Korean Job Discussion Forums

[exit86]

Having had experience in this matter with two children here in Korea,
I suggest the following:

--don't expect too much from an 8 month old. We've found that your child will use the toilet independently when he or she chooses, no matter
how much effort you put into it.

--when you do feel your child is ready to start potty training, foster as much independence in the process as posible. This diverges from the approach taken by many Korean parents, who too often hover over the child making silly sounds and constantly looking under the kid's behind for
play-by-play action. A child simply does not need this type of excretory
smothering to do his/her business. Do you?

--try to instill the concept of "privacy for private matters" at this time.
Like I said above, there is no reason for this bodily function to be
broadcast on the nightly news. I am forced to stand guard outside the bathroom door with a sword or a crowd control stick in order to keep our K. relatives out of the bathroom when my kids are doing their thing.
Let him/her do their thing alone, then help them clean themselves.

--for Gosh sake, leave the training potty in the bathroom. I know so many K. parents who station this station anywhere in the house.
Unless you want your kid wizzing in your cooking pots and pans out of confusion as to where exactly such business is to be done, keep potty training in the bathroom where it belongs.

--do not allow the kid to wizz in public if the urge overtakes her or him.
I know and see too many K. parents letting the kid urinate or defecate
on the sidewalk or near the playground. This type of behavior is simply
bad parenting. I might understand such behavior on a farm, but not in
a metropolis with 18 to 20 million people. We must teach our children self-control, not spontaneous self-satisfaction.

--don't follow the common K. path and attribute any type of stomach
discomfort or pain to a simple need to evacuate one's bowels. My Italian
grandmother did this as well, but she was a poor immigrant child with little formal schooling, born of fully uneducated "Old World" parents.
I cringe when I hear my Korean PhD sister-in-law, my MA wife, and my teacher mother-in-law insist that defecation will cure all ailments a child might have.

--praise profusely when praise is earned

--don't make it a bigger deal than it needs to be, lest you want a kid with lifelong Freudian anal hang-ups. Seriously.


Have fun!