|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Joe666
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Jesus it's hot down here!
|
 Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:24 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
Johnny_Bravo:
| Quote: |
Joe666, you're clearly bringing your own biased views as to what marriage entails.
in many countries it still basically entails what it has entailed since the beginning of mankind and what goku talks about in his post - that being a societal structure to first make/creat and then "provide/educate" the little ones. Nothing more, nothing less. Where one chooses to get their rocks off (or whatever the phrase may be for women) - that's an entirely different story altogether. It's typically the marriage bed, after all, it's the easiest - but after about a thousand times of same same, one's mind starts to wander elsewhere. |
You can make/create then provide/educate the little ones without the institution, Nothing more, nothing less. When the mind starts to wonder and someone acquires some strange, gets bagged and the relationship swirls down the toilet, you have a smaller mess to clean up.
If a person admits or thinks exactly what you have stated above, then why would they enter into the institution in the first place. I understand people can define a marriage anyway they please. I have no problem with that. But when and if things get ugly.............. Maybe I am biased to a certain degree, but aren't we all. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Chambertin
Joined: 07 Jun 2009
Location: Gunsan
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Cheating is more openly visable in a scociety where the population density is high.
Everyone else pretty much hit the mark about social scocietial conditions as far as I'm concerned.
"Few normal and sane people actually stay completely loyal to their ONE partner their entire lives, this is especiall true for males. It runs completely counter to male nature in every way." Its the same for both sexes biologically, many studies to prove that. Culture usually represses the ability or acceptance of women cheating, not biology.
Funny thread. I say when in a land thats not your own dont ask any questions that concern culture to anyone but a trusted friend. Even then only ask when in an informal situation and out of earshot of any locals. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Johnny_Bravo
Joined: 27 May 2009
Location: R.O.K.
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:31 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Joe666 wrote: |
Johnny_Bravo:
| Quote: |
Joe666, you're clearly bringing your own biased views as to what marriage entails.
in many countries it still basically entails what it has entailed since the beginning of mankind and what goku talks about in his post - that being a societal structure to first make/creat and then "provide/educate" the little ones. Nothing more, nothing less. Where one chooses to get their rocks off (or whatever the phrase may be for women) - that's an entirely different story altogether. It's typically the marriage bed, after all, it's the easiest - but after about a thousand times of same same, one's mind starts to wander elsewhere. |
You can make/create then provide/educate the little ones without the institution, Nothing more, nothing less. When the mind starts to wonder and someone acquires some strange, gets bagged and the relationship swirls down the toilet, you have a smaller mess to clean up.
If a person admits or thinks exactly what you have stated above, then why would they enter into the institution in the first place. I understand people can define a marriage anyway they please. I have no problem with that. But when and if things get ugly.............. Maybe I am biased to a certain degree, but aren't we all. |
not really. Marriage creates a structure and gives an incentive for the man to stick around.
also the 2nd aspect is just as important. Establishing legal heritage, property and succession right.
if you believe it was something to join man and woman in "holy matrimony in the eyes of God till death do they part", I have some swampland to sell you.
oh and if they do happen to stay till death did they part, both happy, then that's wonderful, I'm the first to applaud. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Yesterday
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Land of the Morning DongChim (Kancho)
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:47 am Post subject: Re: Affairs! (Not a "help needed" topic) |
|
|
| SamJ85 wrote: |
Anyway, I mentioned this to my (single) co-teacher last week and she gave me a look like I'd just punched her mother in the face. She said that it never happens in Korea, but that people in Japan get married knowing that they/their partner will keep screwing other people. |
The Ok Sori (옥소리) and Kim Ye-boon - must be Japanese?? NO - they are Korean.. Actress Ok So-ri was recently sentenced to two years in jail because she was caught cheating on her husband Park Chul with a French chef.
http://popseoul.com/2008/12/01/ok-so-ri-sentenced-to-jail/
http://atheism.about.com/b/2005/03/30/adultery-in-south-korea.htm
South Korea is one of the few remaining non-Muslim countries where adultery remains a criminal offence.
More than 1,000 people are charged each year, although, as in this case, very few are actually sent to jail.
http://www.asiafinest.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=184036
considering - at the most there is approximately 8,000,000 married couples in Korea - then 1,000 people charged with adultery per year is very very high
according to Time magazine, about 65 percent of Korean married men had dated other women after they married and 41 percent of women had dated other men.
http://globalvoicesonline.org/2007/09/12/koreadebating-the-adultery-law/
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2007/09/117_9822.html[/b] |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Insomnia
Joined: 17 May 2009
Location: koreanwikiproject.com
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:30 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Medic wrote: |
You get down to the working class, the coffe shop owners, and the cafe owners you'll find the husbands pimping their wives, and the mothers doing it obviously in front of their kids. A lot of mothers in these hard times are selling their bodies to help paye the bills for their kids education.
I walked into a coffee shop tabang and saw a mother consolling her son in one booth while she was entertaing( not just drinking mind you, but a bit more intimate stuff) men in another booth. Sheesh. I was also in a cafe a while back owned by the parents of one of my students at a boys middle school. Any way the father of the boy invites some guests in to sit and drink with his wife. One of the guys fondled the wife infront of the husband like it was no big deal at all. Husband didn't give a dam. |
Uhhhhhhhhh, all this is pretty hard to believe. (Please don't pull up an article of one mother doing it either) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Medic
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Insomnia wrote: |
| Medic wrote: |
You get down to the working class, the coffe shop owners, and the cafe owners you'll find the husbands pimping their wives, and the mothers doing it obviously in front of their kids. A lot of mothers in these hard times are selling their bodies to help paye the bills for their kids education.
I walked into a coffee shop tabang and saw a mother consolling her son in one booth while she was entertaing( not just drinking mind you, but a bit more intimate stuff) men in another booth. Sheesh. I was also in a cafe a while back owned by the parents of one of my students at a boys middle school. Any way the father of the boy invites some guests in to sit and drink with his wife. One of the guys fondled the wife infront of the husband like it was no big deal at all. Husband didn't give a dam. |
Uhhhhhhhhh, all this is pretty hard to believe. (Please don't pull up an article of one mother doing it either) |
It's all for real guys. There's a hell of a lot more out there as well. I was in a tabang in Pusan drinking tea and such, and some woman came over and sat with me. I ordered her a coffee and such, and I got talking to her. She was in her late 30s or thereabouts and pleasant to boot, so what the heck. Went back to the place a couple of times to visit. The owner told me she was popular, because she gave extra services in a backroom. To make a long story short I got to speak to her son who was an engineering student. He was your basic normal student who also happened to speak English quite fluently. I was flabbergasted when he said " Oh my mom has lots of men friends your welcome to come around" It reminded me of that song "Hikory Hollocks Tramp" "Oh the path was deep and wide from footsteps leading to our cabin, on the door there burns a scarlet lamp----" I for got the rest of it.
I went into a cafe off the bat near Kyunghee university, and got talking to two young university students, who obviously werent working there. They were pleasnt, and quite able to speak English. They explained to me that there mother was the Madam for the cafe. They might just as well have said "Our mother is the Head *beep*"
There was an article in the papers a while back of Police having to close down barbershops. Anyway the proprieters were husband and wife teams trying to make ends meet. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Joe666
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Jesus it's hot down here!
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Medic:
| Quote: |
| It's all for real guys. There's a hell of a lot more out there as well........ |
Why would viewers think he is full of it. Medic has no reason to lie, what would he gain from it? Being anonymous on a poster board and telling a flagrant lie will get you little attention.
I agree, the whole scenario sounds messed up, but this is Asia secluded!! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Kikomom
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: them thar hills--Penna, USA--Zippy is my kid, the teacher in ROK. You can call me Kiko
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Chambertin wrote: |
| Funny thread. I say when in a land thats not your own dont ask any questions that concern culture to anyone but a trusted friend. |
NETs are recruited to Korea not only to teach English but to teach about their home culture. I'll hazard to throw a number or two (completely unsupported) out there that the teachers they recruit have a substantial cultural curiosity of their own. Maybe as many as 90%. Other than needing a job, it's THE primary reason they go. Why wouldn't they try to learn as much as they can?
The other 10% either have purely a sense of adventure, or simply nothing better to do.
The truly desperate stayed home, got married, and are now cheating on their spouse--still hoping for greener pastures. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Chambertin
Joined: 07 Jun 2009
Location: Gunsan
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I may have come on a little strong, but I still support my statement.
Even in the US I get the Korean automatic defense system: "Impossible for a 5000 year old culture to be anything but perfect, and an anti-Japanese slander" for any subject even potentially negative to Korean culture or tradition.
I'm going to Korea to find out about the culture first hand and because I absolutely love the food and I believe the people are really nice once you get to know them. That being said I dont think that anyone other than a friend will give you the straight story about their home country.
Most Americans will just repeat the typical jargon about how great America is until you get to sit down with them at a bar or restaurant and they can talk about taxes, unequal government spending and many other factors of life.
We are all trained to think of home as #1, infallible, and above every other country. So if you ask unexpectedly out in the open that�s the kind of answer you get anywhere. Get to know the person then get to know the culture more. Just my advice.
Edit:
As I said I havent been in Korea yet, but in Japan the older generation is cautious and agreeable on most cultural things not saying much at a first encounter unless its obvious to everyone. Get a bottle of sake, a grill, fan, and a bunch of cheap river fish and your will get a 6 hour lesson on Japanese culture, the degradation of the younger generation and more than you ever want to know about how the Diet has failed Japan. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Insomnia
Joined: 17 May 2009
Location: koreanwikiproject.com
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Joe666 wrote: |
Medic:
| Quote: |
| It's all for real guys. There's a hell of a lot more out there as well........ |
Why would viewers think he is full of it. Medic has no reason to lie, what would he gain from it? Being anonymous on a poster board and telling a flagrant lie will get you little attention. |
This logic FAILS on the internet. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Kikomom
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: them thar hills--Penna, USA--Zippy is my kid, the teacher in ROK. You can call me Kiko
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Chambertin wrote: |
| I may have come on a little strong, but I still support my statement. |
I can respect that, but it's a cultural exchange. These co-teachers need to get with the program and realize that young people willing to travel thousands of miles didn't leave home because they're shy little wallflowers. They have the intellect to ask the tough questions, but not always the tact--right off the bat anyhow. There's a cultural instinct that takes a little longer to learn to detect the finer points.
Understanding comes thru appreciation on both sides, and who better to set the example but teachers? Then we'll see some progress from this generation experiencing the exchange--teachers and students. The best example of this is the US Ambassador in Korea herself.
Back to the topic, don't forget that economics play a good part in the marriage equation. Two can live as cheap as one. And for some comic relief, the Girlfriends have the upper hand in this argument with their own economic recovery plan:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nations_girlfriends_unveil_new
"It just makes sense financially." |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Shiktang
Joined: 10 May 2009
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:37 am Post subject: |
|
|
Some people, unfortunately never learn to detect the finer points. That's not necessarily us waeguks either.
Last edited by Shiktang on Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:45 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Shiktang
Joined: 10 May 2009
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Kikomom wrote: |
| Chambertin wrote: |
| I may have come on a little strong, but I still support my statement. |
I can respect that, but it's a cultural exchange. These co-teachers need to get with the program and realize that young people willing to travel thousands of miles didn't leave home because they're shy little wallflowers. They have the intellect to ask the tough questions, but not always the tact--right off the bat anyhow. There's a cultural instinct that takes a little longer to learn to detect the finer points.
|
Some people never aquire the cultural instinct that it takes a little longer to learn to detect the finer points |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Chambertin
Joined: 07 Jun 2009
Location: Gunsan
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Kikomom wrote: |
| I can respect that, but it's a cultural exchange. These co-teachers need to get with the program and realize that young people willing to travel thousands of miles didn't leave home because they're shy little wallflowers. |
I couldnt agree more about this, but I'm writing advice for the general teacher. As most of them here seem perplexed or even arrogant to a T in matters concerning Korea, my advice errs to caution, then familiarity, then a possibly enjoyable work environment.
Additionally I come from the Marines. We are the smallest branch of the service so we walk softly and carry a howletzer. I.e. we shut up and deal then strike once, strike hard, and get the change we wanted.
I'd be ignorant to say that dosent have a 100% impact on my cultural philosophy.
Side note, I love the name Kikomom. Very nice to have a civil discussion.
Back on Tropic: hilarious. (the video)
Last edited by Chambertin on Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:26 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
friendoken
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:36 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| SamJ85 wrote: |
I should try and clear up a few points here.
First, I wasn't trying to hit on my co-teachers. Nor was I asing if any of them had personally cheated on anyone. There were two of them present and they seemed happy enough to ask me about girls and relationships back in the UK, so why shouldn't I ask them about here? I wasn't trying to pull any lothario style moves on either of them. I wouldn't start seeing a co-worker in the UK so why would I here? Sorry if you got that impression ryoga013, it wasn't what I was aiming for.
Second, I thought the 70% stat was BS. If asking a Korean a blunt question is a bit rude, believing everything negative written about Korea on Daves has to be incredibly naive at best. I though I'd try get a Korean opinion, since it's about Koreans, and most Dave-ers are foreign.
I would have accepted "None of your business" as her answer and moved on. But since she wanted to discuss it, I though I'd see what other expats thought.I was more interested in the anti-japanese rant I got. How come people here know so much about how corrupt Japanese marrages are, yet they don't acknowledge their own society's flaws? |
Koreans are first inline when it comes to asking blunt questions that are a bit rude. Thus, it is absolutely fair game to ask them whatever you wish. I remember talking at length about love motels and such with my co-teacher, he was constantly on the prowl. I miss him! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
