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Overcoming the Isolation -How did you do it?
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jajdude



Joined: 18 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:49 am    Post subject: Overcoming the Isolation -How did you do it? Reply with quote

Make friends, get involved in something, good ideas. But sometimes the feeling is strong as a "waygook" in this strange country. How have you managed to cope with feelings of isolation and all that jazz (or blues) that goes with it?
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the wrangler



Joined: 24 Oct 2003
Location: the next flight to korea to find mankind

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For me, those feelings hit home after about a couple of months. Whenever I just didn't feel like meeting anyone including my fellow teachers I often retreated to a cinema and watched movies alone. Especially the hollywood ones. With the lights off I would just imagine I was BACK home and it would just help the days go by faster. Kangnam(exit 7) did it for me.

I think sometimes everyone here just needs to spend time alone and just reflect... Neutral

Give that a go, Jajdude-if all else fails then think about the money.

Of course, in my case I only taught in Korea one year at a time.
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anae



Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always remembered what a woman I met at a TESOL course said about her experience teaching in rural China, "The struggle with loneliness and isolation will make you a stronger person." She was the only foreigner in her community and said that at one point she was on her knees crying with frustration and loneliness, but she persevered. By the end of her term, she had learned so much Mandarin that she was hired by the Chinese gov't to teach it in a kindergarten to students who spoke other dialects at home.

I never experienced that sort of situation, but I tried to get in touch with my own inner self during those first six months before I developed much of a social circle. I treated myself well. I ate want I wanted and when I wanted it. I read all of those books that I never got time to read while doing my undergrad. I planned adventures for myself and let the spontaneous happen.

I never again met as many interesting people or had such fantastic things happen to me as when I was on a solo trip to the coast, a cafe, the local market, or a bath house. I now miss those times. Aging Korean rock stars and their managers just don't walk up to me and ask me to dinner now that I have a husband in tow. Oh well! They still make for pretty good stories.
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the wrangler



Joined: 24 Oct 2003
Location: the next flight to korea to find mankind

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

anae wrote:
Aging Korean rock stars and their managers just don't walk up to me and ask me to dinner now that I have a husband in tow. Oh well! They still make for pretty good stories.


Hmm, interesting. Why don't you elaborate on these stories and entertain us. Wink
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Son Deureo!



Joined: 30 Apr 2003

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 4:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never really felt particularly isolated here. It's so easy to make friends with other waygooks and English-speaking Koreans that I've never really been at a loss for a social life here. Plus while teaching you're constantly surrounded by the kids.
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The evil penguin



Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Develop a multiple personality disorder.

It helped me to deal with my loneliness.

Helped me too.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me.

And me also.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My first three months I was the lone waygook in my area. I'm a really social person and I found the lack of people who could speak english really frustrating (esp. as I had no TV). I started writing a journal, reading books, spending a lot of time on the internet. etc.

I agree the movies are great place to escape to. Also I think if your alone your more likely to go off and do things where as if you have an instant circle of friends when you get here (if you work at a place or area with a lot of waygooks) and end up bar hopping in hongdae or itaewon if seoul based.

CLG
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desultude



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The answer is right before your eyes- why do you think some of us spend too much time here at Daves?
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TheUrbanMyth



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How I dealt with isolation?


I'd go to Seoul and met other foreigners. And it was then when I remembered WHY I liked working in a place where there weren't any other foreigners.
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Butterfly



Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: Kuwait

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you have to make a lot of effort and just be Mr. Hello, give out your business card to everyone, call people when they give you theirs. I think back home we are sometimes blase about making friends because we have school and uni friends and the like, but here they are not around of course, so we have to be a bit humble and open to new people and things. Be open and friendly to everyone.

Get networking.
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kangnamdragon



Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Kangnam, Seoul, Korea

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Make Korean Friends!!! I feel more isolated when I visit the States as most of my friends are here now.

Be happy we have the internet. When I first came to Korea, I did not have the internet or cable t.v.

and I used to teach on Saturdays and walk to work in the snow uphill bothways.....
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rapier



Joined: 16 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was the only waygook at my hakwon for 10 months. it certainly does make you a stronger and more self- knowledgeable person. look at it as an opportunity to get in touch with yourself.
I also went to Itaewon every weekend.
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

rRapier,
I realise everyone is different but in general, when I started working with waygooks i spent more time in bars. I'm about to be on my lonesom again so I'll get back to you on whether it's just a newbie in korea thing or not.
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Mr. Pink



Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: China

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

desultude wrote:
The answer is right before your eyes- why do you think some of us spend too much time here at Daves?


Good point. I should go do something instead of wasting time here...just at this time of the day it is either work, or relax. I should get one of those tv cards for my computer - that might help!
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rapier



Joined: 16 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually it depends what phase you're in... I work with otherwaegooks now but don't really want to socialise much on the weekends nowadays. I'm lucky enough to have an absorbing hobby- wildlife & the outdoors, birdwatching- which keeps me occupied most weekends. i'm over my "drunken westerner chasing tail" phase....
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