be Giants, you're out of luck.
She's alright to work with. She plays games more than she should, and misses the occasional meeting, though. When her students come to your class, they annoy the hell out of you by asking for games and when they try to explain how to play, it makes no sense at all. Never fear, the DYK girl will hand you a binder full of games and songs (so ridiculous and humiliating you will never sing them) if you even think about it in her presence. Wait, scratch that about the binder. She's not that organized, but she will scribble it all out for you on napkins the next time you're at the bar.
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flotsam



Joined: 28 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kermo wrote:
I think I'm the DYK Teacher (I have invented this category for myself. Feel free to join.)
DYK stands for "Did You Know?"


Can you please write this phonetically? Please.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

flotsam wrote:
kermo wrote:
I think I'm the DYK Teacher (I have invented this category for myself. Feel free to join.)
DYK stands for "Did You Know?"


Can you please write this phonetically? Please.


Argh. Dee-Why-Kay.
You're welcome.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Economic Refugee.
Arrived in Korea after bankruptcy. Despite living here for a number of years, still cannot order a pizza nor have food delivered to their house. Always seems to be short of money when the bill is being divvied up. Will have a bitter hatred of Korea and all things Korea after being burned many times by scummy bosses usually due to their cashflow problems.

Mr/Ms F-5
They have mastered the art of living in Korea so much they are planning on acquiring Korean citizenship. Constant tirades on the evilness of the west make these people a bore to be around not to mention the fact that you are never allowed to consume any western food in their presence means that Mr/Ms F-5 is probably only friends with the good netizens over at Naver.

Mr/Ms Bigshot
Teaching english is merely a way to gather up some captial to catpult them into the Boardroom with Donald Trump. Always got some new scheme on the go, the only time you ever see them is when they are travelling between privates.
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