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Samantha

Joined: 20 Jul 2006 Location: Jinan-dong Hwaseong
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:24 pm Post subject: just curious... |
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I have been wandering through the forums for a while now and I have noticed that there are a lot of expat guys that date and/or marry a lot Korean girls. I don't have a problem with this, I figure where you find love, companionship, friendship or sex more power to you.
What I am curious about is that it's always Expat men wanting ideas about how to romance Korean women or complaining about Korean women. Are there any Expat women dating/married to Korean men? Do Expat men and women actually date each other? Is it the novelty of dating a native of the country the reason why the men are dating Korean women? Is it a desire to immerse themselves in the culture (no pun or double entendre intended)?
Just wondering...feel free to respond or not...this is just somethng that has been bubbling through my brain. |
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seoulsucker

Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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For me, it is simply a matter of numbers and exposure. 95% of the females I encounter on a daily basis are Korean. With greater numbers, there was a greater chance of finding a girl that I could get along with. I dated both western and Korean women for a while, but eventually made a connection with a Korean girl. |
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doggyji

Joined: 21 Feb 2006 Location: Toronto - Hamilton - Vineland - St. Catherines
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:39 pm Post subject: Re: just curious... |
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Samantha wrote: |
What I am curious about is that it's always Expat men wanting ideas about how to romance Korean women or complaining about Korean women. Are there any Expat women dating/married to Korean men? Do Expat men and women actually date each other? Is it the novelty of dating a native of the country the reason why the men are dating Korean women? Is it a desire to immerse themselves in the culture (no pun or double entendre intended)? |
From what I have seen, most expat Koreans date/marry each other. I guess the gender ratio of oversea Koreans is close to unity. But as for the English-speaking expats in Korea or Asia in general, it looks the number of men overwhelms that of women. Maybe this is one thing to begin with among many other factors. |
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JongnoGuru

Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:43 pm Post subject: Re: just curious... |
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First, I recommend you change your thread title to something a bit more explanatory and helpful. Like, "What's up with that?"
Samantha wrote: |
I have been wandering through the forums for a while now and I have noticed that there are a lot of expat guys that date and/or marry a lot Korean girls. |
I've noticed that as well.
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I don't have a problem with this, |
C'mon, that's no way to get this thread rolling.
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I figure where you find love, companionship, friendship or sex more power to you. |
It's that we have found _more_ love, companionship, friendship and sex in Korea. And that makes us more powerful. Than anyone.
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What I am curious about is that it's always Expat men wanting ideas about how to romance Korean women or complaining about Korean women. Are there any Expat women dating/married to Korean men? |
Some posters here like to perpetuate that urban legend. But no. There's not.
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Do Expat men and women actually date each other? |
What, you mean like gay-people foreigners and lesbian-people foreigners? See "Freakiest Waygook Contest" thread.
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Is it the novelty of dating a native of the country the reason why the men are dating Korean women? |
After more than a decade, there ain't no mo' novelty value no mo'. To me Belgian and Mexican women are the pinnacle of exotic.
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Is it a desire to immerse themselves in the culture (no pun or double entendre intended)? |
What pun or double entendre were you thinking of? "immerse"?  |
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billybrobby

Joined: 09 Dec 2004
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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I see a lot of expat/expat couples. Yeah, there's a lot of dudes dating Korean girls, but not to the point where dating foreign girls is anything like a rarity.
There are some expat women married to Korean men on this board.
Everybody knows one thing: expat man/korean woman relationships far outnumber the expat woman/korean man relationships. It's a very thorny issue as to why this is, and I think it creates a lot of uncomfortable feelings all around.
Here is my grand theory as to why it is. I think it comes down to two things:
One is that Koreans come off as feminine according to the western standard of femininity. Physically they're smaller, they're not furry, they've got nice hair. Culturally, they often act very shy and coy when interacting with opposite sex and when interacting with foreigners. All of this can seem charming to a westerner in a woman but kind of lame in a man. I know this all sounds very chauvinist but I'm talking about people's perceptions. Also, Korea is still a very male-dominated society and it has produced a model of femininity that resonates with westerners while it has not produced a model of masculinity that similarly resonates. Korea doesn't have the American cowboy aggressive sort of masculinity. It's a more staid, more hardworking and ambitious model. Korean females, however, are in a general way very appearance oriented and act very cutesy and that somehow appeals to both Korean and western men. Anyways, that's my grand theory. Probably next month I'll have a different one.
The second thing is that men seem willing to overlook the language barrier more than women. Maybe you could say men are more shallow. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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billybrobby wrote: |
I see a lot of expat/expat couples. Yeah, there's a lot of dudes dating Korean girls, but not to the point where dating foreign girls is anything like a rarity.
There are some expat women married to Korean men on this board.
Everybody knows one thing: expat man/korean woman relationships far outnumber the expat woman/korean man relationships. It's a very thorny issue as to why this is, and I think it creates a lot of uncomfortable feelings all around.
Here is my grand theory as to why it is. I think it comes down to two things:
One is that Koreans come off as feminine according to the western standard of femininity. Physically they're smaller, they're not furry, they've got nice hair. Culturally, they often act very shy and coy when interacting with opposite sex and when interacting with foreigners. All of this can seem charming to a westerner in a woman but kind of lame in a man. I know this all sounds very chauvinist but I'm talking about people's perceptions.
The second thing is that men seem willing to overlook the language barrier more than women. Maybe you could say men are more shallow. |
You don't know any western girls that shave? As for Korean girls, I've heard legendary stories- heard some people recommending machetes to cut through all that underbrush. Heh-they've got nice hair. Sure they do, until they hit 30 and get an ajumma perm, color it all sorts of unnatural shades, or fry it with a perm. Anyway, I wouldn't say they have the hair market cornered... |
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Boodleheimer

Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Location: working undercover for the Man
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 10:06 pm Post subject: Re: just curious... |
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Samantha wrote: |
Are there any Expat women dating/married to Korean men? |
tzechuk. ask her! |
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Milwaukiedave
Joined: 02 Oct 2004 Location: Goseong
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Actually there are quite a few western woman on this forum married to a Korean man. It's becoming a lot more common (and to some extent it is more accepted by Koreans then the reverse).
However, the majority of Korean/foreigner marriages are between a Korean woman and foreign man. I married a Korean woman earlier this year and her family is very accepting of me. |
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billybrobby

Joined: 09 Dec 2004
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:58 am Post subject: |
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periwinkle wrote: |
billybrobby wrote: |
I see a lot of expat/expat couples. Yeah, there's a lot of dudes dating Korean girls, but not to the point where dating foreign girls is anything like a rarity.
There are some expat women married to Korean men on this board.
Everybody knows one thing: expat man/korean woman relationships far outnumber the expat woman/korean man relationships. It's a very thorny issue as to why this is, and I think it creates a lot of uncomfortable feelings all around.
Here is my grand theory as to why it is. I think it comes down to two things:
One is that Koreans come off as feminine according to the western standard of femininity. Physically they're smaller, they're not furry, they've got nice hair. Culturally, they often act very shy and coy when interacting with opposite sex and when interacting with foreigners. All of this can seem charming to a westerner in a woman but kind of lame in a man. I know this all sounds very chauvinist but I'm talking about people's perceptions.
The second thing is that men seem willing to overlook the language barrier more than women. Maybe you could say men are more shallow. |
You don't know any western girls that shave? As for Korean girls, I've heard legendary stories- heard some people recommending machetes to cut through all that underbrush. Heh-they've got nice hair. Sure they do, until they hit 30 and get an ajumma perm, color it all sorts of unnatural shades, or fry it with a perm. Anyway, I wouldn't say they have the hair market cornered... |
I was really talking about the men not having hair on their arms and chest. It's one of those things that makes the seem kind of girlish.
Regarding the underbrush, I like the natural look (up to a point though). When it's shaved down there's always a bunch of ingrown hairs and stubble and I just think it looks crude. The thing about asians is their pubes are straight and kinky instead of curly. So it poofs out like Don King's hair. |
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 5:35 am Post subject: Re: just curious... |
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Samantha wrote: |
Are there any Expat women dating/married to Korean men? |
No.  |
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JongnoGuru

Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 5:47 am Post subject: |
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Hey, stop it with those rolly eyes. I set her straight about that already. C'mon, she's still new here. |
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Woland
Joined: 10 May 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:00 am Post subject: |
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I met my ex-wife, a Canadian, here, dated her here, and eventually married her after moving to Turkey. It was all good except the marriage part.
Dodgy Barnett, you're warned! |
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dulouz
Joined: 04 Feb 2003 Location: Uranus
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:01 am Post subject: |
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This is likely the smartest thing I've read here in a long time.
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One is that Koreans come off as feminine according to the western standard of femininity. Physically they're smaller, they're not furry, they've got nice hair. Culturally, they often act very shy and coy when interacting with opposite sex and when interacting with foreigners. All of this can seem charming to a westerner in a woman but kind of lame in a man. I know this all sounds very chauvinist but I'm talking about people's perceptions. Also, Korea is still a very male-dominated society and it has produced a model of femininity that resonates with westerners while it has not produced a model of masculinity that similarly resonates. Korea doesn't have the American cowboy aggressive sort of masculinity. It's a more staid, more hardworking and ambitious model. Korean females, however, are in a general way very appearance oriented and act very cutesy and that somehow appeals to both Korean and western men. Anyways, that's my grand theory. Probably next month I'll have a different one.
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Corporal

Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:27 am Post subject: |
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JongnoGuru wrote: |
C'mon, she's still new here. |
What's billybrobby's excuse then? |
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Swiss James

Joined: 26 Nov 2003 Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:32 am Post subject: |
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Corporal wrote: |
JongnoGuru wrote: |
C'mon, she's still new here. |
What's billybrobby's excuse then? |
"She told me she was 19" |
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