Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Qinella]

Yesterday I got a new student in one of my classes. She was shy and had a look of fear on her face the entire period. I assumed she was nervous because her English ability is lower than the other students, and she was unable to perform when put on the spot. So at the end of class, I told her that she needn't be nervous, and tried to encourage her by saying she will improve quickly.

At this point, a girl in the class, who has been a student at this hagwon since before I started here, piped up by telling me the girl was nervous because of me. "Because of me?" I said. I'm so nice to the students, and do my best to make them feel comfortable. How could a student be nervous because of me? She explained to me, in Korean, that all the students are afraid of me because I'm a foreigner.

Now, this is a student who constantly abases me, always making diminutive remarks about me. It's not the typical joking way like it is with other students. I've often noted a look in her eye that indicates she's been raised to scorn and ridicule those who aren't Korean. She's a little racist in training, and she probably says all kinds of things about me to the new students to "warn" them about me. All of this went through my head as she was telling me that everyone fears me because of my appearance, and I lost my temper in what I consider a very mild way: I scowled at her and said, "Shut up." Then I left the classroom.

I do realize this wasn't the best reaction. A better way would've been to sit down and explain to them that there's nothing to fear, and I'm a human just like Koreans. However, things happen. People lose their temper and make mistakes. I did that.

Today, the director received a call from the new student's mother, demanding an explanation of why I said "shut up". She also asked if there isn't another foreign teacher her daughter can study with because of it.

It infuriates me that the new student's mother wants a new teacher because I told another student to shut up. Am I wrong to consider this to be racism? My director was upset at me for it, but I asked him to imagine if I were a Korean teacher in a public school, and how I'd react. I'd be saying a lot more than shut up, and I'd probably humiliate her in some way, and even strike her for how rude she was to me. Unsurprisingly, this thought had not occurred to him, and apparently not to the mother, either. This is not racism?

Hhhhh..... Anyway, the students and director think "shut up" is the worst possible thing to say to a student, yet I don't think it's a big deal. They make the stupid mistake of equating it with the Korean equivalent of 입닥쳐, which is a severe thing to say. I'm curious if this phrase is taboo at other places, or if it's just here.

Q.

[rothkowitz]

Simple solution.Get out of hagwons.

[Qinella]

That was helpful, thanks.

[i can do]

Actually, at the hogwan last year I was told there were a few things which, if said to a student, would probably get a call from parents - 1) cuss words 2) calling a student crazy and 3) telling them to shutup. One teacher told a student to shut up not knowing this and had to write a letter of apology and promise not to say it again because the parents got all riled up. So maybe it's like crazy, which doesn't sound so bad to us.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Yeah, I think it's hogwanism more than racism. Oh-mah is paying good money for the right to feel important, fret, and ****. However, even in a public school 'shut up' isn't a good response.

You're right, though, that the girl is probably a little racist in training; however, I'd be careful how much I assumed. You may be the first foreigner the new girl's ever spoken to. Besides looking, acting, smelling, and sounding so different, you're also forcing her to do a kind of active, on-the-spot learning she probably isn't used to or comfortable with. After more than a year being my public school's first foreigner I still have kids who swarm me and ones who are too afraid to talk to me.

Mod Edit: Edited for language.

[rothkowitz]

When you work at a hagwon the students effectively become your boss.If you get complaints,you're unlikely to be given a chance to defend yourself adequately and this can easily snowball,especially as hagwons hire and fire at will.

I wasn't being sarcastic.

[Hater Depot]

I treat my students as I treated my students back home. Nobody, but nobody, cusses or says shut up and it goes double for me.

[John Henry]

Yeah, you screwed up. Happens to everyone.

But you gotta realize Korea is a very, very racist place. It's institutionalized by big business here. I'm honestly surprised there aren't bathrooms or bus seats "for waegooks only". Just have to accept that Koreans think racism is A-OK! So, was it racist? Of course. Is it inappropriate for the child to treat you like that in this culture...no.

Don't let it get to you, I don't

[Return Jones]

I've been teaching kids, almost exclusively, here in Korea since 2001. I can feel your pain about a little racist in training. There are some kids that have an underlying derisive scorn toward you as a foreigner that just won't go away no matter how loving, nuturing, or kind you are. As a teacher and an adult you simply have to deal with it in the best way possible.

Two years ago I had a grade 5 boy who decided that I was an alien. He would often just blurt out "Teacher alien!" After a week or so of this, I decided to stoop to his level and in a joking and humourous tone said "You're ET!" From that day forward he was known as "ET Boy!" by everyone in the class. He became a minor celebrity and loved it. The worse thing he could say to his parents would be that his teacher calls him ET. How bad could that be?

Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say that you should try to spin it into an opportunity for humour and ice thawing rather than a time to lecture on multiculturalism.

I sadly must say you stepped over the line by saying "shut up." It's certainly not vulgar, but it's certainly not polite either. As a teacher of children you need to control your emotions. Never lose your temper. I haven't lost my temper in class in the past 2 years despite having taught some of the worst hellions the Korean public school system can throw at a teacher. At the same time, I almost always manage to keep my classes completely respectful and under control. Occasionally the kids come in pretty wired and it takes a few minutes of hands on heads before they will settle down enough to study. Not trying to toot my own horn, but you have to separate pride and emotion from your lessons. Kids act irrationally and impolitely all the time. You have to be prepared accordingly.

With the stone cold silent kids you just have to be patient and resilient. You'll be relieved that such kids are often like that with all classes and teachers. This culture breeds some strange sorts of "poor things" sometimes. Her silence is certainly not caused solely by you being a foreigner.

A simply but highly effective tip I learned from an experienced teacher years ago was that silence on the teacher's part speaks 10 times more loudly than a yell or a lecturing rant. If a student says something rude, pause for a second right in the middle of what you were saying and you will see how the kids pick up on the disprution to your speech cadence - even if they didn't understand a thing you were saying in English. Give the offending student a glance out of the corner of your eye as if to say "whatever..." and then resume what you were saying. Completely ignoring Korean students seems to encourage them a bit more. Briefly expressing unimpressed disinterest seems to convey the message of "You're pathetic" much better. You don't even have to say anything controversial either! Can you imagine a kids running home and saying "Mom, teacher looked at me!"?

Good luck!

[Hater Depot]

When I was in public school my most effective tool was to just stop talking and clasp my hands behind my back. The speed with which the whispers of "teacher angry!" would spread was usually quite impressive.

[Qinella]

[SuperHero]

[Qinella]

Yeah you guys are giving good advice, of course (except for rothkowitz). Honestly, none of it is new to me, but I think it'll be helpful if others read it. I don't say that to be haughty or defensive, but really I was just hoping others could talk about their opinions of saying "shut up" as to how severe it is, and also about my allegation that the new student's mother's request for a new teacher is an example of racism.


Btw, the incident yesterday happened as I was walking out of the class, students coming and going, so it wasn't in the middle of a lesson. That's part of the reason I reacted like that -- I was out of time and needed a succinct way to express to her that what she said was out of line. Obviously, it wasn't the best choice.

Q.

[laogaiguk]

[Qinella]