Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kangnamdragon]

I still think Korea is much safer than the United States. One would need a lot of stats to change my mind. Even if kids are kidnapped and killed here, the rate is still higher in the U.S.

[batman]

As a father I would have to say there are parts of Korea where I would be willing to raise my son. Even then I would only keep him here for a limited time.
There is no way in the world that I would want to have my son exposed to the Korean educational system. I would rather have him properly educated in a decent school program where he would not have to attend a myriad of after-school programs to make up for what they did not teach him during the school day.
Another problem with raising a child around these here parts is the lack of parks and other play areas. The only playground in my former Busanian neighbourhood was very tiny, covered in sand, and offered only rusty old equipment. Where I live now is better for play space which, strangely enough, is chronically empty of children.
Then there is the pollution. Sure, I admit, that I am known for being compulsive and neurotic but I worry (constantly as it would happen) about the influence living in Korea will have on the health of my young son.
The limited selection of fresh fruits and vegetables is another concern.
Then there is the cost. Every damn thing that is associated in any way with raising a child is damn expensive in this country. When my wife was expecting we had three boxes of baby clothes shipped in from Canada for the same price as three outfits here. No wonder the birth rate in Korea is so damn low who the hell has the money for children?
Violence against children here seems to be, mostly, family related. The idea that children belong to the parents and, thus, they must die if the parents are suicidal is something I don't understand. When there was that wave of child murder-parent suicide recently most of my Korean friends understood the need of the parent to kill the child (after all what kind of life could the child turned orphan expect?). Horrible.
As the father of a year-old toddler in Korea I have some, relatively, troubling stories about the things my son has experienced during his year of life in Korea. Though I will not go into details here I will say that being around Koreans when I am out and about with my son always makes me go on the defensive.
To be honest there is very little that I approve of when it comes to the Korean method of childrearing. From the killing of unborn babies for the seoul reason of being female (I had a female student admit to aborting her 8 month old fetal twins because they were female (8 months that's a fucking viable baby we are talking about). To the excessive pampering of the princely young males (almost made me wish Robin had been a girl). And so on.
On a side note, an interesting bit of information, a friend of mine (who is a doctor) told me (while we were out drinking) that 10% of the children in Korea have been made possible because of scientific help (the father's had low sperm count) and are thus not related to their 'fathers'. And, on top of that, it is estimated that another 10% of the babies born here are actually the offspring of the momma's boyfriend and not husband. Considering the emphasis on blood here, those are some might interesting numbers.

[jaebea]

Man, an abortion at 8 months. That's horrible.. :(

I'm a bit of a pro-choicer on these sorts of thing, but this isn't what having a choice is about. I dunno, it makes me think twice about this sort of thing.. :(

Sobering.

jae.

[Real Reality]

Batman wrote,
And, on top of that, it is estimated that another 10% of the babies born here are actually the offspring of the momma's boyfriend and not husband.

The percentage may actually range from 10 to 30 percent.

Misattributed paternity
10-15% is usually taught to medical students
10% is widely used in DNA studies and quoted in standard genetics textbooks
30% from Dr. Elliot Philipp's remark at a 1972 symposium about a study on correlations between antibody formation and blood group.
20-30% from Liverpool Flats study (McLaren HC, cited in Cohen J. Reproduction London: Butterworth,1977)
5% from abortion rate study between couples with compatible and incompatible blood types. Used ABO and Rhesus markers.
http://www.childsupportanalysis.co.uk/analysis_and_opinion/choices_and_behaviours/misattributed_paternity.htm

Mommy's little secret

As families gather this festive season, here is a spicy fact that mothers might be loath to dish out at the holiday table: It's now widely accepted among those who work in genetics that roughly 10 per cent of us are not fathered by the man we believe to be dad.

The doctor looked him squarely in the eye and said: "Morgan, do you have any reason to think this boy might not be yours?" The possibility seemed outlandish. He had been married to the same woman for 13 years and they had had three boys and a girl before they broke up in 1996. But for peace of mind, he decided to go ahead with paternity tests. In March, 1999, the results arrived by mail -- a creased piece of paper telling him that not one of the three boys was his.

"I felt anger toward [my first wife] and sadness, and I felt so sorry for my kids," Mr. Wise recalled. "I told my boys, 'I love you all, you'll always be my sons, the only difference is now I'm not your birth father.' "
Despite this revelation, a district court judge ruled that Mr. Wise had to continue paying child support for the three boys. Based on a 500-year-old common law, most states operate on the presumption that a husband is the father of any child born to his wife during a marriage.

Mr. Wise took his case to the media, hoping to generate political support and contact other men in a similar situation. Instead, he angered the judge, who revoked his visitation rights to the children but left him responsible for $1,100 (U.S.) in monthly support.
"This," Mr. Wise warned, "could happen to anyone."

The Wise verdict has become a flashpoint for men who discover that their children are not their own. Many are actually eager to find out, ordering paternity kits over the Internet. (The American Association of Blood Banks reports that 30 per cent of men who suspect they are not biological fathers are right.)
http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/Globe_and_Mail_Moms_Little_secret_14DEC02.htm

A 1999 study by the American Association of Blood Banks showed that, out of more than 280,000 tests for paternity at accredited labs in the United States -- most of them done in child support cases -- 28 percent excluded the man as the father.
Paternity case may guide how courts treat DNA
http://www.duluthsuperior.com/mld/duluthsuperior/news/4845937.htm

Men wage battle on 'paternity fraud'
There are signs of substantial fraud or mistakes in identifying fathers in child support disputes. The American Association of Blood Banks says the 300,626 paternity tests it conducted on men in 2000 ruled out nearly 30% as the father.
http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/USA_Today_Men_Wage_Battle_on_Paternity_Fraud_12DEC02.htm

[anae]

Bartman wrote:

[batman]

'anae', the name is NOT Bartman.
Secondly, accepting the antics of a cheating wife is not being 'modern in his thinking'.
Another reason a woman in Korea might do this is because of the resentment she may feel in being trapped in a loveless arranged marriage with a man she neither knows or cares about.
"What the in-laws don't know won't hurt them"? More likely what they won't know won't hurt the baby.

[anae]

Sorry Batman, it was a typo.

You might have noticed that I took only one portion of your quote. I was specifically commenting on fertility treatments and not on infidelity. When I referred to modern-thinking men, I meant those who do not hold traditional beliefs about children needing to have blood ties in order to be loved and accepted into a family. A couple that just wants to have a baby may just keep the scientific help to themselves and not go around telling the husband's family or anyone else. The in-laws still sleep at night thinking their name and traditions go on and the baby is accepted into the fold as any other.

[batman]

Sorry Anae I was thinking more of the infidelity part.
So you are Calgary?
I might be there in a couple of months.

[anae]

No worries Batman.

Yeah. We call Calgary home now. We are just ready to celebrate our third year in Canada.

[animalbirdfish]

I certainly agree with an above poster about wanting my (future) kids to have parks and grass to play on (can't remember the last time I saw grass in Korea, come to that).

Someone else mentioned that Korea is a better place to raise kids than inner-city Detroit or Anacostia. Well, of course it is, but no one is saying that it's an 'A' or 'B' choice. I don't want to raise kids in Korea, but that doesn't mean my only remaining choices are Afghanistan, Rwanda or the American underbelly. Is Korea the worst place to raise a kid? Doubtful, but as a parent, I think one is supposed to find the best possible place to raise their offspring (provided they can afford it...and if they can't, well, why have the kid in the first place?), and for me, Korea wouldn't be that place.

[gomurr]

I'm a father to and there is no way I'm going to let my little guy go to school here. We plan to leave Korea for good when he turns 3. The education system here sucks and the safety conditions here are terrible (roads/public places) not to mention it's just plain dirty here for a modernized country. Also my wife isn't Korean so our little guy really stands out here and that leads to alot of Koreans bothering us when we go out.

[tsgarp]

[Mr. Pink]

[batman]

Mr Pink wrote:
Why couldn't your kid attend an international school? As someone who is not a Korean citizen you are entitled to enroll your child in one. Cost? No more than the property taxes you would be paying back home.

Because I do not want my son educated in Korea period. Plus I want to limit his exposure to the damaging influences of being raised in Korea.

Parks do seem a problem, but I'd wager that most of the countries on earth don't have the parks and free space Canada/America/Australia enjoy. Look at Europe. Some countries are so small and just as dense as Korea.

I am not concerned about most of the other countries on earth as I am not currently living in them. Nor do I plan on moving to Europe any time soon.


True pollution would be one of my worries. However, it is a problem in any big city. My hometown has a continual smog over the city during the summer months.

Mine doesn't.

Disagree on this one. Fruits and veggies are flown into Korea when the local stuff isn't available. You probably just don't have access to the bigger type stores like Costco or Carrefour.

Where in Korea does one have to live not to have access to Costco or Carrefour or Emart or WalMart or Homeplus. Considering the oversaturation of the hypermarket here I would be hard pressed not to find on of these stores. But none of these stores has anywhere near the selection of a Loblaws back home.

Totally disagree here. Outfits are WAY cheaper than back home. Your 3 boxes of stuff were what - used clothes? Is your wife Korean? Does she know how to use the Internet? My Korean wife got a crapload of our babystuff off the net. Either used, display model, or just plain CHEAP. The thing is here, people pass on most of their baby stuff to other relatives. Back home is where our relatives are right? So we need to be there to have access to that network of passing on clothes. (if your wife aint korean, or you guys can't get used goods...well I can see your point)


No, my three boxes were not 'used clothes'. Guess it depends on where your back home is. They were brand new. Why go with used or display model when you can go brand new.

The birthrate in Korea is low? Where are you getting your stats? The way I
hear it, the birth rate is steady.

The birthrate of Korea:
"Korea is probably the worst country to raise a child in," said Choi, 29.

South Korea's birth rate in 2002 plunged to the lowest in the world with women having an average of 1.17 children, according to the National Statistical Office. In Japan the rate is 1.33, the United States 2.13 and Britain 1.64."

http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/SITE/data/html_dir/2004/03/08/200403080078.asp

"I wouldike to know a) how old your son is and b) if your son is 1/2 Korean or what. I have had NO problems with my daughter. I don't consider people staring or wanting to touch her cheeks a problem...it isn't everyday they can see a kid so cute!"

My son is, luckily, fourteen months old.

[Corporal]