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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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 Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:43 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
| Dan The Chainsawman wrote: |
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME! |
"Lame" applies very well to the idiotic drivel you posted. And corporal couldn't tell a bedtime story let alone spell correctly. Criticism is for those who can't do it themselves. |
 My, so defensive, and he is wrong at the top of his voice. Criticism, even the negative kind, has its place, and writers of all people should be able to weigh it and decide for themselves whether or not it has any validity. Otherwise you come across as a schoolboy who, having gotten pushed on the playground, can do nothing but run away crying "he started it!" |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:07 am Post subject: |
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| Corporal wrote: |
| rapier wrote: |
| Dan The Chainsawman wrote: |
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME! |
"Lame" applies very well to the idiotic drivel you posted. And corporal couldn't tell a bedtime story let alone spell correctly. Criticism is for those who can't do it themselves. |
My, so defensive, and he is wrong at the top of his voice. Criticism, even the negative kind, has its place, and writers of all people should be able to weigh it and decide for themselves whether or not it has any validity. Otherwise you come across as a schoolboy who, having gotten pushed on the playground, can do nothing but run away crying "he started it!" |
Corporal read the title of this thread. It is for writers to contribute a taster of their work to be enjoyed by whoever.
You are welcome to contribute..(or dissapear).
I'll even write the first line for you.
"once upon a time there was an irritable expat woman in korea who thumped her keyboard nonsensically day after day. then someone challenged her to write something decent. And then.................(fill in the space).........." |
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waterbaby
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:13 am Post subject: |
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| Corporal wrote: |
| Criticism, even the negative kind, has its place, and writers of all people should be able to weigh it and decide for themselves whether or not it has any validity. Otherwise you come across as a schoolboy who, having gotten pushed on the playground, can do nothing but run away crying "he started it!" |
Fair enough. But then there are those that just like to shoot down others so they feel better about themself. And that's just not helpful to anyone. Many writers, especially those that are new to the craft and not 'professional' should be nurtured rather than shot down.
There's a big difference between descriptive criticism and prescriptive criticism. The latter being the easiest to give and I'm sure what we'd see the most of around here (especially judging by this thread). The former requires a certain tact and diplomacy to be truly effective. |
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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:19 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
Corporal read the title of this thread. It is for writers to contribute a taster of their work to be enjoyed by whoever.
You are welcome to contribute..(or dissapear). |
Do not attempt to dictate what posters can and cannot post. If you share your private work, then you invite criticism. If you do not like that criticism, that is your problem, not ours. Personally, I have no desire to share anything of value with you, which is why I haven't posted anything of mine. Nor have I commented on what you posted (other than to question the timeline), so there's no reason to continue being so defensive. |
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Tiberious aka Sparkles
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: I'm one cool cat!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:44 am Post subject: Re: Novel writers..give us a taste |
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| rapier wrote: |
| Yet in your blind spot baked 70 houses perhaps, blinking and winking in the heat, echoing to the sound of bored and idle dogs. |
I won't bother asking how houses can "wink and blink," nor will I bother about how they can "echo to the sound of." What I really want to know is how one qualifies a dog as being bored, exactly. Or did you mean that the dogs had holes in them? That certainly would account for their idleness.
(I think the above is an example of the descriptive criticism waterbaby mentioned.)
Sparkles*_* |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:54 am Post subject: Re: Novel writers..give us a taste |
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[quote="Tiberious aka Sparkles"]
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| how houses can "wink and blink," |
windows opening and closing, catching the sunlight. Glimpses of light reflecting off the whitewashed walls as you drive by.
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| nor will I bother about how they can "echo to the sound of." |
The barking of dogs comes from the houses. They appear to echo as the dogs reply to eachother.
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| What I really want to know is how one qualifies a dog as being bored, exactly. |
Chained up for half the day.
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| (I think the above is an example of the descriptive criticism waterbaby mentioned.)Sparkles*_* |
Thanks, you're welcome.
As I see it, creative writing does not have to be logical, because life itself isn't. |
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waterbaby
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Baking Gord a Cheescake pie
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:12 am Post subject: Re: Novel writers..give us a taste |
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| Tiberious aka Sparkles wrote: |
| (I think the above is an example of the descriptive criticism waterbaby mentioned.) |
I think that your criticism of Rapier's work could be quite helpful if it was fleshed out a little bit more. I do feel that what you've written there is not quite in the true spirit of descriptive critisism. In my opinion, it leans a little more to the prescriptive kind which can be most unhelpful. If your criticism was descriptive, you may have offered some constructive suggestions for improvement such as...
"I think it would make more sense to me if the doors and windows winked as they were opened and closed or as the light shone off them in the heat. I didn't quite get how they 'winked'"
and
"I'm not that familiar with the behaviour of dogs, however, your description of their boredom didn't ring true. I'm left wondering how to determine exactly how to know if a dog is bored?"
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Pligganease
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Location: The deep south...
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:03 am Post subject: |
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| My grandfather wasn't a rich man, but he was wise with his money. He had owned a small grocery in the tiny farming community of Princeton, North Carolina. The depression had been hard on that town, but my grandfather and the church saw that no one in town went without food. Often, my grandparents would invite families to their home to eat supper. He would extend credit to anyone he knew needed it, even though he knew that most of the money would never be paid back. I can remember him packing loads of food into his truck and taking it to the local colored churches, just because he knew that he should and the majority of the white folks in Princeton could care less. He lived by "the right thing to do." His kindness and love for others was apparent in everything he did, including helping to raise his grandson. |
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Dan The Chainsawman
Joined: 05 May 2005
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| Apparently sense of humor seems not to be a consideration these here days. |
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Dan The Chainsawman
Joined: 05 May 2005
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| Apparently sense of humor seems not to be a consideration these here days. |
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VanIslander
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:04 am Post subject: |
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Here's the endproduct of my first hour, a tiresome effort following a long day of haunted housing and candy-dispensing games. It's from what will be chapter four at the earliest, or five or six if I extend areas of my outline.
*Yawn* G'night. I'll be back at it by 7 am.
| VanIslander just wrote: |
| Off we go to the dinosaur capital for an abortion then. It��s what she wants, to avoid disappointing the mom who demands someone in the family finish college. The older sister had settled down with overactive kids and the brother always cruised along the road most traveled, which in their house meant he��d joined a union, got dirty fingernails and married a bossy betterthanthou. Does the wife beat him like his mom hits my girlfriend��s dad? Not that I��ve ever seen anything of the matter except for the shame in the daughter��s eyes when she tells me about the small man everyone likes and oughta call ��Bert�� as he seems as such, and you feel like you��re his Ernie until, er, Mrs. Snufalufagus walks in. Sociology via Sesame Street. Thank god I��m a business major on my way to pay for a ��procedure�� done faster and cheaper in a town an hour away across flat prairie. I push the gas pedal down and wonder if the four-door loaner will keep up with the sporty import in the outside lane. Everywhere not on my left is flat. It��s cloudy and dry. I feel her hand on my leg. She��s gonna fulfill my whispered wish, unaware that in a few months I��ll take the bus back without her and without another thought of her for the next decade. I am in the moment, for a moment. |
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Buff
Joined: 07 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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"F***. Why do lighters always dive to the bottom of your bag the second you toss them in?"
"I don't know. I think wise men have pondered the question for ages," said Carrie. "I just keep a ton of lighters around so I'm guaranteed to find one when I need it. Easier that way."
Amelia silently agreed as her fingers rushed her trusty blue Bic at the bottom of her bag. She loved this lighter. It never ran out of lighter fluid even though she'd had it for seven months. She knew it was seven months because she bought it the day she saw two pink lines on a home pregnancy test that she passed. Or failed. The day she started smoking again.
The women were walking down Clark Street towards The Pick-Me-Up Cafe. The Pick-Me-Up was their place. Ever since they met during their sophomore year of college, they had been attempting to drain the bottomless pots of coffee served at the diner. Tonight was no different.
------
So it's crap but I didn't do ANY planning at all. Just sat down and wrote.[/i] |
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Buff
Joined: 07 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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| oops. double post. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:41 am Post subject: |
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Vanislander wrote
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| She��s gonna fulfill my whispered wish |
and
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| the dinosaur capital |
and
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| "I am in the moment, for a moment |
Nice lines. Alliteration and double entendre, easy on the ear.
Buff- interesting, very female train of thought going on.
ok.. heres a bit more of mine.
"I suppose the little church with its outsize bell, intoning a dull and distant chime every sunday, could be said to be the very symbol of the settlement.The only time I remember it was when I was not already in church: then it shamed me into wariness. In truth, Sunday, like every day was best spent counting the birds on the wires, or watching the helicopters passing overhead.It was amazing what lived in the sky: long lines of birds in silent v's, or airplanes with 2 bodies, talking their way toward the mountain and cooling the pained earth with their shadows.
All day the lemon yellow birds played music in the white thorn trees. Sometimes one dropped into its shade, and lay forever folded in its soft warm wings. They died by piercing their breast on the long, white thorns, I thought. The most beautiful jewels, smelling of rich warm perfume, I wanted to keep them forever.
In the far corner, nestled comfortably amongst the rocks, a prickly cactus stood against the horizon. One christmas it showed sweet golden knobs of flowers. "only once or twice in its life" my Dad said.. a flowering cactus was a rare and special event, and we should not touch its precious blooms- for it had thorns to defend itself. In fact, the garden, despite its beauty, was an exceedingly painful place; of stings, blood, and tears, and a sweet ashy dust that sat in the mouth like a wafer.Yet it blessed the feet with new green grass, thick clay and shiny, mysterious stones of a thousand faces. |
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Tiberious aka Sparkles
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: I'm one cool cat!
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| Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:47 am Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
Vanislander wrote
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| She��s gonna fulfill my whispered wish |
and
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| the dinosaur capital |
and
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| "I am in the moment, for a moment |
Nice lines. Alliteration and double entendre, easy on the ear.
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Do you even know what alliteration is, Birdman? I don't think two words beginning with W really qualify.
Tiberious aka Pretention Policeman*_*
PS - You're under arrest. |
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