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The evil penguin
Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....
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 Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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| shantaram wrote: |
| Two hot lesbians |
The Evil Penguin gets so excited by their appearance that he immediately hyperventilates, falls backwards off his bed, and knocks himself out in the process by hitting his head on his slightly pornographic but highly tasteful and artistic handmade (made out of aluminium foil, milk bottles, and chewing gum) lifesize scupture of Kermo riding a shetland pony wearing a bikini and an adjuma visor. The pony is wearing the bikini and adjuma visor that is.... The kermo in the sculpture is wearing a wonderwoman costume two sizes too small and carrying a whip (with soft frilly lashes/tassels that tickle more than actually sting when used).
The heroic penguin therefore is rendered completely unconscious and unware of the procession of the other visitors into the room (as described in the few posts preceding this one......). The Evil Penguin begins to come around just when the geographically confused polar bear walked in... but decided that as polar bears (escpecilly geographically confused ones) have a habit of eating penguins (not in the good way) he would fall unconscious again.
So the situation (for anybody who is still reading this crap) is that the evil penguin is laying naked (except for his fish-skin g-string) on the carpet and ............. is needing a hand ....ahem.... assistance.... to finish the story....
Just then, the door opens....... |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:54 am Post subject: |
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| A middle-aged ajumma, an escapee from a No Tell Bus Tour, with a tight perm and wearing a visor, paisley pants and a plaid shirt. She sees the Penguin lieing there naked and rips her shirt open. She shouts, "Evil, darling! Take me! Tame me! I'm all yours." |
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The evil penguin
Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:38 am Post subject: |
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| Ya-ta Boy wrote: |
| A middle-aged ajumma, an escapee from a No Tell Bus Tour, with a tight perm and wearing a visor, paisley pants and a plaid shirt. She sees the Penguin lieing there naked and rips her shirt open. She shouts, "Evil, darling! Take me! Tame me! I'm all yours." |
"Okey dokey" quacked the evil penguin. He tore away her pink tracksuit bottoms and rubber granny panties and was horrifed to discover that the rumours were true: Ajummas actually DON'T have a gender....
Instead of the mysterious valley he was preparing to conquer.... he discovered a demonic wrinkled face screeching out instructions to do nasty things such as push in front of people in line-ups and run people up the back of their ankles with shopping trolleys in E-mart. Very similar to voldamorts face on professor quirrel... except for the location....... The ajumma secret was discovered.....
So repulsed was he that he could no longer think of anything but escape (and Kermo.... not that a pants-less ajumma reminded the evil penguin of kermo..... oh no no.... he just kept thinking about her (kermo- not the ajumma) and what she'd (kermo- not the ajumma) look like covered in peanut butter and breadcrumbs......)
Faltering for a few steps as the evil penguin tried to recollect when his fantasizes began involving sandwich spreads, the heroic flightless bird leapt out the window and flew away. In his helicopter which he always keeps running just in case kermo telephones....
Deciding to stay in a love motel for the night, the evil penguin books a room at the meloveyoulongtime yogwan..... kinky style with a round bed and mirrors on the ceiling.
As the now exhausted penguin drifts off to sleep (after making his nightly call to wish his mum goodnight) the door to his room quietly opens...... and in walks............. |
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nicholas_chiasson
Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Location: Samcheok
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:54 am Post subject: |
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| -A russian trophey wife with a bucket of fried chicken. |
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Bondgirl
Joined: 26 May 2007
Location: in my Aston Martin
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:39 am Post subject: |
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| Touche, nicholas_chiasson!!! |
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SuperFly
Joined: 09 Jul 2003
Location: In the doghouse
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 11:31 am Post subject: |
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CUT TO:
THE FIRE SWAMP
And it really doesn't look any worse than any other moist, sulphurous, infernal horror you might run across. Great trees block the sun.
thick and black-green, look ominous as hell and they shield all but intermittent stripes of sun.
A GIANT SPURT OF FLAME leaps up, preceded by a slight popping sound, and this particular spurt of flame misses the penguin, but the Russian trophy wife is suddenly onfire; at least the lower half of her is and -- moving slowly along through a particularly dangerous part of the Fire Swamp..... |
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The evil penguin
Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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| SuperFly wrote: |
CUT TO:
THE FIRE SWAMP
And it really doesn't look any worse than any other moist, sulphurous, infernal horror you might run across. Great trees block the sun.
thick and black-green, look ominous as hell and they shield all but intermittent stripes of sun.
A GIANT SPURT OF FLAME leaps up, preceded by a slight popping sound, and this particular spurt of flame misses the penguin, but the Russian trophy wife is suddenly onfire; at least the lower half of her is and -- moving slowly along through a particularly dangerous part of the Fire Swamp..... |
ummmmmmm..... is this before or after we (the russian trophy wife, myself... and a poor little kitten we picked up on the way) make wild energetic love with our passionate display including several kitchen utensils (fruit blender, roll of cling wrap, and assorted spoons) and a few jars of nutella and olive oil,- sounds of passion, grunting and panting breaths and the continual high pitched question from the russian trophy wife of "are you in yet?" being so loud that a passing bongo fruit truck loses business due to his customers not being able to hear his speakers....? |
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SuperFly
Joined: 09 Jul 2003
Location: In the doghouse
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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| AFTER! |
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The evil penguin
Joined: 24 May 2003
Location: Doing something naughty near you.....
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| Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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...o...k...a...y....
ummmmm........ help me out here? am i still wearing my fish-skin g-string or have i changed into something more comfortable?? |
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