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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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D.D.
Joined: 29 May 2008
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 Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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Much of the esl world are alcoholics becausee it is perfect job for them to look normal. They can travel and stay away from people that know them so nobody challenges them on their dysfunction. They can pass it off as travel drinking and hide in amongst the other westerners that are partying. There esl jobs usaully will not challenge them on their habits. Korean public schools have so many Koreans who are alcoholics that they let the westerners be dysfuntional as well.
I lived in a small town and worked in one public school and the other school had an alcoholic teacher. I drink a bit but only did it when I was in Busan so to keep up a decent image and show up rested for th eschool day.
I even think they liked her more despite her obvious drinking. She even drank at school to the point of falling down. They said oh but she is such a nice person otherwise. They like the westerner who just shows up and goes through the paces and doesnt challenge the system too much. The alcoholics stay for years in easy jobs that they can drink outside of and the schools have gotten familiar with that personality type.
I have met some people teaching esl that are such drunks and will never move to small towns again where that is the only type of westerners I can hang out with.
Be warned when you head to small town Korea each town will have a group of westerners who common bond is drinking and they will try to pull you into their little hole. |
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hallazgo
Joined: 22 Oct 2010
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| Posted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 2:39 am Post subject: |
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| Sector7G wrote: |
| redaxe wrote: |
| For an addict, the drug is his best friend, and more important than any of the people in his life. You just have to let those people hit rock bottom, they won't listen to anyone or learn any other way. |
I wish that were always true, redaxe. Sometimes they hit rock bottom and stay there. I have a family member who was a registered nurse but got hooked on painkillers about 15 years ago. Her life has been a shambles ever since, including loss of her family and her profession. |
Short of an intervention, where the family gangs up and forces the alcoholic/addict into a recovery center, what the f*&k can you really do? Especially here in K Land? If rock bottom is what they want (or rather not being there is what they can't do for themselves) then you really can not help them.
As a former AA/NA member, I can tell you that no one can help a person that isn't willing to help themselves.
Although one mustn't necessarily forgo pointing out the myriad problems he/she has or causes...the alcoholic is not likely to listen until that rock bottom is causing problems that even he or she can longer abide. But as so many have already pointed out... if it ain't hurting you... fuhgetaboutit |
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Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:20 am Post subject: |
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| hallazgo wrote: |
Short of an intervention, where the family gangs up and forces the alcoholic/addict into a recovery center, what the f*&k can you really do? Especially here in K Land? If rock bottom is what they want (or rather not being there is what they can't do for themselves) then you really can not help them.
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Agreed, but I was speaking to the more general point that people don't always rebound from "rock bottom". But you are right - there is not much the OP can do in this situation. |
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DeMayonnaise
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:25 am Post subject: |
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| Does he go to AA meetings? If not, he's not an alcoholic...only a dude who likes to drink a lot... |
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FDNY
Joined: 27 Sep 2010
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| Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| DeMayonnaise wrote: |
| Does he go to AA meetings? If not, he's not an alcoholic...only a dude who likes to drink a lot... |
Yeah, +1, ^^^, yo, you go there sister. Yeah man, I like getting together with buddies and drinking. Why not? That is what guys do. Live with it. Only poindexters call it alcololism. I call it having a social life. That Korean guy sounds like he's got some buds. Maybe the OP should get some friends, go out boozing and then he/she wouldn't smell the soju on his coworker. Haha. Stop whinging dude. |
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nero
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:21 am Post subject: |
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| Tell him to hurry up and hit rock bottom, which is about three inches from where your feet are now, darling. And then tell him to find Jesus like all the other losers do. Apparently he's there for you, right next to the pink elephant. |
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Koveras
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:09 am Post subject: |
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| FDNY wrote: |
| DeMayonnaise wrote: |
| Does he go to AA meetings? If not, he's not an alcoholic...only a dude who likes to drink a lot... |
Yeah, +1, ^^^, yo, you go there sister. Yeah man, I like getting together with buddies and drinking. Why not? That is what guys do. Live with it. Only poindexters call it alcololism. I call it having a social life. That Korean guy sounds like he's got some buds. Maybe the OP should get some friends, go out boozing and then he/she wouldn't smell the soju on his coworker. Haha. Stop whinging dude. |
Having spied on several AA meetings, I can tell you that most of those men were major alcoholics for years before they started going to meetings. A common statement was that their drinking had shifted at some point from "social" to "anti-social". Other than that, I agree that the OP should mind his own business. |
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wiganer
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:25 pm Post subject: Re: Working with an alcoholic |
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| Hatcher wrote: |
My co-worker is an alcoholic but he denies it. He goes out several nights a week and comes in the next day with little recognition of what happened.
He usually gets into some type of trouble. When we suggest that drinking maybe be a problem, he goes nuts. He comes up with the craziest excuses as to why something happened. He sometimes gets violent and, of course, blames the other person. He blames everything and everyone except for soju.
He is extremely defensive and any discussion of alcohol is a rough one.
Any thoughts? |
My grandad and uncle were both alcoholics and died years before their time. My grandad was a cop and a nasty piece of work - his alcohol habit elevated his nastiness - 24 years as a constable who never got promoted because he loved hitting people, my uncle - a very bright guy who loved the pub more than his own home.
People who loved them did everything to make them see straight but to no avail even going so far as to ostracize them. Nothing helped in the end and when my dad was crying over the death of his brother this year, saying he could have done more, I told him he did all he could did, my uncle lived his life exactly the way he wanted, nobody told him what to do and if he were to do it all again - I daresay he would do it all the same way.
I would advise against saying anything to this guy unless you are a really good friend and even then it will fall on deaf ears. If you are just a co-worker then mind your own business - do you not think his family have said all what you have wanted to say and it has fell on deaf ears? Why should he listen to Hatcher from Idaho than his own flesh and blood?
If you are lending him money or covering his shifts then refuse to do so! |
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teachingld2004
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
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| Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:40 am Post subject: working with a drunk |
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| One year I worked with a drunk. he would not spend money on food, but spent it on beer. One day a kid said to him, "You smell just like my dad"! Did He stp drinking no, Was he a good teacher? Yes he was. (granted the kids were 7 and 8, but he liked to play with them, they did not fight, did not cry. Guess he was just like dad) |
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