Korean Job Discussion Forums

[hellofaniceguy]

If you stare at a korean, they don't like it either.
I think a lot of non koreans who come to korea have already formed opinions somewhat thinking that "gee, judging by all the technological advancements korea has made, etc. and so on and so forth," it's, korea, is an advanced nation. Once they arrive in korea, they realize, mistake big time.
We know already before we go to Laos, Vietnam, Burma, some African nations and a host of other not so advanced nations, that we will expect staring, bad service, rudness, crazy drivers, etc. and tolerate it. (I suppose the same can be said for advanced nations!) But coming to korea I think ones expectations are somewhat high. Thinking it's like Japan, Canada, NZ, Australia, Europe or the U.S. This is not trolling but koreans are their own worst enemy in a way. So many good things about the country get washed away by the asinine things koreans do. They want positive change also but long on rhetoric and short on specifics. No one wants to take the lead and upset the applecart.

[wylde]

if ya want them to stop staring at you.. just stare right back.. i promise they will look away really quick..

what really p*sses me of is when i am shopping... every single 1 of them looks in my shopping trolley.. every 1 i pass.. especially if i have a dozen vodka bottles in it. i am thinking of taking a towel or something to cover my food, just so they will get frustrated cuz they can't see what the waygook has.. meeeerr rong

[Donghae]

[ThreeDogNight]

Stick to the point. What do you think 'constitutes' the motives behind staring?

Enough of these 'Oddball' theories. We know we get stared at enough here. Why do you think that Asians, in general, are staring, and this not just at you, but at things in general? And why for sooo long?

What I mean is do you think there are any reasons behind staring other than for curiosity/fear or some of these points mentioned here?

[wylde]

ok - interest, just pure interest

i don't think it is anything else... they are shut off to the rest of the world and it must be interesting to see what foreign people look like, buy, wear, drink, etc..

[little mixed girl]

......

[captain kirk]

Some of the staring from Korean guys is the 'I am your superior' variety and that's the most noticeable. You can feel that one, like a heat vision. I can't relate to the sense of self that is entirely confident in 'superiority'. But perhaps the starer doesn't feel that all the time, just as a sort of 'counting coup' in the presence of an inferior. Korea is highly status-conscious and hierarchically levelled. The guy's perking himself up by strutting with his stare. Unless I'm in a REALLY bad mood it doesn't bother me; I just think it's weird. Consoled by the objectifying of it; he's not staring at 'me'. He's just staring at something he's thinking about what I am, like a judgement. Which is a rut he's in. Like he's having issues with being in a hierarchy and bucking for position and staring is his assertion of place. He's struggling, needs a vacation, is stressed out.
(new paragraph)A poster said on this thread that if you look head-on back they quickly look away. Like 'it was worth a shot, but it's not worth a staring duel'. When you look back they see that you do not think of yourself as pigeon holed beneath their status level. Not at all. Maybe that surprises them. They must be fairly certain from back-up from 'friends' and 'peers' and the 'society' to stare like that with the notion a foreign white English teacher is inferior to them. I put the brackets in the last sentence because it depends on the person staring, and who his friends, peers, and section of society are that influence his mindset.
The power/dominance stare is the hardest to ignore, the easiest to detect, and so the most bothersome at times. It's like he's coming from a completely overbearing 'take' on who I am. It's a hard one, a hard stare. But it's true that the impassive Korean facial expression, so stoic and hard to read (rather like the look of a North American Indian) in combination with a stare makes it more likely the stare will be interpreted as a 'power stare'; the face is so strong, stony. To understand this stare, where it comes from, would mean looking into Korean society and how much pressure is on an individual to conform, do their duty to a satisfactory degree with dilligence, devotion, the appearance of unwavering respect for their boss or bosses, and so on. Maybe it's difficult for us Westerners to conceive of, and easy to forget, how much pressure they might be under. Some carefree Westerner walks by and maybe they're envious. Then miffed we don't appear to be 'under anyone's thumb', and conforming, as they must be.

[GoshiwonGuy]

Oh, so now we're getting into how we respond to staring. If it's an overbearing stare I usually have one of two responses, just to shake'em out of their zone.

Man: I stare back, as I grab my crotch, as in "hey, buddy how'd you like summa this"?

Woman: I stare back, as I grab my crotch, as in "hey, baby how'd you like summa this"?



GG

[ratslash]

i've tried everything to try and get them to stop. now i'm at staring right back at them. the best solution so far. the stare i use is the same as the one i use for a child mis-behaving in class. working a treat so far!

[Lloyd Christmas]

The best solution I have seen came from an American friend of mine. Whenever an adjoshi would start staring at her she would reach down, open her bag and pull out her digi-cam, look into it and start snapping pics of the offender...

Of course, if a guy does this it may lead to a cracked sternum

[dogbert]

[Tiberious aka Sparkles]

[peppermint]

I flash a quick grin and wave. Generally they're embarassed about being caught and it ends it painlessly

lmg- you get stared at cause you're gorgeous. We don't all have that experience.

I didn't notice the staring much in Seoul, out in the country though it's pretty blatant.

My theory is going to sound really arrogant, but it's not intended that way. This culture is inundated with glamourous (false) images of life in a western country. I get the impression sometimes that a foreigner sighting is like a very small brush with what that glamour. Doesn't matter much if we're wearing ragged jeans, sneakers and haven't combed out hair. This applies mostly to younger Koreans from the smaller areas.

The reason that I say that is because there have been numerous times when Koreans have mentioned that they saw me somewhere in the past as though it was a minor event. For example on the first day of class a student said "Omigod, I saw you in the theatre one time." Upon further questioning I found out that had happened over two months before.

[wylde]

[ThreeDogNight]

Kirk, you making sense here as I think from a cultural perspective the tendency-at least on my part-is to get angry and warming up to someone usually dissolves this. It usually turns out the person meant no harm anyway.

Yet when you can't approach them and you're in the middle of an intersection, it's each man to his own.