Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ilsanman]

I am curious, as I may have to do it in the near future.

What language did you speak to them? Whatw as their reaction?

I expect to have to speak Korean. I'd better brush up on my honourifics.

[Zyzyfer]

ew dear god no

I've heard enough conservative talk to confirm that I need to wait a long, long while for this sort of business.

[tokki]

Did it about 3 months into the relationship. They are great. Havent looked back since.

[Saxiif]

Five and a half months of dating if gf and no parents...

Is this long normal?

[shawner88]

Good question. Of all the girls I dated, I met one's parents. They were really nice. I wish I stayed with her, actually. They were also loaded. I couold have had anything. I passed it by because I didn't feel I loved her.

[Ghostinthemachine]

I did!

The second day of the visit they asked me if I knew any nice girls I could introduce him to

Up till then I hadn't realised that they didn't know.....the first night we had slept together in his bed even tho' there was a guest bedroom available.

I think by the end of the visit tho' the penny had dropped. I haven't been invited back again since.

[Juggertha]

I met my girls parents about 4 months in. Probably would have been sooner but they were in the US. They have been more than cool with me. Actually i'm quite embarrassed at times because of their generocity.

I speak to them in both Korean and English.. basically Konglish.

BUT I asked for her hand in marriage in Korean.

[Derrek]

[The Lemon]

The first meeting was in Canada, a few days before the wedding. The Korean contingent flew in for the wedding and the two families mixed very easily. My parents-in-law have been great to me.

[Ilsanman]

Father in Law? I'm not married!! Just dating for over 2 months. I asked her the other day if she ever told her parents or friends about me. She said yes, and her parents want to meet me sometime in the future.

Thanks for your replies. It sets me at ease a bit.

I never know how to refer to them. So many levels of politeness, so many titles, no consistency. I guess (fill in family name here) nim, or sun saeng nim. It's a safe bet.

[Toby]

My father-in-law-to-be died 3 years ago, so I had to run the marriage thing by the eldest brother-in-law-to-be and the mother-in-law to be together.

My mother-in-law speaks no english which is wonderful. No fighting with the in-law!! She consented and then changed her mind because I didn't have a house in my name. A free house evidently wasn't good enough. This she did after she had insisted that my fiance came to England for christams and meet my family. This she did and was immeadiately accepted by my family.

I have met the mother-in-law again and she has now changed her mind about the marriage as I persuaded her that it is better NOT to get a huge loan to pay for a house when you can save whilst living in a school house. We ended up discussing the merits of buying a live-in / walk-in fridge, with her insisting that this is the way forward in life. I have since compromised and bought a large fridge, but not too large. It only has beer and Thai whiskey in it anyway.

My advice. Be respectful. Smile nicely. Say all the food is delicious in the in-laws cooked it. Try and talk a little Korean if you can. It is always a talking point - and usually makes them laugh. You know what they say about making your mother-in-law laugh? You are 90% of the way into her underwear. Sorry. That was women. Not mother-in-laws. Well. Poses a thought though. Promise you will study more Korean. Find out from your partner what they like and take them a gift. Or two. Suggest taking them out for dinner and paying, showing your natural flair and ability to order food and buy soju for your father-in-law. NEVER DRINK MORE THAN ANY OF THEM ON YOUR FIRST MEETING.

Above all else - good luck.

[jaebea]

I'll chip in on this with some ways a girl would impress my parents (since they're Korean and all that..). I guess it's not a rule of thumb, as I think my parents are ridiculously liberal for Koreans of their age, and really, you'd have to arse something up pretty seriously to get on their bad side.

Let's set the scene. A lunch time meal at the family house, since dinners are a little high-pressure for first time meets. And you can always beg off early with the excuse of a later appointment if something goes wrong.

For conversation, try to mix it up with a bit of English and a bit of Korean. They're not going to hold it against you if your Korean isn't up to scratch, but they'd really appreciate a little bit to show you've at least tried. Avoid the usual taboo topics, but they'll drill you with the usual "what do you do, what do your parents do, how did you meet" etc etc. Prepare answers, ask significant other what to expect so you're not caught off guard. :)

Confidence mixed with a little respect, and that'll get you over the line no worries.

Oh, and ask significant other about gifts. The usual tray of fruit works, but perhaps something a little more personal, such as a nice bottle of spirits for the dad and some fragrance or such for the mum would be a smooth touch.

In any case, good luck.

jae.

[Juggertha]

[Mr. Pink]

[Homer]

Met them after a month of dating.

No worries. It went pretty well.

Now we are family and have a close relationship.