Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Barking Mad Lord Snapcase]

As with everything else, it depends on the individual. There are many open-minded, generous Koreans just as there are many shallow and conformist Westerners. Cultural upbringing and experience may differ, obviously, and this will have some influence on one's personality. A Korean who has a genuine understanding of the West may find it easier to befriend a Westerner without being patronizing or overbearing. Similarly, a Westerner with a "do unto others" attitude may find it easier to befriend Koreans. Problems arise, however, when good intentions go sour. Some Koreans seem to express their friendship by firing off 50 personal questions; some Westerners might crack jokes that get a lot of silent stares Some Koreans act friendly by speaking 6 inches from your face; some Westerners show respect by taking one step back; some Koreans choose everything for you; some Westerners insist that you "take your pick" ... etc etc ...

There is also some overlapping. Again, it depends on the individual.

I have nothing against Westerners describing their own personal experince in Korea. Firstly, it gives you that "I'm-not-the-only-one" sense of relief. Secondly, their situation might be genuinely worse than yours. While I was occassionally guilty of complaining myself, I often used to ask questions of the more experienced expats in order to get a comprehensible picture of the culture I had landed in.

[weatherman]

I think what happens, is that you begin to realize that you have common issues and experiences with other foreigners that are a bit on the negitive side, and this lead to a downward feeling about Korea...... I think people gard the good things that happen to them here with a jealousy, or boast a bit too much about the good things that happen to them, so the common line is the crap that happens.... I don't get involved too much in the barking thesedays.... You are right, and it is a negitive feeling....

[matko]

[rapier]

Interesting thread~
Gwangjuboy: old folks are great when you get to know them. They certainly seem to shed the prejudices when they reach a certain age. They truly seem to know that we're basically all the same, and politically speaking they're often pro American or at least, don't care where it is you're from, so long as you can hold a good conversation.
Snapcase: its true, you could write a book about the different misconceptions, miscommunications, expectations, involved in just a moments conversation between a korean and a westerner..sometimes comical, sometimes annoying and frustrating. But its surprising how ignorant we all are about why we do things differently...

[TheUrbanMyth]

[Ya-ta Boy]

I think it's true in the sense that the negativity of some foreigners drains my energy and makes me less able to cope with the stresses that come with the expat life. Like some others said above, when I worked as the only waygook saram, I enjoyed my life here more. Now I work with a whiner who seems to follow me around at break time just to complain about every thing that bothers him. It's wearing. Mine isn't Australian, he's English. Yes, English not British. And everything is better back there.

[mithridates]

I was in the shop today looking for something when a Canadian guy came in...he seemed to be studying Korean a bit and was working hard to have a conversation with the ajumma there. She asked him where he was from in Korean and he said Canada. To which I asked, "Which part of Canada?" in Korean. He gave me a weird look...either he didn't understand or thought I was making fun? He took off without answering. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt though; seemed to be a nice guy.

I remember another Canadian in the place where I used to work who was a new teacher. He had been around for a few weeks when one day, while talking to a couple from Seattle, he found out they were American. "You traitor! I didn't know you were American!" he said with a smile. There was an awkward silence after that. That guy ran back to TO a few months later...

I do find something in common with the people who are trying their best to make a life for themselves here, or others who I just know I would be friends with back home. I wore a black jean jacket with an Iron Maiden patch across the back and later leather jackets plus long hair in high school. I remember going to a bar one night with some people I knew and ending up chatting with a beefy rugby player some ten years older then me and realized what a funny matchup that would've been back home... sometimes it's good, but I do agree with Mr. Pink that there's no requirement that two people be friends just because they happen to speak the same language.

Mr. Pink, now that we have something in common by agreeing that we don't need to be friends, can we be friends?

[Barking Mad Lord Snapcase]

[little mixed girl]

......

[Tiger Beer]

Actually when I spend time with 'white' foreigners in Korea.. I better understand African-Americans in the United States.

Commonalities:

-9 times out of 10 everything is a racial issue.

-Koreans aren't cool and will never understand what its like to be a foreigners. (whites aren't cool and will never understand what its like to be black).

-You're acting Korean and thats not cool (Afr-Am: You're being an oreo - black on the outside, white on the inside).

-Having to acknowledge every white guy you see regardless if you want to or not. (Afr-Am in the States the same - except in Afr-Am majority areas).

-Feeling some kind of invisible obligation to 'watch out' for your white guy acquientences even when you know he's kind of crossing the line a bit.

-Feeling a comfort zone seeing another white guy in a bar even though you don't know him and have no desire to know him.

-All kinds of white people are your friends by default without your choosing.

-etc.

[kangnam mafioso]

i'm not sure about that. let's face it, korea is a hard place to live. aside from the easy jobs and free apartments, the culture is completely different from our own. it's abrasive, it goes against our own grain and our instinctive life philosophies. i think the hostility arises from that abrasiveness and the low quality of life in many korean cities: (overcrowding, pollution, expense, spitting, noise, rude people bumping into us). also, the alienation, the inability to understand what is being said around us, the feeling of always being outnumbered and not being able to adequately express ourselves.

with that said, i think it's important to have a good variety of friends of different nationalities and professions. most of my friends where western teachers, but i had some korean friends as well and some western friends who had non-educational jobs in korea. it makes life more interesting.

[Zenpickle]

Okay, I haven't made it to Seoul yet, but I did live for a while in Germany ten years ago, and this thread sounds so similar to my experiences with German culture. I'm wondering if this is specific to Korea or really a general natural reaction to being in a culture that is alien to you.

I was an Army brat, but we lived off base. My only contact with GIs was during my job at an on-base music store. And I made a lot of friends there. After a while, though, most of my friends tended to be from non-American nationalities, or at least not affiliated with the Army.

Anyway... culture. You know, Germans seemed pushy and arrogant to me at first. But when I got to know them personally, and they explained the faux pas I was making, it was not that big of a deal. On the other side of the coin, I was with my international friends at a wine festival, having a great time with everyone. When the band took a break, and everyone was chatting, a GI got up on a table and for no reason shouted, "The United States Army can kick all your fucking German asses!"

That was the first time I was embarrassed to be an American. And unfortunately, that GI's actions was the impression that Germans had of Americans.

For a while, though, I did turn into one of those whiners, always compaining about the toilets without water, the smell of natural fertilizer in the air, and really trivial things.

Yet when I was down to my last month there, I started getting nightmares of returning to the U.S., to a land littered with tacky billboards and fast food signs with no character to any town center at all. And I regretted having wasted a lot of time complaining about the culture when I had learned to embrace it.

The past ten years, I've become the opposite of what I was there. I talk about how great German things are (except for the toilets) to the point of annoyance. I actually MISS the culture shock, being out of my comfort zone.

Or as David Sedaris put it:

Everyday we're told we live in the greatest country on earth and it's always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure 60x80 inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it's startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans too, none of which are 'We're number two!

[Josh_Nyc]

in my 3 years in korea, i realized all ex-pats go through their anti-korean stages..usually in the beginning. most people i met were recent grads...living in the "real world" for the first time...hence blaiming their diffuculties on Korea rather than simply being a newbie.

after a while, i realized its better to take that chip off your shoulder against koreans and learn to integrate yourself better with the people and culture. my last year in korea was 100 times better because of my change in attitude.

[Circus Monkey]

[Homer]

Criticism is a good thing if its meant in a constructive way and not just a pointless rant or a fit of venting which is too often the case....

How your life here goes depends a lot on you and on the way you choose to deal with things.

the comment made earlier about recent grads living in the "real world" for the first time is true in many cases. Other times its simply being closeminded or holing up in the face of differences.