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nautilus

Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:16 am Post subject: Future headlines in Korea. |
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(hopefully )
Jan 1 2020 the Korea herald
75% of KOREANS FLUENT IN ENGLISH
"New figures show that most of the population speaks English well and enjoy good relations with foreigners.
Old stereotypes such as "All foreigners have AIDS" are now a joke of the past, and Koreans now understand foreigners much better because we can actually talk to eachother. With this cultural exchange of information, korea has adopted many western habits. People wait patiently in line and qeue for everything nowadays: only 10 years ago this was unheard of.
Today we interview one grey haired foreigner about how life was like fore the first foreigners to live in korea. " Koreans used to avoid sitting next to me on the subway' says mike, a 50 yr old expat. Nowadays they see me as no different from themselves." |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:46 am Post subject: |
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Hopefully they'll avoid this headline:
50% of Korean adults obese |
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shetan

Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Location: In front of my PC.
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:11 pm Post subject: |
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Both SK and Japan Lay claim to Dodko..... |
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Newbie

Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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November 28, 2020
"KOREA NOT THE ONLY COUNTRY WITH 4 SEASONS!" |
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okokok

Joined: 27 Aug 2006
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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Fan Death Claims Another Victim
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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Farmers Riot Again This Week Over US Request To Open The Rice Market
Another Foreigner Crime Wave: Expats Not Paying Their Parking Tickets |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006 Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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"Korean Hakwon Owners Demand Wage Protection for Foreign ESL Teachers."[/b] |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006 Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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Korean Military Employs, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell.", Strategy to Protect Human Rights. |
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JongnoGuru

Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:59 pm Post subject: |
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Manhunt Closes in On Escaped Talking Waegook
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itaewonguy

Joined: 25 Mar 2003
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:01 am Post subject: |
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NO FOREIGNERS ban still in effect!
david green, an American teacher who has been here since the hakwon ban took effect 12 years ago, has been doing illegal teaching ever since and has now been caught by local police, David looks at a 50million won fine and/or 10 years in prison..
david says" I was just doing gods work"
it is believed that David has aids! and is part an under ground illegal teaching network of lifers from an ESL board called DAVESESL which is reported to be their gathering place!
further investigation is underway! |
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denistron
Joined: 21 Oct 2006 Location: Busan
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:04 am Post subject: |
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News in the year 3000: Scooters Banned From Sidewalks
dang... |
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nautilus

Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:40 am Post subject: |
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Foreigners can eat hot and spicy food
undercover reporter
An investigation into the eating habits of foreigners has shown that not only do they typically enjoy hot food, but they eat spicier food than most Koreans. research has revealed that Chinese curries and takeaways are the most popular foods in countries such as Britain. A foreigner was seen eating a chilli without flinching, before deftly picking up another with chopsticks. Scientists have shown it only takes about an hour for someone to learn how to uses chopsticks correctly, wether they are korean or not.
We interviewed "nautilus", a foreigner. "i used to run an Indian restaurant and eat spicy food every day. Most of it far spicier than ramyeon. I have to ask for extra sauce in korea because the food is jusat too bland for my tastebuds". |
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JongnoGuru

Joined: 25 May 2004 Location: peeing on your doorstep
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:54 am Post subject: |
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2020
Gov't Mulls Internet-usable IDs for Mixed Offspring,
Similar Scheme for Foreign Investors Still Under Consideration |
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Col.Brandon

Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:22 am Post subject: |
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Government Moves to Ban Adjosshis.
The government has moved to implement a Korea-wide ban on adjosshis after extensive research proved that they have had a worse effect on the nation than 36 years of Japanese colonization.
A thorough cost-benefit analysis of Korean males over the age of 30 by the treasury department has revealed that their net value to the nation is negative, and that their key skill-sets of drinking, smoking, wh0re-mongering and hocking up phlegm do little to compensate for such things as national treasures being destroyed due to the careless disposal of cigarette butts, the loss of life and limb due to criminally negligent driving, and the total absence of any actual productivity in the workplace.
The government is now in the process of implementing a nationwide recycling program, and the first project to benefit will be a scheme which aims to use surplus adjosshis as landfill for a new causeway to Dok-do. |
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Newbie

Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:27 am Post subject: |
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Man, these are great.
Kudos to Nautilus and Col. Brandon |
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