Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mayorgc]

It's possible to get real and frank answers if you become true friends with them. Not just as co-workers or casual friends.

A big problem in this type of discussion with Koreans is that they don't all have western views regarding sex, love and marriage. Some have western views, but not all.

The above isn't exactly my opinion, this was told to me by 2 seperate Korean women. One over 30 and one under 30. One woman, who is basically a salary woman, told me that 90% of the dudes in her work place were messing around on their wives. She told me that it's ok, because it's just sex, not love, so it's not really cheating. As long as the husband brought home the paycheck, all was good. If the husband "loved" the other woman, then there would be a problem. But she was a bit older (32 or 34) and maybe her thinking was old school Korean style, where marriage isn't always about love. I asked her straight up "How would you react if your husband slept with hookers?". She told me she wouldn't be happy with it, but she accepts it. Because it's part of the Korean work culture and that's how things were done in Korea.

I brought this up with my co-worker, who is under 30 and she and her friend both said the 90% figure was much much too high. That actually gave me a sense of relief, since upon hearing the 90% figure, I was actually a little bit depressed. But the two woman then revealed that they thought the figure was closer to 70%, which sorta confused and saddened me at the same time. I wasn't sure which was worse, the fact that the percentage was still well above 50 or the fact that they thought 70% was a reasonable number.

So from what I gathered, old salary men are screwing hookers and their wives are okay with it.

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[Adjumas Cheekbones]

[mayorgc]

Never claimed it was a scientific study. I don't even claim that it's true. It's 2 anecdotes passed on to me by two different woman. They could be lying but I really don't care all that much.

[Johnny_Bravo]

this ongoing nonsense about infidelity and hookers is becoming amusing.

Marriage was always basically hoisted on society by religion and by the need for legal and lawful property rights that were able to be passed down to one's offspring.

Some people were powerful enough to take on religion frontally (henry the eighth comes to mind and every Ottoman sultan had a harem to die for... a tradition the Sultan of Brunei follows to this day)

Few normal and sane people actually stay completely loyal to their ONE partner their entire lives, this is especiall true for males. It runs completely counter to male nature in every way.

The men who do stay loyal mostly do it because a) they love their wives/partners and wouldn't want to hurt them if they found out and or b)
they're afraid of or unwilling to suffer the consquences if their partners found out.

if you could guarantee a male that his wife would never find out, the infidelity rate would be above 95%. (and the remaining 5% would be religiously brainwashed kooks)

Most cultures have adapted to this by following either a don't ask/don't tell policy, or a definite stay discreet don't bring your crap home policy or a combination of both.

it's an effective way to keep nature and biology from destroying the fake concept of "till death do us part" (sexually speaking) and keep the family unit intact, with little Johnny's, little Minsus and property rights upheld, etc which once again is why marriage exists.

Korea is one of those cultures.

So can the moralizers just please just STFU?

I mean most "Westerners" do NOT have "Western" views on sex, marriage, etc. (as plenty of statistics can show)

but it's a nice thing to say on Oprah, Dr. Phil, or Dave's.

[madoka]

I have it on good authority that 95% of the users on Dave's are idiots.

[seoulsucker]

[ekul]

[michaelambling]

[crossmr]

[*Sutebia*]

Wow i was talking with my korean friend back in the states about this very subject. She went nuts claming that no one in korea can do such a thing and that you would go to jail. I have been in many political conversations with Koreans but never my co-workers or even in korea. Just dont say anything bad about this place (dont shit where you eat my friend)

[Goku]

Teachers are middle aged 25-50 year old somethings usually conservative. In general, this wouldn't be the type of topic you could get into with them.

As for how many people cheat. I think it depends about where or who you're talking to. In some areas, everyone's cheating. But if you go out to the sticks or conservative or christian areas, it could be quite possible that the majority of them don't cheat.

I'm surrounded by people I could never imagine having an affair. All these people talk about is their children and families.... yada yada yada. I meet too many conservatives that are so family obessed they wouldn't even have time to cheat. They are either sending their kids to hagwon, picking them up, making meals, buying clothes, etc etc.

Who even has time to cheat? Everyone's so goddamn busy. Even the men. I know a few dentists, lawyers, doctors etc... these guys don't care about going out for soju and norebangs. They stay home, spend time with their kids and do what's responsible... and practice their English with me lol.

The reason we think it's so high is because you are probably going out and drinking or mingling with people who have a higher incidence of cheating. For some reason, I'm always meeting family men and women. They spend 100% of their lives working, eating, giving to their kids. All they care about is their kids and education. And I'm inclined to think that's a higher % of the population than the people who are cheating.

[*Sutebia*]

Dude what are all the love hotels for? come on..... people are busy, but they find time to cheat.

[Goku]

[Joe666]

Medic:

[Johnny_Bravo]

re guy meets girl in club, they want to get a room instead of going back to "their" place.


not really. in Korea, as in most of the still developing world, or quasi developed world, people tend to live with their parents until marriage.
Housing isn't as widely available as stateside, and the economic of being able to afford one's own place in one's twenties are daunting.

re "Western" ideas on sex, marriage, etc. you also have to understand most of the people here are in their twenties, usually early twenties, when idealism still runs amok.

the "marriage, have sex only with your husband/wife " ideal is a beautiful ideal and I'm sure many people deeply want to believe in it.

Have those people get back to me in a decade, especially after a decade of marriage.

Such dreams die hard, it's usually the last of our dreams to go, after Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.

and you can laugh at me for inventing 95% all you want. Clearly I don't know what the exact percentage would be, but I'd be willing to bet an awful lot of money the percentages would be shockingly high (provided one could guarantee the partner could never find out)

That's why you have the typical sayings.. for every hot woman, there's a guy tired of boinking her (think Halle Berry, Liz Hurley, etc etc etc)
and why guys talk about "getting some strange".

For men, love and sex are not synonymous and they can easily compartmentalize between the two, no matter what the preachers, or "relationship experts" may say.

Joe666, you're clearly bringing your own biased views as to what marriage entails.

in many countries it still basically entails what it has entailed since the beginning of mankind and what goku talks about in his post - that being a societal structure to first make/creat and then "provide/educate" the little ones. Nothing more, nothing less. Where one chooses to get their rocks off (or whatever the phrase may be for women) - that's an entirely different story altogether. It's typically the marriage bed, after all, it's the easiest - but after about a thousand times of same same, one's mind starts to wander elsewhere.