Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Corporal]

I'm the first to admit there aren't too many things I like about living in the land of K, but a few just occurred to me, and I thought I would share. (No makkoli was consumed during or previous to the creation of this post)


10. I can say pretty much anything in irritation or anger and the Koreans around me just laugh nervously.

9. I can generally feign ignorance of any minor Korean customs, procedures, and routines that cramp my style (e.g. picking a number when at the bank or hospital and waiting till it's dinged), and get away with it.

8. I can get extra because I'm cute. Or, because my baby's cute.

7. I can be short a few thousand won on something and the cashier just tells me to pay it tomorrow or whenever I get a chance because it's not like she's going to forget where I live.

6. I can smile at someone and say, "If you don't stop staring at me, I'm gonna come over there and rip your tongue out and make you eat it", and be reasonably sure they have no clue what I'm saying.

5. Nobody expects me to cake on the makeup, and nobody dares to criticize me for going without, even if they wanted to.

4. If I feel the need, I can spit on the sidewalk or burp in public because hey, everyone else is doing it.

3. I can go to church and display utter boredom, yawn, doodle, read something etc. during the sermon and no one thinks the worse of me because after all I can't be expected to follow much of the pastor's message when it's in hangukmal.

2. I can make kids on the street jump when they do the usual "look, a foreigner" routine and I reply in Korean "so what?"

1. I can take pounds upon pounds of coins to the bank and expect them to be rolled even on a not-rolling day (yes, there are official rolling days and not rolling days, at least at the bank I go to) because I am a foreigner and the clerks are all too shy to attempt to tell me that they can't actually do it and I'll have to come back tomorrow. This pleases me to NO end.

[kiwioutofthenest]

hmm dunno if i will make ten but here goes

1. i will never run out of socks thanks to teachers day and 'service' whenever i am brave enough to venture into a store

2. I can ride my motorbike with no helmet and when the police do try to pull me over i just act like i'm deaf or wave back politley

3. the price of fruit and vege is soo extortionate that i have a valid reason to have a crap diet

4. I get felt up on a weekly basis, and if im lucky a finger up me arse!

5. i can't waste all my money on shopping as i don't like anything here or it dosn't fit or i find it in the trash.

6. i can get away with dumping my rubbish anytime i like and in an unofficial bag cause im a dumb wagook

7. i can perve at myself in a mirror or check myself out in a window and it is perceived as a normal thing to do.

8. a bottle of gin costs 8000 won

9. a bottle of vodka costs 6000 won

10. saving the best for last...i get paid decent money to talk crap 16 hours a week

[Seoultrader]

1-10: I'm only half Korean/monkey.

[Pyongshin Sangja]

1. I'm not Nigerian. Well, part of me is.

2. I can drink all of you under the table. Except Kate.

3. I can show up for work loaded. And my boss will be too.

4. BING..........something

5. I can suplex eight year old Korean kids.

6. I get called kyosunim. And all sorts of other swear words.

7. I still haven't eaten dog. But I can eat as much chinchilla as I like.

8. Gag Concert is even better straight.

9. Illiterate Yanks will catch a bullet for me if fatty and the boys invade.

10. Free DDT!

[posco's trumpet]

[Son Deureo!]

[Butterfly]

1. I learn a lot from the people I teach.

2. People are really nice to me.

3. I save 500 pounds a month.

4. My job is easy, and I can make lots of extra money doing really easy stuff for people.

5. Long weekends in Tokyo, Hong Kong etc.

6. Really big apartment.

7. Skiing is cheap and accessible.

8. Hongdae.

9. Cheap clothes shopping and really good too.

10. Lots and lots of lovely, soft-skinned and pretty women, everywhere.


I love my life, I love it.

[kimcheeking]

[justaskdan]

[1] I get free rent and pay my bills twice a year.

[2] Ciggerettes are 2 dollars a pack. A wopping 3.50 for the good Dunhill Top Leaf when I can find them.

[3] Parents pay me huge cash to babysit their kids (extras).

[4] I drive like an idiot and be complimented for doing it so well.

[5] The police drive around with their lights on and no usch thing as a ghost car.

[6] My boss lets me run my Hagwon cause I am the only waygook left.

[7] I can fly to anyone of thirty different countires for holidays in under five hour.

[8] Parents give me even more money twice a year, Teachers day and Chusuk.

[9] A pretty girl will bring me coffee anytime I want it for the same price as a small drip in starbucks.

[10] I got a credit card here, which is an impossibility for me at home due to accounting error on my student loan. I didn't a count on paying it back.

[jaderedux]

[HardyandTiny]

1. very little street crime

2. no guns

3. not many drugs

4. damn cheap medical expense!

5. I can go through a red light, or make an illegal U-turn sometimes and nobody gives a rat's ass.

6. quick food service

7. cheap cable TV

8. I can't understand anything anyone says!

9. Sexy-good

10. "You must care your weight"...haha... the whole mixed up English thing

[William Beckerson]

[Moldy Rutabaga]

10. Cheap electronics
9. Cheap clothing
8. Passive-aggressive cursing of the bus driver, who can't understand me
7. Feigning stupidity when you jaywalk or use the wrong "lineup", as few as they are
6. Getting rid of Korean Jehovah's Witnesses by pretending to only know Spanish
5. Hardy&Tiny's sexy avatar picture
4. Busan beaches, during the three days a year it isn't raining
3. Learning to appreciate every other country I've lived in
2. Not being a financial pariah at the bank
1. Being able to have a smoke in a bar without helicopters and attack dogs swarming in on me

Ken:>

[justaskdan]

HardyandTiny wrote

[Saxiif]

10. people being awed by my leg hair
9. galbi
8. DVD bangs
7. high speed internet
6. the cute buddhist temples you find in the middle of nowhere when you go hiking
5. being able to pay off the goddam $20,000 of student loans
4. aloewei
3. daenjang
2. being able to afford to drink in bars
1. my gf