Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ryleeys]

Seriously, what kind of a question is "How do you treat a Korean girl?"

The answer is: the same as any other girl... and with the utmost respect.

[Harin]

I can't believe what I am reading here.

Ok, I am soooo sorry to hear about Derreck's and few other guys' experiences w/ Korean women. I just can not believe that they would turn down caring, sensitive, affectionate, romantic, and responsible men. Such unheard-of nonsense irritates me. Well, all I can tell you guys is that maybe you haven't met the right gal.

Also, don't judge girls by its cover! I am a Seoul girl, but I don't think I am a party/bar girl. Sure, I like hanging out in Hongdae or Shinchon because I can dance all night without getting harrassed by annoying 'piki' or 'booking', not because I am looking for wham-bang-thank-you-son.

[sparkx]

How about you Harin? How do you feel about DP's?

[ryleeys]

Obviously that whole "respect" thing is lost on the people here...

[Harin]

[Crois]

I thought you (harin) were a guy.

[Harin]

[sparkx]

[dogbert]

[katydid]

[Saxiif]

[Derrek]

Gawd... I posted this one almost exactly a year ago. Recently, it seems like people are looking for topics that are exactly a year old to "bring them alive" again. hahahh. That's ok.

Well, not long after that post, I learned that the girlfriend I posted about was "yang-dah-rhee", because her boyfriend e-mailed me after he spied one of my e-mails to her. They had some sort of fight over what I said, and she told me "no contact" ever again. That was it. Don't know if they ended up marrying or not -- he got bent out of shape because they were planning the marriage and parents had already met, etc.

One year later, I've learned just be kind and act aloof. That seems to work best. I just assume that the K-girls are going to have more than 1 guy, and don't raise my expectations. I have resigned to believe that Koreans don't commit to just one guy. They are open to playing both inside of marriage and out of it. The men here have done it so long, and will continue it -- and it takes 2 to tango! I just call it a cultural thing, and I don't want my future wife to be that way, so I guess marrying a K-girl is out of the question. Sure, it's common back home too, but we don't have 10,000 adult motels all over the place, either. That in itself is a big "red flag" about this culture.

Of course, there is always the exceptional "good girl", but those seem to escape me.

I've also learned that K-girls seem to play this insecure game of break-up, be friends, keep calling, want to get back sometimes, etc.

I find that if I just act aloof and friendly, and be the strong guy they can come to when they need to talk, I get a lot more response.

Another reason I've given up on the thought of marrying a Korean. I've met too many other foreign girls that, whether or not I am attracted to, are just far more interesting and fun to talk to. It serves to remind me that looks aren't everything, and that any K-girl I marry is gonna turn into a nasty ajumma some day. I'm not talking about the western expats here, necessarily. I met a heck of a nice woman in Thailand who owns a PC Bang there -- she's cool.

So I'm holding out for the hot girl who also has a personality. I will probably be single forever, because those types usually get scooped up by richer more attractive guys with better jobs.

[rapier]

I don't believe that every K-woman plays away from home..I think most of the men do..often with prostitutes or whatever..I think if your relationship is intact and worked hard at, there is far less chance ofinfidelity of course. A relationship is actually an exhausting thing, that you have to work at constantly to keep in good shape..you can never rest, or stop trying...you have to be constantly aware of the state of play between you: forestall trouble, be responsive, etc etc etc..
I wouldn't discount a korean just because the culture here seems to be a cheating one: its the same the world over...and so are women..and men.
It seems to me that its that much harder with a korean because they expect you to make absolutely all the moves and pursue them..with often conflicting signals back from them. and you also have to figure out their expectations and cultural protocols..
Acting aloof...this works in the very short term if you're planning on scoring with someone you've only just met: or to bring around someone that you know has wronged you...but in a longer term relationship, you have to be yourself, be real, stop the acting. For example if a woman senses you want to say or do something to her, but instead you play cool, it backfires.
Ultimately I still believe that how big your bank balance is or whatever doesn't matter if you are honestly seen to be trying your best, if you are prepared and committed to her, and your future, and if you show determination...if these are present, the cultural miscommunications will be swept aside. Just be yourself: there's no point acting, because everyone knows who you are anyway. If you want to act strong, save it for when some idiot insults her...or whatever.

[rapier]

In addition to that, I find K-gals hard going because they expect you to pursue them so hard...I'm not used to that. I'm used to simply showing some interest, and then letting them return it or not, before I make my move. K-gals expect you to determindly hunt them down, even force them into a corner sometimes. The idea of practically raping a woman is abhorrent to me, but sometimes a K-gal expects you to be forceful.
Sick of Korean gals? Nah..they're still endlessly fascinating.

[Homer]