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"Why don't you smile more?"
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a general observation on this topic.

The first thing you notice when coming to Korea from the USA (if you are aware and not in a bubble) is that everyone here smiles, nobody smiles in the USA it's always the scowling grumpy face. In fact even before you get here on the airplane the stewardess on a Korean flight smiles, the stewardess on an American flight scowls.

Walking around the streets and subway you will occasionally see a Caucasian, and they really stick out because of their emotional aura. If it's a woman she will have the classic American "perma-scowl" on her face, so skeptical, so unable to experience any joy in life. A guy will be long faced and serious/depressed looking like he's got a lot on his mind. Think "American Beauty" the movie.

To Koreans they just don't understand that. I know cause they always tell me so. For example one told me a story of this American woman in their appartment building and every day she had that scowl on her face and it's just so uncomfortable, so all the Koreans started avoiding her, like when the elevator opens and they see her they take the next one. Haha. Nobody naturally wants to be around that.

One Korean woman told me the word for it once, it's a Korean word that reflects one of their values, can't remember it and I don't know if there is an equivalent in English. But it basically means "emotionally clear" or "not clouded".

Of course I'm sure it's really annoying to be told that on the job but to real I would say it's one the great things that can be learned from Korea.

Peace out.
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comm



Joined: 22 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

KimchiNinja wrote:
The first thing you notice when coming to Korea from the USA (if you are aware and not in a bubble) is that everyone here smiles, nobody smiles in the USA it's always the scowling grumpy face. In fact even before you get here on the airplane the stewardess on a Korean flight smiles, the stewardess on an American flight scowls.

Walking around the streets and subway you will occasionally see a Caucasian, and they really stick out because of their emotional aura. If it's a woman she will have the classic American "perma-scowl" on her face, so skeptical, so unable to experience any joy in life. A guy will be long faced and serious/depressed looking like he's got a lot on his mind. Think "American Beauty" the movie.
So I read down to about this far, thinking "wow, that's the exact opposite of the way I was thinking". And I was remembering how every Korean I walk past looks downtrodden, stressed, and overworked... from elementary school up to middle age (though the oldest generally are either in a good mood or stare at me 'skeptically'). And then I noticed it was KimchiNinja posting and it made sense.

I'm not saying that there are no solemn foreigners. The loneliness of lingual isolation can get to people who aren't here long enough to learn the language. But I certainly don't see the average American in America being more grumpy than the average Korean in Korea.
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jfromtheway



Joined: 20 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good fiction kimchininja. Koreans are probably the most unhappy people I've ever come across. Maybe it's because I'm from the south, but what you said is nonsense to me. You were probably too overwhelmed with anxiety everytime you stepped out of Korea town to realize your judgmental error.
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luckylady



Joined: 30 Jan 2012
Location: u.s. of occupied territories

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

same here - if I smile at Koreans on the street they usually just ignore me or don't even see me -

most students don't even seem to look up that much - I'll never forget the one young fellow who almost bumped into me because he was walking with his head literally on his chest. he raised it momentarily and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, in his expression. so sad, and unfortunately, not uncommon at all.

most foreigners always seem to be quite animated and lively, not sad at all.

funny how different the world looks to some of us, huh?
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jfromtheway



Joined: 20 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, generally, it's night and day. It's common in the west to say hello to people in elevators or chat with random people while standing in lines, etc. In a no trust society, it's the other way around. The other day my girlfriend told me that she was walking in the park with her friend and a white guy and his girlfriend said "hello" as they passed them. Her friend said, "why did they say hello to us!?" I'm usually a happy guy, but regardless of how I feel on any particular day, I feel the need to emit a friendly persona in public. And most of you are probably the same. I don't get the feeling that the locals operate similarly.
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Ave, L�cifer



Joined: 22 Feb 2010
Location: Busan

PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

KimchiNinja wrote:
I have a general observation on this topic.

The first thing you notice when coming to Korea from the USA (if you are aware and not in a bubble) is that everyone here smiles, nobody smiles in the USA it's always the scowling grumpy face. In fact even before you get here on the airplane the stewardess on a Korean flight smiles, the stewardess on an American flight scowls.

Walking around the streets and subway you will occasionally see a Caucasian, and they really stick out because of their emotional aura. If it's a woman she will have the classic American "perma-scowl" on her face, so skeptical, so unable to experience any joy in life. A guy will be long faced and serious/depressed looking like he's got a lot on his mind. Think "American Beauty" the movie.

To Koreans they just don't understand that. I know cause they always tell me so. For example one told me a story of this American woman in their appartment building and every day she had that scowl on her face and it's just so uncomfortable, so all the Koreans started avoiding her, like when the elevator opens and they see her they take the next one. Haha. Nobody naturally wants to be around that.

One Korean woman told me the word for it once, it's a Korean word that reflects one of their values, can't remember it and I don't know if there is an equivalent in English. But it basically means "emotionally clear" or "not clouded".

Of course I'm sure it's really annoying to be told that on the job but to real I would say it's one the great things that can be learned from Korea.

Peace out.


Is this post real? I'd say one of the most standard and objectively true observations that foreigners have here is that people don't smile much at all in public.

Koreans even warned us at our EPIK orientation that people might look aloof, sour and unapproachable but qualified it with something nonsensical about how it doesn't reflect their real outlook on life or anything.
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Brooks



Joined: 08 Apr 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How odd. Koreans can scowl but the foreigner must smile. It is like we have to be what they want us to be.
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schwa



Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: Yap

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Koreans generally arent the smiliest people, granted. The govt has even run campaigns promoting more smiling.

But in my experience a great many Koreans are very willing to flash a warm smile once they've seen you before or get a nice impression. Maybe its more a small town thing vs Seoul.

Maybe some self-reflection is in order. Scowls beget scowls.

In the classroom kids respond much more positively to a cheerful face than a serious, sad, angry, etc, demeanor. Who wouldnt?

No one is asking us as teachers to grin like idiots. But at least consider wearing a neutral expression thats open to smiling. Its just human nature. You'll have a better time here if you do, guaranteed.
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

schwa wrote:
Koreans generally arent the smiliest people, granted. The govt has even run campaigns promoting more smiling.

But in my experience a great many Koreans are very willing to flash a warm smile once they've seen you before or get a nice impression. Maybe its more a small town thing vs Seoul.

Maybe some self-reflection is in order. Scowls beget scowls.

In the classroom kids respond much more positively to a cheerful face than a serious, sad, angry, etc, demeanor. Who wouldnt?

No one is asking us as teachers to grin like idiots. But at least consider wearing a neutral expression thats open to smiling. Its just human nature. You'll have a better time here if you do, guaranteed.


As usual Schwa, well said.
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
"Why don't you smile more"



....is a micro-aggression.

So is "cheer up".

Its a form of "othering".
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joelove



Joined: 12 May 2011

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brooks wrote:
How odd. Koreans can scowl but the foreigner must smile. It is like we have to be what they want us to be.


Ah, the double standard. Yeah, they're not the most smiley lot. Foreigner must be better behaved than average local, all that stuff.
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Malislamusrex



Joined: 01 Feb 2010

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with this guy, if this message was in English it would probably mean........ stop being a miserable bastard.

Julius wrote:
Quote:
"Why don't you smile more"



....is a micro-aggression.

So is "cheer up".

Its a form of "othering".
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sojusucks



Joined: 31 May 2008

PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:08 pm    Post subject: Re: "Why don't you smile more?" Reply with quote

creeper1 wrote:

When I receive this criticism it just makes me so mad. I don't deal with criticism well. It just pisses me off.


I realize that Korean criticism is useless. If what they suggest fails, then it is still my fault. It is best to do what you want. It may sound bad, but if it works, your boss will take credit, look good, and treat you better. And planning and thoughtfulness on your part is much more likely to produce better results than haphazard criticism.
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