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Rock
Joined: 25 Feb 2005
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 Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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I think unconditional love is a two-way street. With it comes the fact a lot of life decisions are made by others, including the parents. This instills a sense of co-dependency that creates a rather immature human being.
Asians have commented on this fact when going to the West. Some men even comment that the women are more mature. It also breeds ideological brainwashing, which is perhaps one of the biggest obtacles to acceptance of Westerners in general.
This can lead to ignorance also. It's like the analogy of the 'Flea in a jar" syndrome.
Put a flea in a jar with a lid on it. The flea will jump and jump banging against the lid knowing it could get out but just can't. Do this for a week or two. The flea will jump less and less high until eventually you can take the lid off and the flea will no longer try to go beyond its prescribed boundaries.
On the other hand, Americans see this as a sign of individual greatness, to reach beyond and this by their own efforts. Some in Taiwan have even stated Westerners are arrogant. I think it's just because we stand out individually since we've been given this freedom and have no restraints. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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| redaxe wrote: |
The biggest reverse culture shock for me upon my return to the USA has been the extreme aversion that Americans have to paying for anything for another person.
Going to a restaurant with my American friends and listening to them haggle over the bill is so freaking embarrassing that I want to (and sometimes do) just slap my credit card on the table and say I'm paying for the whole thing just so they'll shut up.
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Yeah this. Group dinners are almost impossible if you don't have the right people, though I think its a symptom of what age of people we associate with and their income level.
One thing I notice is that a group of people who are truly good folks always have too much money in the pool at the end and have no problem seeing it all go to the waitress.
The funny thing is these people usually all have successful careers and have behaved in such a fashion all their life, whereas the scrimpers and shiesters seem to be caught in some cycle of cheapness and misery. |
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Provence
Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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I fully understand you OP. My wife and I are heading back to the states soon and I was worried about the same thing. However, the country has over 300,000,000 people and I am sure you can surround yourself with those who have the same ideals as you.
There are many sub cultures in the US, its just finding the right one that can be difficult. My wife and I are planning on moving to Oregon or Northern California to better suit those needs. We are originally from the North east and honestly don�t belong there, the people just move too fast for us.
My point is you shouldn�t judge an entire population of 300 million as being ignorant. Get out and meet some new people. |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:03 am Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| redaxe wrote: |
The biggest reverse culture shock for me upon my return to the USA has been the extreme aversion that Americans have to paying for anything for another person.
Going to a restaurant with my American friends and listening to them haggle over the bill is so freaking embarrassing that I want to (and sometimes do) just slap my credit card on the table and say I'm paying for the whole thing just so they'll shut up.
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Yeah this. Group dinners are almost impossible if you don't have the right people, though I think its a symptom of what age of people we associate with and their income level.
One thing I notice is that a group of people who are truly good folks always have too much money in the pool at the end and have no problem seeing it all go to the waitress.
The funny thing is these people usually all have successful careers and have behaved in such a fashion all their life, whereas the scrimpers and shiesters seem to be caught in some cycle of cheapness and misery. |
When it's with my friends, someone always pays less than they owe due to not factoring in the tax and tip in their head. And everyone always only has 20's so they have to ask the waitress for change. Or they have to split the bill and pay with six different credit cards. Such a pain. I love how in Korea people will fight over the right to pick up the tab. |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:50 am Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
Yeah this. Group dinners are almost impossible if you don't have the right people, though I think its a symptom of what age of people we associate with and their income level.
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I agree that the right people matter but age and income level don't have anything to do with it. Whenever I go out with my friends from grad school we ALWAYS have more than enough to pay for the check and leave a massive tip. In contrast, when I was home last month I went out a few times with friends from high school. Same age bracket and my friends from HS generally make more money and have fewer expenses (i.e. no student loan payments) than grad school ones. Each time we came up a bit short and had to throw in a bit more cash just to ensure we gave an ok tip. Quite a contrast. |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| Provence wrote: |
I fully understand you OP. My wife and I are heading back to the states soon and I was worried about the same thing. However, the country has over 300,000,000 people and I am sure you can surround yourself with those who have the same ideals as you.
There are many sub cultures in the US, its just finding the right one that can be difficult. My wife and I are planning on moving to Oregon or Northern California to better suit those needs. We are originally from the North east and honestly don�t belong there, the people just move too fast for us.
My point is you shouldn�t judge an entire population of 300 million as being ignorant. Get out and meet some new people. |
Agree 100%. There is a bit of everything here in the States. |
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