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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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JZer
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Location: South Korea
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 Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Hey, it's just like everything else life -- you get what you pay for. |
humm, usually the girls I treat the worst give me the most. They have to work to keep my attention. As opposed to when I treat a girl well and then she gives me crap. |
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Zulu
Joined: 28 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
| Zulu wrote: |
Is that for real?! I mean, c'mon, do Korean women really expect that you lavish them with money and gifts all the time? I'd have to just laugh at any Korean chick that demanded 'payment for services rendered'.  |
Hey, it's just like everything else life -- you get what you pay for. |
Hmmm. So for night fun it's "only 200,000 won per week"? It all starts to make sense now. (Forgive me, I jest and simply couldn't resist). |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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I remember seeing this rather sad for sale ad by a teacher. It kind of went
Broke up with my K-Girl... for sale:
- PS2
- Jewelry
- iRiver MP3 player
Guy sounded like a fkin' idiot led around by his rumpus baton but at least he was clever enough, somehow, to get all his stuff back. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Junior wrote: |
| Butterfly wrote: |
| For a former patriachy, Korea is amazing - I've never seek to many weak, pathetic, kiss-arse fawning men in one place. . |
Hold on. Korea is a patriarchy. Women are generally not treated as equals- in marriage or the workplace.
The only time K-men have to kiss ass is when they are dating. This is the window when K-women know they absolutely hold all the cards. "Korean woman want their boyfriends to be ..perfect" a K-girl told me a couple of weeks back. At the same time it strikes me that many K-women are sigularly untrustworthy. I know, because as friends, I know what they do and say behind their boyfriends backs.
Personally I'm tired of the ridiculous dating scene here. I refuse to give my money to whores, I refuse to give my money to duplicitous princesses., and Korea will will not get any more of my dignity.
Just to show that not evertthing is a financial transaction, I even teach a couple of private lessons for free. Voluntarily. I guess not all foreigners are "lazy, spoiled, drunken sexual predators after all".  |
I wonder where some of you guys are meeting these girls. I've taught some really sweet girls when I was at a univ., and they weren't high maintenance or demanding at all. Sure, I did have some high maintenance girls (especially the fashion design students!), but I was impressed by how a lot of them seemed very down-to-earth and wholesome. Anyway, they also weren't the types to hang out at bars and nightclubs, and if that's where you guys are meeting a lot of these high maintenance types (just assuming), you might want to look elsewhere.... |
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europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Location: Seoul, Korea
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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| periwinkle wrote: |
| you might want to look elsewhere.... |
Easy to say....where? |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:24 am Post subject: |
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| europe2seoul wrote: |
| periwinkle wrote: |
| you might want to look elsewhere.... |
Easy to say....where? |
Churches have a lot of social functions; health clubs (a lot of health clubs offer dance classes, and there is ALWAYS a shortage of men in those classes- at my gym, there are 2 or 3 men with at least 10 women, and I'd figure most of the women are single. I met a Korean woman in a dance class at the Shinsegae cultural center, and we became really good friends)- also with health clubs, there are other things besides dance classes- my gym has a squash league, for example; if you aren't into exercise, there are cultural centers at the big dept. stores, and you are bound to find something that interests you- a cooking class, painting, etc. The YMCA is cheaper if you don't want to go to the cultural centers in the dept. stores.
There are TONS of English study groups online (who of course just love, love, love to have foreigners drop in!), or other "cafes" on Naver, Daum, etc.- my exboyfriend was a member of a snowboarding club through Naver, and he always had people to go with, share rides with, etc. I know another guy that is a member of a wine affectionado club through one of those sites, and they meet every Friday in a different location around Seoul for dinner and a wine-tasting beforehand. He's also the member of a rollerblading club that gets together on the weekends in different locations.
You could have a Korean friend or co-worker help you find a club online. Better yet if he can contact the club and see if there's some who can speak English, and if not, there's usually someone who can at least speak broken English if your Korean isn't very good.
There are also charities you can get involved in- I've interviewed a lot of girls at my job who've said they volunteered at orphanages; one girl even taught English to North Koreans at a help center for North Koreans.
Anyway, these are some of the things my Korean friend does to meet girls- he doesn't really drink, and he really wants to find a girlfriend (a wife, actually!) so he puts himself out there by joining tons of clubs- sounds like fun, too- I almost went with one of his clubs on a rafting trip. ^^ |
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StAxX SOuL
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:27 am Post subject: |
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| JZer wrote: |
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| but her exterior has already filtered out the males who aren't alphas... |
Or maybe the mothers of some alpha males taught their sons good manners, not to be a di c k to a lady.
Furthermore, I think some studies have shown that alpha males on average do not really like to marry alpha females. They are used to being in control and just want to relax at home. Sometimes if the female is also successful, the alpha male feels he always has to compete with her. |
Ah... mama's boys who haven't quite figured out how the world works yet... seriously, if you ever need advice on women, the last person you would go to is a woman, especially your mother... experience should tell you that women don't quite know how they want to be treated, they get what they're asking for and end up wanting something else...
Being an alpha male is just being sure of what you want and striving for it... you don't bend over backwards to cater for the needs of others, nor do you act like such a jerk that you expect everyone else to bend over backwards to cater for your needs... as for your quoted study, the mistake you're making is that whereas the characteristics associated with being an alpha male are well defined, there isn't really a female equivalent... is it the career woman, or the beautiful, intelligent woman with her own opinions, albeit with a lesser career? Want some interesting reading on the topic?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/women/story/0,3604,1046938,00.html |
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stevieg4ever
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Location: London, England
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:33 am Post subject: |
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its great having a hottie on one's shoulder no doubt (we all like a bit of fun) but a lot of these girls are parasitic neanderthals who cant support themselves and have no experience or perspective in life aside from shopping and looking at their plastic butts in the mirror.
Also I think a lot of these women are reducing the whole gender equality thing back to the stone ages as a lot of girls in Korea simply arent like this and want to get ahead. Sometimes i felt / feel that Korea is becoming a more equal society between the sexes however when i read threads like this ie k girl demands this demands that it just shows otherwise i guess...
but back to rr post 'pocket money' |
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Junior
Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:07 am Post subject: |
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In the begginning I met women through doing privates (friends of friends etc)- but I can't be bothered doing them anymore. Also I did the whole Ublove thing which was certainly productive. However the key is to meet women in your hometown so that you don't have to travel. Sure you can hook up in Itaewon or Hongdae but thats almost a 2 hr trip for me and I just can't be bothered at the end of the day. The local expat bar is good sometimes but often too many wayguks and too few K-women. Clubs are good but i haven't done much with that as many of them are far to travel once again. The language exchange thing is good too, but English is usually the last thing you want to do on a weekend. It then comes down to the inevitable- shock- dating coworkers (a hagwon with 12 K-women) which I did for a bit with stressful results. Better not to go there, ultimately.
Periwinkle-Your friend doing the rounds of numerous clubs is certainly motivated but I usually find the very fact you're looking for someone is quickly picked up on by women and it virtually garuantees failure. No, just go about your life. The best women I've had here have been purely chance encounters- either someone has sent a note wanting to be introduced to me, or they have mentioned out of the blue they know someone who I should meet.
If after all that you haven't met a special match, or the few times you have it has ended due to ridiculously unfair cultural confusions etc.. then you tend to get jaded and lose interest. thus, i'm in a chilled phase now where K-women are fairly predictable to me, and i can't be bothered making much effort. i could have a few that I'm not really hot for but theres not much point in that. I might even go back to being the slave of a hottie who owns me, just so I can have feelings again. (Somehow more interesting than being in control of women you feel nothing much for.) They do tend to marry nice guys they can control,anyhow (although secretly lust after the bad boys I suppose). |
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JZer
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:24 am Post subject: |
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| (Somehow more interesting than being in control of women you feel nothing much for.) |
I GUESS IT DEPENDS WHAT YOU WANT.
Junior broke it down nicely, you can either be controled or control someone. There are only two types of relationships. Some or closer to being equal than others. |
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Junior
Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:41 am Post subject: |
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| JZer wrote: |
I GUESS IT DEPENDS WHAT YOU WANT. |
good question:..I guess I want a woman who allows me to have feelings for her, without her leaving.
Typically, as soon as a woman gets the slightest sniff that a guy actually really wants her, she either dissapears, or puts him through hell.Thus, i've tended to end up with women I'm not really into but who are emotionally attached to me. maybe thats the only sustainable option, who knows. |
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Homer
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:57 am Post subject: |
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Junior...how little you understand the way Korean women operate here... 
If you think that they are just subservient in a relationship perhaps you should ask a few married guys about that...
Different method and ways of experessing themselves (i.e. not as publicly as western women for example) but they get their points across and are far from subservient... |
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Junior
Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:26 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Homer"]
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| If you think that they are just subservient in a relationship perhaps you should ask a few married guys about that... |
Where did I say they were subservient? In most of the marriages I've seen here, the Korean wife has held most of the power over her foreign spouse. Being in her country is only the most obvious factor, the other is that westerners are far more likely to view it as a partnership on equal terms.
In the all-korean marriages I've seen, the wife is far more likely to assume a lower position. I wouldn't say subservience- but just defers to the guy much more. Always quieter and "knows her place".
Just an impression- |
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Homer
Guest
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:36 am Post subject: |
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| In the all-korean marriages I've seen, the wife is far more likely to assume a lower position. I wouldn't say subservience- but just defers to the guy much more. Always quieter and "knows her place". |
This where the concept of family harmony and face come in to play Junior. What you see on the outside is not always representative of what happens behind closed doors. The quiet woman you see with her husband in public is not taking second place at home when they are amongst themselves (family)...there is often a big difference. |
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Butterfly
Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: Kuwait
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 5:07 am Post subject: |
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| StAxX SOuL wrote: |
I�ll give you an honest reply since sarcasm has overtaken any sense of� well, anything�
It�s important to understand that women are the same the world over. |
Nah they aren't, I don't agree with you skip.
I have now lived and worked in three different countries, and if you are to include my own that's four. In the other three, women are open to men they like, period. But there is generally something very weird about an awful lot of Korean women, who seem so consistently repelled by their own desires, honestly, I've never seen sexual hang ups like it. |
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