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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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| How do you deal with the stares? |
| Do nothing |
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54% |
[ 57 ] |
| Stare back |
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22% |
[ 23 ] |
| Stare back and make a silly face |
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6% |
[ 7 ] |
| Say something in English |
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7% |
[ 8 ] |
| Say something in Korean |
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8% |
[ 9 ] |
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| Total Votes : 104 |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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 Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| Stalin84 wrote: |
Like many in this thread, I don't really understand why Koreans stare so much. Most of them have seen foreign looking people every day in their lives, whether it be on TV or in real life (those who live in Seoul). Yet they still persist like there is no tomorrow.
If you ask Koreans why they do this they'll tell you that it's because they're not used to seeing foreigners. That's total BS. I wonder what the real reason is? |
Really? You mean in their social groups and regular interactions they are dealing with foreigners and people who don't speak Korean?
And do you follow these people around? How do you know how many foreigners they see?
Relax. You're being stared at. We get paid to be stared at. |
We get paid to teach English. We don't get paid to have old folks scowling at us on buses and subways, or just walking with students to the train station. Sure, loads of Koreans are great people, but it happens often enough to annoy us. |
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Stalin84
Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Location: Haebangchon, Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
Really? You mean in their social groups and regular interactions they are dealing with foreigners and people who don't speak Korean?
And do you follow these people around? How do you know how many foreigners they see?
Relax. You're being stared at. We get paid to be stared at. |
I know they see enough not to stare so much. I expect to get stared at if I go to a small town or city in Korea, of course. What I never understood is why I got stared at so much in Seoul, Busan or any other major city in Korea. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Stalin84 wrote: |
| Steelrails wrote: |
Really? You mean in their social groups and regular interactions they are dealing with foreigners and people who don't speak Korean?
And do you follow these people around? How do you know how many foreigners they see?
Relax. You're being stared at. We get paid to be stared at. |
I know they see enough not to stare so much. I expect to get stared at if I go to a small town or city in Korea, of course. What I never understood is why I got stared at so much in Seoul, Busan or any other major city in Korea. |
In those cities is it every person on the subway that stares at you? What's the percentage that stare at you?
Whenever I see foreigners get on teh subway 1-2 people stare at them. The rest are all staring at their digital TVs, chatting on their cell phones, sleeping, oggling some girl, being a barf-cutey couple, looking at the guy giving the sales pitch, or reading the Chosun Ilbo.
As for staring being annoying. I mean I guess its just a comfort thing. Going from small town to small town in the States I guess I just found staring natural so when I came here I'm not really bothered by it. Plus being desperate for attention as a teenager and enjoying the limelight as adult it just works well with my psychological foibles.
Embrace the limelight. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
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In those cities is it every person on the subway that stares at you? . |
You're not grasping it yet.
If even so much as ONE person casually glances at me I find it horrible...yea beyond my very endurance. It's all I can do not to experience a nervous breakdown right there and then. The only thing that allows me to keep my nerve and sanity under this fearsome scrutiny is the knowledge that I can post about this on Dave's soon and receive comfort and understanding from my fellow foreigners. |
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b-class rambler
Joined: 25 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Stalin84 wrote: |
Like many in this thread, I don't really understand why Koreans stare so much. Most of them have seen foreign looking people every day in their lives, whether it be on TV or in real life (those who live in Seoul). Yet they still persist like there is no tomorrow.
If you ask Koreans why they do this they'll tell you that it's because they're not used to seeing foreigners. That's total BS. I wonder what the real reason is? |
I get what you're saying, and I'd agree it would be total BS for them to say "because I don't see many/any foreigners" or "because there are very few foreigners in Korea". But saying that they're 'not used to' seeing foreigners is dependent on the individual involved and is not quite the same thing as saying they don't see many. Especially also when you factor in the possibly different way many Koreans understand that particular phrase (not used to) compared to how native speakers understand it.
I could well conceive a Korean explaining to me in their own language something along the lines of
"I realise there are quite a lot of foreigners in Korea nowadays, but I don't personally know any, they make up 0% of my daily life and they all look different so I tend to be extra curious when I see one"
and then trying to explain that in English with "I'm not used to seeing foreigners".
If they were a reasonably advanced student of mine then I'd probably tell them that there was a much better way to put that into English; but otherwise I'd say it was just about fair enough.
Incidentally, I also spent a lot of time in Japan and I'd agree with previous posters that Japanese staring is not quite the same as Korean (although not that it's necessarily better/nicer). However, something I did find the same as Korea was that when I lived in the capital city, it didn't really happen that much less than in a much smaller place. I noticed it just as much during my daily life in Tokyo as I did during my daily life in Kyushu.
Ultimately, whilst I don't totally lack sympathy for people finding it uncomfortable and would be lying if I said it had never ever bothered me myself, I think staring is really what the 'staree' chooses to make of it. We all have days when things get to us more than others, but it's really not that difficult to make it a non-issue if you indeed want it to be a non-issue. |
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yesman
Joined: 15 Sep 2006
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| Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:18 am Post subject: |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Yes, staring at Koreans is fine. But being stared at by Koreans is a psychologically damaging experience which requires years of specialized therapy to overcome. Or pages on pages of posting on Dave's. We've only had a few hundred threads about it...there's still plenty of mileage to extract. |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| If even so much as ONE person casually glances at me I find it horrible...yea beyond my very endurance. It's all I can do not to experience a nervous breakdown right there and then. The only thing that allows me to keep my nerve and sanity under this fearsome scrutiny is the knowledge that I can post about this on Dave's soon and receive comfort and understanding from my fellow foreigners. |
Interesting how you've kept checking this link for chances to display your sarcastic wit and tell people how you're SO tired of hundreds of threads like this. What do you need to express? I'm a good listener. Go ahead, say it again. I'm here for you. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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| yesman wrote: |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Yes, staring at Koreans is fine. But being stared at by Koreans is a psychologically damaging experience which requires years of specialized therapy to overcome. Or pages on pages of posting on Dave's. We've only had a few hundred threads about it...there's still plenty of mileage to extract. |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| If even so much as ONE person casually glances at me I find it horrible...yea beyond my very endurance. It's all I can do not to experience a nervous breakdown right there and then. The only thing that allows me to keep my nerve and sanity under this fearsome scrutiny is the knowledge that I can post about this on Dave's soon and receive comfort and understanding from my fellow foreigners. |
Interesting how you've kept checking this link for chances to display your sarcastic wit and tell people how you're SO tired of hundreds of threads like this. What do you need to express? I'm a good listener. Go ahead, say it again. I'm here for you. |
Thanks...I knew I could express my utter and total devastation at being looked at. Whew! I feel a lot better now for getting that off my chest and knowing I'm not alone.
(hums "We Shall Overcome") |
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Privateer
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:05 am Post subject: |
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| Stares? What stares? |
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brier
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:35 am Post subject: |
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| I do the old ~ 'watch them watching me' ~thing. It's fun. |
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ocean_panther
Joined: 08 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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My fiance is Peruvian and so it seems like Koreans are always staring at her. Literally within a minute out of the apartment. I think the men are just curious or find her to be exotic/sexy. Especially the old men. But even the younger men, even when driving or riding bikes. They have kept staring at her long after they have passed us. Plus they have this priceless look on their faces. It gets pretty ridiculous.
Now the women, on the other hand, are a whole different story. The older women tend to glare at her. Of course not all of them. But if we go for a walk it is pretty common to come across an old lady glaring as we walk by. I've thought maybe it was because they were jealous knowing how much attention their husbands were giving her. I asked a co-teacher and she said they are probably just very curious. If that is the case, then I guess they just do not know how bitter/unfriendly they look with those glares.
There is a woman who lives on my street who seemed to always have a very cold frowning face when she walked her dog. Her dog is very cute so I smiled. When she saw me smiling, she opened up and has smiled ever since. |
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Chimie
Joined: 05 Oct 2011
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| Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Let em stare. Doesn't affect me one way or the other. |
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rabidcake
Joined: 10 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 1:34 am Post subject: |
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| Privateer wrote: |
| Stares? What stares? |
Yeah, exactly... |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 1:43 am Post subject: |
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| rabidcake wrote: |
| Privateer wrote: |
| Stares? What stares? |
Yeah, exactly... |
If you're pretty, or pretty ugly, you'll get stares. The former is actually way more uncomfortable if you're alone and female. My husband comes into Seoul from Incheon to meet me after my Saturday class, because I get out at around 10pm, and he doesn't want me to travel alone that late at night. I've had drunken Korean guys harass me in the past, and I was by no means dressed provocatively, but it doesn't seem to happen with a 6'4" foreign guy with a shaved head sitting next to me. Imagine that.
On the other hand, I get a lot of friendly smiles and waves when I'm out and about in my neighborhood, especially when I'm walking my almost-ridiculously-friendly dog. |
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djmarcus
Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 3:00 am Post subject: |
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Ok, here comes the Korean American (gyopo) perspective.
Yes the staring thing is by annoying. I've lived with it for about 5 years, it never gets old. Even with a Korean face, I still feel that stare. I think its just a curiosity nature, like "oh who's that? Hmm not my type" stare at next persson. So by saying this I hope the non Koreans can take a little bit of stress off their plate because it's not only because of the way you look, it's everybody, including other Koreans.
In addition, I would like to say that we are in anor country where our rights are about as small as a cup of coffee. Koreans can do whatever the f they want to do cause its their country. I hate this, but it's the only way that I can keep going, cause guys, it ain't gonna stop no matter what is said here, on tv, anywhere.
If you want to blend in more, stop wearing clothes that say I'm a foreigner. Take the shades off of your hat and just look like you don't give a rats ass. They just might not give a hoot either.
Peace |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 4:27 am Post subject: |
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| djmarcus wrote: |
Ok, here comes the Korean American (gyopo) perspective.
Yes the staring thing is by annoying. I've lived with it for about 5 years, it never gets old. Even with a Korean face, I still feel that stare. I think its just a curiosity nature, like "oh who's that? Hmm not my type" stare at next persson. So by saying this I hope the non Koreans can take a little bit of stress off their plate because it's not only because of the way you look, it's everybody, including other Koreans.
In addition, I would like to say that we are in anor country where our rights are about as small as a cup of coffee. Koreans can do whatever the f they want to do cause its their country. I hate this, but it's the only way that I can keep going, cause guys, it ain't gonna stop no matter what is said here, on tv, anywhere.
If you want to blend in more, stop wearing clothes that say I'm a foreigner. Take the shades off of your hat and just look like you don't give a rats ass. They just might not give a hoot either.
Peace |
Yeah, because Koreans never wear hats. Right. Some of us dress respectably, with nice hats (that well-off Korean women also buy) purchased at department stores, to block out the sun. Some of us just get stares because we have a different body shape and are considered exotic. They can stare, but we can also let them know that it's rude, depending on the scenario. There are civilized ways of doing so, and we have every right to do so if we choose. |
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