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DanseurVertical
Joined: 24 Nov 2010
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 Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:59 pm Post subject: Re: some advice to prospective teachers in Korea |
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| ciannagh wrote: |
Do you do couchsurfing at all? It's a worldwide network and there are over 2000 listed in Seoul (the active number is probably half that) but it's a really great way to meet people and go on outings. You can also offer to meet up and hang out with people who are travelers and passing through, etc. I'd recommend checking it out. |
I don't actually, but I'll check it out sometime, especially for when I travel elsewhere.
But meeting people in Seoul has not been difficult for me. The trouble is establishing any meaningful connection, in practice. I almost no longer want to meet new people who live far off, because anymore it seems pretty fruitless.
If you come to Korea and already have a solid friendship with someone who lives 1 - 2 hours away, then you and your friend will be willing to sacrifice a little to see each other. But when you simply meet someone who lives 1 - 2 hours away from you, unless you're both lonely or able to connect on the basis of something pretty rare and substantial, then developing a meaningful friendship is unlikely.
In October, for example, I travelled an hour forty minutes to an area in Seoul where I had two Korean acquaintances and two foreign acquaintances. All of them I had met in Seoul previously. One needed to clean his apartment, two were incommunicado, and the fourth had to work (on Saturday night...) So after climbing alone I returned (hour forty minutes) to my boring little neighborhood where I know no one. Among the four, I've since seen one on one occasion (for climbing). When your weekends are often spent in equally discouraging ways, contentment is pretty difficult. If I didn't enjoy teaching, I would have left Korea months ago. |
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BananaBan
Joined: 16 Nov 2011
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| so are you saying its more of a distance issue then other things? (i.e. korean/westerners not being to open to friendships). |
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DanseurVertical
Joined: 24 Nov 2010
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:28 pm Post subject: |
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| BananaBan wrote: |
| so are you saying its more of a distance issue then other things? (i.e. korean/westerners not being to open to friendships). |
It may be more an issue of distance. Friendships with Korean females may be an exception. And that's complicated by many factors, like social / familial expectations, language barrier, them working or studying all the time, etc. Still, about Koreans in general, I've found them and their society to be pretty damned closed off.
If in your immediate area you can connect well with another foreigner who wants to do things with you outside a bar, then you're fortunate. And if that person has other meaningful connections in Korea, then you'll do okay. The crux is, how do you meet such a person in the first place, if not in a bar?
Sometimes I wonder if my life here would have been very different if I had myself just gone to the local bars relatively often and been less selective about who I might meet. The trouble, then, is meeting people whose values are totally different from your own, with whom you don't really want to be friends. And then seeing those people often, because you live in the same neighborhood. |
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BananaBan
Joined: 16 Nov 2011
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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this is what i dont get
half the camp says k-girls love foreign men, you just got to be tall, dress decent and not be an ass.
then the other half says that k-girls stick to their own and what not. |
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DanseurVertical
Joined: 24 Nov 2010
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| BananaBan wrote: |
this is what i dont get
half the camp says k-girls love foreign men, you just got to be tall, dress decent and not be an ass.
then the other half says that k-girls stick to their own and what not. |
That's a big topic. So I won't get into it here. Belongs in a different thread! |
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AlastairKirby
Joined: 29 Aug 2011
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 2:09 am Post subject: |
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Sorry about my previous comment about ego. From your last few posts it is clear you've thought about this very deeply. Also a bit of bitterness on my part because I work out but can't shake my gut. I wish I could say I was an athlete!
It did sound at first a bit like "I'm an athlete, why can't I go rock climbing. All other people want to do is drink. I'm better than that." But you were probably just venting.
| Quote: |
| Sometimes I wonder if my life here would have been very different if I had myself just gone to the local bars relatively often and been less selective about who I might meet. The trouble, then, is meeting people whose values are totally different from your own, with whom you don't really want to be friends. |
Many of the "friends" we have are merely acquaintances. Lots of people I met in Korea were people who didn't share my values, but we were willing to put such things aside for short term companionship. But I had half a dozen really solid friends. The reality is that you will meet most people in Korea in bars. Most of my Korean friends are teetotal but we met in bars.
Is this a Facebook thing? If you only have a few friends then well... that's normal. Dude, it sounds like your life is a lot like mine was before I left for Korea. I had a great life in Korea and I consider myself very lucky. But the main thing bringing me back are the friends I left behind. Without friends life anywhere is going to be terrible.
So good luck with the rest of your stay, try and keep your spirits up. And sorry about the ego comment. I think that said more about my own insecurities.
P.S. Where can you go rock climbing in Seoul? How much does it cost? I wouldn't mind trying it when I get back. |
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