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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Koreadays
Joined: 20 May 2008
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 Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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I see it like this...
paying all bills in Korea, yes the wife can do it..
savings I don't see why I can't have control of it.. and I do..
I hand over enough money every month for bills to my wife and what ever else she needs, we have a budget.. sure she might hide cash.. so be it..
it's not like I don't hold back cash though that she doesn't know about. LOL
but at the end of the day, I know the majority of what we save and I am happy with that number..if she manages to find 100 bucks somewhere a month for herself.. so be it.. after all.. she is my wife.. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:49 am Post subject: |
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We have a family budget based on shared accounts. All our income is deposited in a couple of central accounts (her pay, my pay...). We set up automated payments and transfers to savings accounts or investments. We have a monthly budget (what we can spend) tagged with an "unexpected" expenses amount.
We have had no money issues since we started doing this. We both know what our budget and savings goals are and we both work and spend from the same accounts.
Works for us and frankl;y speaking as a family I do not see the need or logic of havign separate accounts. Some of our friends split bills 50% and pay from their own accounts, works for them not for us.
To each his own I guess. |
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Modernist
Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Location: The 90s
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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A lot of this comes back to whether both spouses work and hence contribute financially to the household. Personally I would NEVER be in a relationship where I am solely responsible for earning money. I prefer a marriage of equals, partners, 60/40 on some things, 70/30 some others, 50/50 when possible but NEVER 100/0. If I want a maid, childcare worker or cook, I can hire them. I want to be with an educated professional, not 'mommy.'
Any professional, educated person isn't going to accept scrounging around for a few bucks a month 'for herself.' That's insulting. So too is the notion that the man has some kind of God-given authority over money, just because. Why are the posters in this thread so focused on being 'in control' of money? What, Western women are too smart for you, so there's always the docile, 'if you say so, dear' Korean woman? No thanks.
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| If one partner is more financially astute and more disciplined with money, I see nothing wrong with that partner assuming greater financial control, husband or wife. Use each others strengths of character to better you all as a whole. |
At least there's a bit of enlightenment around here. +1 for litebear and PatrickGHBusan as well. |
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big_fella1
Joined: 08 Dec 2005
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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My point is that the Korean arrangement where the husband hands his whole pay packet over to the wife and then gets an allowance is unacceptable and I reiterate go to Gangnam if you want to see why this is a bad idea, although that may show why husbands shouldn't be trusted after hours too.
I must admit this practice does keep many English teachers employed but it encourages dishonesty with regard to secret accounts and other shenanigans like advancing credit cards, hiding bonuses and the second monthly salary payment.
Even if I was married to Warren Buffet, I would want money to be a joint responsibility, although I would probably use the words "Yes dear" more often.
I believe money should be a joint responsibility, my wife believes it should be solely hers. She has access to my accounts, she has a family card off my credit card and if it wasn't for the Real Name Bank Account laws here they would be joint accounts. I have no debt or contracts in my wife's name, if the company won't put it in my name, they don't get the business.
If you agree with working and having no say where the money goes then good for you. But every family has a choice.
Based on money skill my 18 month old daughter beats both of us, she saves 100% of what she gets and spends mum and dads money if she wants or needs something. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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| big_fella1 wrote: |
My point is that the Korean arrangement where the husband hands his whole pay packet over to the wife and then gets an allowance is unacceptable and I reiterate go to Gangnam if you want to see why this is a bad idea, although that may show why husbands shouldn't be trusted after hours too.
I must admit this practice does keep many English teachers employed but it encourages dishonesty with regard to secret accounts and other shenanigans like advancing credit cards, hiding bonuses and the second monthly salary payment.
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How does it do that? (see bolded part above) |
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akcrono
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| big_fella1 wrote: |
My point is that the Korean arrangement where the husband hands his whole pay packet over to the wife and then gets an allowance is unacceptable and I reiterate go to Gangnam if you want to see why this is a bad idea, although that may show why husbands shouldn't be trusted after hours too.
I must admit this practice does keep many English teachers employed but it encourages dishonesty with regard to secret accounts and other shenanigans like advancing credit cards, hiding bonuses and the second monthly salary payment.
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How does it do that? (see bolded part above) |
The woman has money to spring for a hagwon. Generally, women that don't work use their children as a source of pride. |
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Modernist
Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Location: The 90s
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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| women that don't work use their children as a source of pride. |
Of course, what else can they do? It's just another negative consequence of at-home parenting. The child[ren] come to see themselves as the center of everything, because for several hours every day they ARE the center of at least one person's complete existence, a person with literally nothing else to concern themselves aside from that kid or kids. Hence the narcissism and self-regard and epidemic of 'specialness' among kids born in the last ~10 years.
Korea and many Asian countries have this problem particularly bad because of the absurd levels of gender discrimination, especially for highly-skilled women cut off from whole sectors of the economy, coupled with these antiquated notions of women's 'proper' role in a family, and the low average fertility rate. The result is a LOT of spoiled, coddled kids, seen everywhere in places like Gangnam. |
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rainism
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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Choose your poison:
affinity/addiction to "shopping"
vs
affinity to drinking, gambling and mistresses.
and react accordingly.
No one other than myself will ever be controlling my money. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 12:15 am Post subject: |
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| Modernist wrote: |
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| women that don't work use their children as a source of pride. |
Of course, what else can they do? It's just another negative consequence of at-home parenting. The child[ren] come to see themselves as the center of everything, because for several hours every day they ARE the center of at least one person's complete existence, a person with literally nothing else to concern themselves aside from that kid or kids. Hence the narcissism and self-regard and epidemic of 'specialness' among kids born in the last ~10 years.
Korea and many Asian countries have this problem particularly bad because of the absurd levels of gender discrimination, especially for highly-skilled women cut off from whole sectors of the economy, coupled with these antiquated notions of women's 'proper' role in a family, and the low average fertility rate. The result is a LOT of spoiled, coddled kids, seen everywhere in places like Gangnam. |
You're right. Korea should take a lesson from Britain on how to raise its youth.
Or you get a lot more kids who actually do have a sense of family responsibility and the need to conduct themselves in a semi-respectable social manner.
You mention neighborhoods in Seoul and the youth there. Say what you will, I can walk through ANY neighborhood in Seoul and not have to worry about my physical safety from the youth.
Can you say the same about back home? Now who should be lecturing who on how to raise kids. |
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eamo
Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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| Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:24 am Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| Modernist wrote: |
| Quote: |
| women that don't work use their children as a source of pride. |
Of course, what else can they do? It's just another negative consequence of at-home parenting. The child[ren] come to see themselves as the center of everything, because for several hours every day they ARE the center of at least one person's complete existence, a person with literally nothing else to concern themselves aside from that kid or kids. Hence the narcissism and self-regard and epidemic of 'specialness' among kids born in the last ~10 years.
Korea and many Asian countries have this problem particularly bad because of the absurd levels of gender discrimination, especially for highly-skilled women cut off from whole sectors of the economy, coupled with these antiquated notions of women's 'proper' role in a family, and the low average fertility rate. The result is a LOT of spoiled, coddled kids, seen everywhere in places like Gangnam. |
You're right. Korea should take a lesson from Britain on how to raise its youth.
Or you get a lot more kids who actually do have a sense of family responsibility and the need to conduct themselves in a semi-respectable social manner.
You mention neighborhoods in Seoul and the youth there. Say what you will, I can walk through ANY neighborhood in Seoul and not have to worry about my physical safety from the youth.
Can you say the same about back home? Now who should be lecturing who on how to raise kids. |
I've always thought about this, as the lovely feeling of complete safety when walking around any Korean neighborhood contrasts so much with the horrible feeling of an impending kicking which everyone gets walking around most parts of my home city (Belfast, N. Ireland). It's one of the main reasons I stayed in Korea in the days before I got married.
I think it's a societal trade-off. The western countries produce more life-experienced, individualistic, creative and artistic people by allowing a lot of freedom early in life. But the downside is you also produce a lot of anti-social morons.
In East Asia you get much more predictable (over 80% of teenagers expect to go to college!! Compared to about 20% back home) and conditioned people which gives us this lovely lack of random violence.......not that I haven't seen a fair few fights in Korea.....but the difference is it's usually about something and you have to ratchet things up verbally quite a bit before blows are struck.
Education is key. People who graduate Uni tend not to become the kind of hoodie thugs we saw disgracing their neighborhoods and attacking their own community last week in London. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:28 am Post subject: |
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| eamo wrote: |
| Steelrails wrote: |
| Modernist wrote: |
| Quote: |
| women that don't work use their children as a source of pride. |
Of course, what else can they do? It's just another negative consequence of at-home parenting. The child[ren] come to see themselves as the center of everything, because for several hours every day they ARE the center of at least one person's complete existence, a person with literally nothing else to concern themselves aside from that kid or kids. Hence the narcissism and self-regard and epidemic of 'specialness' among kids born in the last ~10 years.
Korea and many Asian countries have this problem particularly bad because of the absurd levels of gender discrimination, especially for highly-skilled women cut off from whole sectors of the economy, coupled with these antiquated notions of women's 'proper' role in a family, and the low average fertility rate. The result is a LOT of spoiled, coddled kids, seen everywhere in places like Gangnam. |
You're right. Korea should take a lesson from Britain on how to raise its youth.
Or you get a lot more kids who actually do have a sense of family responsibility and the need to conduct themselves in a semi-respectable social manner.
You mention neighborhoods in Seoul and the youth there. Say what you will, I can walk through ANY neighborhood in Seoul and not have to worry about my physical safety from the youth.
Can you say the same about back home? Now who should be lecturing who on how to raise kids. |
I've always thought about this, as the lovely feeling of complete safety when walking around any Korean neighborhood contrasts so much with the horrible feeling of an impending kicking which everyone gets walking around most parts of my home city (Belfast, N. Ireland). It's one of the main reasons I stayed in Korea in the days before I got married.
I think it's a societal trade-off. The western countries produce more life-experienced, individualistic, creative and artistic people by allowing a lot of freedom early in life. But the downside is you also produce a lot of anti-social morons.
In East Asia you get much more predictable (over 80% of teenagers expect to go to college!! Compared to about 20% back home) and conditioned people which gives us this lovely lack of random violence.......not that I haven't seen a fair few fights in Korea.....but the difference is it's usually about something and you have to ratchet things up verbally quite a bit before blows are struck.
Education is key. People who graduate Uni tend not to become the kind of hoodie thugs we saw disgracing their neighborhoods and attacking their own community last week in London. |
Agree 100%.
Korea is great for stability. America/West is great for exceptionalism.
At times ones good and at other times, the other is. Of course the best is a happy medium.
Believe it or not, I do find myself irritated by the lack of more creative and expansive outlets not being available. Weird, in this time I think Korea needs more of it while "back home" needs a little less of it. Whereas a few decades ago "creativity" was exactly what "the west" needed and sticktuitivness was exactly what Korea needed. Now both are lingering in the past. |
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