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radcon
Joined: 23 May 2011
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 Posted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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| itiswhatitis wrote: |
There was 1 female store guard, 1 male and 1 female cop. One of the Korean dudes repeatedly slapped the female officer in the face. I wanted to intervene but after seeing so many of my friends here get burned I kept walking. |
Why would you want to intervene when a cop is getting a beating? Where are the cop buddies? Where is her club, taser, gun? |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Like I always say, check your common sense at Incheon Airport. You can pick it up on the way out. Either help and risk deportation or a criminal record or keep on walking just like you would if a gang was doing a hit on someone. Hate to say that, but Korea is seriously effed up sometimes. |
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geldedgoat
Joined: 05 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 11:27 am Post subject: |
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| optik404 wrote: |
| geldedgoat wrote: |
I've intervened in one of these incidents once before. Right outside my apartment, I saw a 200+ pound well-built and very drunk ajosshi elbowing an elderly woman's head into the rear windshield of a car while simultaneously kicking her equally elderly husband's head into a low brick wall. I pushed through the ring of gawking spectators, jumped on his back, wrapped him in a half nelson, and leaned back with all my weight until he finally let off the old couple. When he caught his breath, turned to see who had interrupted his assault, and discovered it was a foreigner, the anger immediately melted from his face, and he - I sh*t you not - begin trying to practice his English with me. I just pointed at the bleeding couple on the ground and repeated, over and over, "Old people. No hit."
And that was that for about a month, until he followed me home one night and started drunkenly rambling about... something. He even had the gall to call the cops when I refused to let him in my apartment. When they, along with the cops that we called, eventually showed up, argued over which individual was actually in the wrong, and forced the drunk guy into our apartment, it turned out that all he had wanted was to explain that I had ripped his shirt during the fight and that that made him upset. He left shortly after that, and the cops followed after apologizing to us and giving me the most embarrassed and pained "please-understand-we're-not-all-like-that" look I think I'll ever see.
Not having been in the OP's situation I can't pass judgment on his decision not to intervene more directly, though I will say that I generally find it repugnant that so many are so willing to find any excuse to avoid helping those in immediate, possibly life-saving need. Then again, I'm kinduva stick in the mud when it comes to basic morality. |
This whole story sounds made up. |
I just remembered a couple more fun details. After I jumped on the guy's back, that suddenly mobilized the spectators into action. Did they perhaps try to help the elderly couple to their feet? Try to help separate the man from his victims? Nope. They started yelling at me to be careful that I didn't step on the woman I just jumped in to save. And speaking of her, care to guess what her reaction was? As soon as she was able, she got up and started slapping the drunk guy in the face, managing to catch me with several blows in the process. I received neither apology nor thanks. |
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korea.teacher
Joined: 04 Feb 2009
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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I've had similar experiences, unfortunately.
One time, I just walked up, stared at the guy and everything stopped.
Another time, I took a whistle out from my backpack, blew it and when onlookers started staring, everything stopped.
Last time, I called the tourist office, gave my location and stayed on the phone while they contacted the local police and were on their way.
It's frustrating and difficult to comprehend when you see a helpless woman being attacked on the streets, but as a general rule, don't get physically involved in situations overseas. They can change very quickly and become difficult for you because of differences in language and culture.
You did good. You contacted someone and help came. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Prior to taking any sort of action in this situation, it is very important to first approach the gentleman dismantling the lady's face and politely inquire whether she did in fact steal his meth and/or scratched up another girl's face, because if she did, then she most certainly deserved this and much more, hence begging for a proper stoning. |
What I'm saying is that the clues and signs we can use back home to determine if some innocent lady is getting beaten or if some ratchet-ass nonsense is going down are not available to us. I mean you may stumble upon a bus driver beating the crap out of a lady, and think its awful, but what happened before you came on the scene?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opaEKCnsbOI
Korea has ratchets too. We don't know how the situation began. Maybe the lady defrauded the person out of 100,000 bucks. Maybe the lady was allowing her kid to bully the other dude's daughter to near-suicide. Maybe she did something unlawful to the guy's family, and because of better connections she got away with it.
Now more than likely it is a domestic and the dude is a piece of crap who deserves a beatdown on the spot. If you can determine it as such, then fine intervene. But with minimal awareness of the language and the situation, you run the risk of getting involved in a situation that is already resolving itself.
Without understanding the language well and without being there to see how things started, you don't know what the cause is and automatically siding with one person or another based on gender might not always be the best course. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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| geldedgoat wrote: |
Not having been in the OP's situation I can't pass judgment on his decision not to intervene more directly, though I will say that I generally find it repugnant that so many are so willing to find any excuse to avoid helping those in immediate, possibly life-saving need. Then again, I'm kinduva stick in the mud when it comes to basic morality. |
The only problem is, in this country, basic morality as we define it is turned on its head or is very rare at best. Look at the response you received from bystanders. To them, apparently the moral thing to do was to leave the poor assaulter and his victims in peace. By intervening you may have "shamed" the assaulter and that might have hurt his feelings. That's just immoral, don't you know? Plus, once a foreigner enters the fray, everything changes. Superman himself could fly in to save the day, and they'd probably start cursing at him and call the police on him, changing the story so that HE beat up the old couple and then tried to pee on them afterward, then tried to rape a couple innocent bystanders. Not to mention the assaulter would then try sue him for 20 million won because Superman scratched his cheek when he pulled him from the battered old couple. There's your basic morality.
That said, I still think you did good. |
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beentheredonethat777
Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Location: AsiaHaven
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:23 pm Post subject: Re: Did I do the right thing? |
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Last edited by beentheredonethat777 on Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:28 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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beentheredonethat777
Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Location: AsiaHaven
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:24 pm Post subject: Re: Did I do the right thing? |
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| bmaw01 wrote: |
This event occurred a few days ago.
I just got done work. I walked about a block and when I rounded the corner I saw a few 40+ year old Korean men standing outside a restaurant. I'm about 2 minutes away from my apartment and it's about 7:00 at night. It's quite dark now. I hear screaming and I heard hitting and possibly punching. Right across the street and under a car garage a man was beating up a lady. He had her pinned in a corner and was just pounding the crap out of her. I looked around and nobody was doing anything. I'm like what the hell. Someone should do something. I was going to jump this idiot but decided against it. I rushed home and called a coworker. They took care of the situation because when I went back I saw a cop car. The cops were moving so slowly!
Should I have gotten involved? Maybe I could have tackled him and waited for the police? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don't like to see women getting abused and beaten. |
NEVER EVER GET INVOLVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You could end up in big trouble, going to jail, paying blood money, getting deported, and the list goes on and on. This was the advice that many Koreans gave to me years ago, and as hard as it is at times, I follow it.
Others haven't heeded this advice and have ended up in some very bad situations. This is not the Western world. Here, they call it "family business"
if a man is beating the hades out of his wife/girlfriend/child.( At least that's what several of my long time Korean friends told me.) |
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Mr. BlackCat
Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Location: Insert witty remark HERE
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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Unfortunately domestic abuse is very different here (well, it's unfortunate that it exists at all). Back home we're taught that women never deserve to be hit by a man (although that lesson hasn't apparently sunk in for all. See: SteelRails' posts here).
In Korea, in couples, the woman often asks for it. I'm not saying that to be sexist or shocking, I mean it literally. Look at the kids and teens here, always beating on each other. Couples "play" fight all the time. And when they want drama they will get "real". It tells the man that he's big and strong, and it affirms for the woman that the man loves her enough to beat her. Watch any Korean drama or music video, and you'll see the man hitting the woman, her crying, the man having a few drinks (and crying), then them dramatically getting back together because the whole incident just proved how much the love each other.
Of course in the West we have the women who will say that their man still loves them, he just gets crazy sometimes. That's more Stockholm syndrome, and many of those women are just scared of breaking it off and few of them would get angry if you intervened to help them. Here, it's part of the whole courting experience. It's not usually just out of a fit of rage and the women egg it on to be 'dramatic'. That's why they'll get so angry if you interfere. It's like breaking up a make out session to them.
Not saying all Korean women think this way or that it makes it acceptable. Beating on someone physically weaker than you is cowardly and pathetic. But the one time I tried to break a bad situation up was when I saw this young man pulling his gf by her hair while she was wailing in "pain". To keep it under control I just confronted him neutrally suggesting that pulling a girl by her hair isn't very nice. He just let go in complete shock, but the girl came right for me and started hitting me. This was on the busy road in Gangnam on a Saturday night, btw.
It seems like Koreans stop maturing around the age of 15, so boys still think the way to get a girl's attention is by pulling her pigtails. And the girls are immature enough to go along with it. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| (although that lesson hasn't apparently sunk in for all. See: SteelRails' posts here). |
There's rules for civilians and there are rules for criminals. Civilians- Never hit a woman. Criminals- ....meh. There are women out there that will start bar fights, that will bully, steal, injure, beat, scam, cheat, etc. They are relying on you never being willing to cross that line in order to get what they want. They also know the rules going in. If a woman is an active criminal committing crime against other criminals, society's normal rules aren't going to apply. What are you going to do, complain to the police that some hooker stole 10 grams of blow from you? Give her a stern talking to?
If you know both people are civilians and you can see things develop, by all means, intervene. Just make sure you know what happened.
Korea has a fair amount of organized crime, hookers hooked on meth or scrips, etc.
| Quote: |
| It seems like Koreans stop maturing around the age of 15 |
If someone goes on like this about "maturity" and applying it to a whole country where they exist as temporary immigrant labor, they themselves usually need some "maturity" in their thought processes. |
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Smithington
Joined: 14 Dec 2011
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Nolos wrote: |
| OP is Captain save-a-ho. It doesn't work, and she will side with her abuser 9 times out of 10 before a stanky looking esl teacher. |
You are a very unpleasant type of person, aren't you? Intervening to help a woman being battered falls under the category of 'save-a-ho'? I'm sure your mother, sisters and girlfriend (as if) would be proud of you. And the "stanking looking esl teacher" just makes you an idiot.
I get a strong feeling from your posts that you are an emotionally under-developed sixteen year old. And if you're not, well that's just sad. |
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cabeza
Joined: 29 Sep 2012
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| Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Smithington wrote: |
| Nolos wrote: |
| OP is Captain save-a-ho. It doesn't work, and she will side with her abuser 9 times out of 10 before a stanky looking esl teacher. |
You are a very unpleasant type of person, aren't you? Intervening to help a woman being battered falls under the category of 'save-a-ho'? I'm sure your mother, sisters and girlfriend (as if) would be proud of you. And the "stanking looking esl teacher" just makes you an idiot.
I get a strong feeling from your posts that you are an emotionally under-developed sixteen year old. And if you're not, well that's just sad. |
You don't know the half of it. He's trapped in Korea after marrying an ajumma who threatens him with divorce if he uses the internet too much. He loathes his life and so has made various forum accounts and also posts in some sports forum where he pretends to be a military attache/weapons dealer/spy who has weekly meetings with Barrack Obama. It's beyond sad. It's sociopathic. |
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geldedgoat
Joined: 05 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 6:14 am Post subject: |
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| Mr. BlackCat wrote: |
| Back home we're brainwashed to believe that women never deserve to be hit by a man |
Curious how that line is always treated as a one-way street. |
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Mr. BlackCat
Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Location: Insert witty remark HERE
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| Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| Quote: |
| It seems like Koreans stop maturing around the age of 15 |
If someone goes on like this about "maturity" and applying it to a whole country where they exist as temporary immigrant labor, they themselves usually need some "maturity" in their thought processes. |
What does me being a temporary labourer have anything to do with it? Actually, the fact that I can move overseas and live a good life would indicate a higher maturity level.
Anyway, as is your MO, you've taken one sentence out of context and applied your own meaning to it to fit into your victimization complex again. I was talking about one specific thing and used the word "seem", implying that it wasn't a fact. But it doesn't matter to you. Every white person in Korea is out to get Koreans at every turn and Koreans can do no wrong. If a Korean man is beating on a Korean woman then she must be a criminal who deserves it. Love how you'll claim Korea has no crime or drugs in other posts, but in this particular case where it suits your agenda suddenly there are crack hoes on every corner that deserve a beating. |
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Mr. BlackCat
Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Location: Insert witty remark HERE
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| Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| geldedgoat wrote: |
| Mr. BlackCat wrote: |
| Back home we're brainwashed to believe that women never deserve to be hit by a man |
Curious how that line is always treated as a one-way street. |
Yes, we all know the white straight man is the real victim in the West.
Anyway, yes no one should attack someone obviously weaker than them. Sorry if that means men have to be more responsible for their actions in this case than women. Life is just so unfair for men around the world. |
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