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red_devil
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Location: Korea
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 Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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| jajdude wrote: |
| I don't think the 'rich guy' factor applies in Korea. |
This is sarcasm right? |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Not intended as sarcasm. You must be one of those rich and handsome losers... |
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red_devil
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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| jajdude wrote: |
| Not intended as sarcasm. You must be one of those rich and handsome losers... |
And you must be one of those poor, uneducated, butt ugly, bitter losers... |
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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| "Have you heard about the lonesome loser?" |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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| red_devil wrote: |
| jajdude wrote: |
| Not intended as sarcasm. You must be one of those rich and handsome losers... |
And you must be one of those poor, uneducated, butt ugly, bitter losers... |
Wow, you are good at detecting good-natured humor. You did get most of that correct, however. I only took offense to the "uneducated" part...  |
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blurgalurgalurga
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Hang in there jajdude, you'll get snapped up by some stunning Chinese girl before long I'm sure. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
| Rae wrote: |
| Captain Corea wrote: |
I didn't like that girls had that power, so I decided to make it my own. I think it worked for me.. but it may not for the next guy (actually, it worked better for me in NA where the girls are more assertive). |
This only works if you're hot. This especially works if you're hot but a little shy and slightly awkward. Huge brownie points if you actually remember details and pay attention to what we say. |
Having met the Captain a few years back, he can pull it off. |
ooooh, thanks Pep.
Like I said, one thing that helped me was the fact that I learned the word 'no'. Now all the guys on here are going to bug me about this (and most of my buds did back home too - so it's nothing new), but I'd say no to more girls than I said yes to. I think for many girls that's a shocking experience - for a guy to say no to ya (once a girl is willing) - but for most guys, having a girl say 'no' is a regular occurrence.
Once you say no to someone (in the right way), it changes the power dynamic.
But yeah Rae, you are right, the guy has to pay attention to what the girl is saying/thinking/wanting. And if you aren't planning on bedding her right away (by saying 'no'), it's much easier to actually focus on all that stuff.
((reading through this post though I fear that it comes off a bit too puritanical. When I said 'no', it wasn't nessisarily about a moral or religious code, but rather being able to balance out the power in the relationship)) |
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rhinosaur
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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Here's 2 cents coming from and average dude with a shy affliction....
The Captain has something with the "No" concept...(It was one of the life lessons my dad would pound into my brain.) Hot or not, girls want guys (hot or not) to know what they want, and be confident in their actions/decisions.
Saying hello is all you have to do to break the ice... save the pick up lines for the cheesballs....
If you can't grow a pair enough to say hello it is NEVER going to happen....that is the reality.(There is a good chance that girl who is "out of your league" is single because most guys give up before even getting to hello.....)
Of course, if she says hi back and smiles...then you better have something else to talk about or yer screwed.... |
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bobbyhanlon
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Location: 서울
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:59 am Post subject: |
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| totally agree with captain corea. also i think the way to deal with the pretty ones is to totally refuse to acknowledge their hotness, and pay them no special attention. 98% of guys come off all desperate and needy, so you instantly appear superior just by doing nothing. |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:33 am Post subject: |
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| Same goes for guys. Best way to get a hot as hell guy is to say a polite hello and spend the rest of the night ignoring him or ogling some other guy of lesser hotness. But if everyone takes this advice there are going to be some eerily quiet bars out there where no one makes eye contact�. |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 3:52 am Post subject: |
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| hugekebab wrote: |
| Festering pervert |
These words go together so well, but I don't think I've seen them together before. Good one!
I thought my ex was out of my league. When I told him he said, no way, YOU are out of MY league. Just trying to make me feel better...  |
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SeoulFinn
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Location: 1h from Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:13 am Post subject: |
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| There is nothing as insecure as a beautiful woman. Use it to your advantage and you will do just fine. |
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Rae
Joined: 10 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:20 am Post subject: |
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| Draz wrote: |
| hugekebab wrote: |
| Festering pervert |
These words go together so well, but I don't think I've seen them together before. Good one!
I thought my ex was out of my league. When I told him he said, no way, YOU are out of MY league. Just trying to make me feel better... |
Is this the same guy that refused to date for 4 years since your breakup? If so, I think you guys are kinda cute ... |
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
Some time in High School I figured out something that would guide me through my single life - girls had power.
Girls had the power to say 'yes' or not.
And I know you all know that so I'll skip to my revelation...
I wanted that power, and I figured out how to get it.
I'm not going to say that I'm a major player, or that I've bedded more girls than the next guy, but I will say this - I rarely went up to girls first. I generally played their coy game and waited for them to come to me. If they didn't, no harm done... the next one would. And besides, if we exchanged favorable glances one day, the seed was planted for the next.
I didn't like that girls had that power, so I decided to make it my own. I think it worked for me.. but it may not for the next guy (actually, it worked better for me in NA where the girls are more assertive). |
I've been thinking about this a lot. I (as a man) don't have this power, but I don't think I want it. You can put my dissent down as jealousy, but I'll share my feelings anyway.
All things being equal, in the beginning of a relationship, the man has more interest than the woman. Later, they become equal, and some time even later, the woman is more likely than the man to have more interest in the relationship. In any case, I think we can agree that all things being equal, the woman has more to lose than the man in the relationship.
If you invert the power structure, the demand that the man approach the woman, you, the man, lose out on at least two things:
1) You do not get to immediately see how the woman handles her relationship power. Is she compassionate, considerate, equaninimous, etc. Its very helpful to see a woman deal with you and handle you. If she's not at all interested, that's one thing, but if there is interest, the dynamic is revealing.
However, I think I can see arguments that might dispose of disadvantage #1. I'm more concerned with disadvantage #2.
2) You lose out on the fear and the thrill of the hunt. Having women come to you means you value them less. You value more what you've worked harder to attain. It may be the woman is deserving of being valued less, but that does not make the man who values her less any happy for valuing her a little over-much. By value I mean something entirely separate from the power a woman wields in a relationship. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Kuros wrote: |
2) You lose out on the fear and the thrill of the hunt. Having women come to you means you value them less. You value more what you've worked harder to attain. It may be the woman is deserving of being valued less, but that does not make the man who values her less any happy for valuing her a little over-much. By value I mean something entirely separate from the power a woman wields in a relationship. |
Interesting postKuro, but I'd ask you this..
Does a tiger hunt?
of course
Does a spider?
It's just a different approach mate. |
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