Site Search:
 
Speak Korean Now!
Teach English Abroad and Get Paid to see the World!
Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

M*A*S*H Theme Song
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
gypsyfish



Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottumwa, Iowa?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
hogwonguy1979



Joined: 22 Dec 2003
Location: the racoon den

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gary Burghoff who played Radar in the movie was also the only person in the movie to play the same character in the tv show.

I keep telling my students MASH was NOT about Korea but more about Vietnam and war in general
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
coolsage



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: The overcast afternoon of the soul

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 8:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Real Reality wrote:
Daphne wrote,
"I think the links posted regarding SK's suicide rate just might be the most relevant reply to my original posting, though I'm quite thrilled to have a relative of the dude who actually did the guitar piece for the tv theme post a reply"

mindmetoo,
Did you read this?
"most relevant reply"

Daphne wrote in the original post,
"...'Suicide is Painless.'
It seems both an ironic and appropriate song for a story based on foreigners working in Korea--kind of like the saying that 'life imitates art.''
RR: Sometimes it seems as you have no sense of humor at all. What was intended as no more than a frivolous post was taken far too seriously by you. You're amongst the few who could suck the fun out of Disneyland. Lighten up, man! Cheers.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Keepongoing



Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:30 pm    Post subject: oh yes Reply with quote

The original MASH movie was a war satire to discourage enlistment in the military. After its initial showing in theaters enlistments skyrocketed? It backfired. In fact, 2 weeks after I saw it, I joined the Army and a few years later was strangely stationed at Camp Red Cloud in Uijungbu. The soldiers now refer to that era as the Wild West. My first day in my Unit I was initiated by having a plastic bag placed over my head and having those present blow a special kind of smoke into the bag. At this time the Officer of the Day for the Post came in, in fujll uniform and on duty. He sat down and smoked it with us. Drugs were rampant, soldiers would go outside the main gate and buy it in front of the MP's and no one would do a thing. One guy went in front of the CO and took some and little was done. It was also very violent and most of us carried straight razors around..oh, the violence did not come from the Koreans. Two weeks before I got in country there were big race riots there and people died. The actual MASH company that the movie potrayed, was a half mile from there. The football game was on CRC. It was an absolute year of hell.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Daphne



Joined: 03 Jul 2004

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't say this was meant to be a sarcastic post, as I'm fairly confident the majority of us who've spent more than a few days here have looked into the existentialist abyss described in the song.

The guys who originally sang the tune sounded an awful lot like the Lettermen which considering the lyrics was a gross injustice (kind of like Barry Manilow belting out a song written by Rob Zombie Mad ) but the Manics did it a lot more justice.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
panthermodern



Joined: 08 Feb 2003
Location: Taxronto

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Gary Burghoff who played Radar in the movie was also the only person in the movie to play the same character in the tv show.



UNTRUE!

according to the imdb
Quote:
G. Wood (General Hammond) played the same character in the movie and first three episodes of the TV series.



Interesting Trivia:

Although set on the front lines of the Korean War, the only gunshot heard is the referee's pistol during the inter-camp football game.

Although set during the Korean War, Director Robert Altman had all references to Korea removed from the script and nothing on the set was marked Korea. This was to blur the line between Korea and the then ongoing Vietnam War.

Burt Reynolds turned down the role of Trapper John.
(That would have sucked ...)

Reportedly the first major studio release to use the word "*beep*" in its dialogue.
(The F word)

The beer the surgeons are drinking throughout the movie is Pabst Blue Ribbon.

When studio execs first saw the dailies, they complained to Robert Altman that the soldiers looked dirty compared to the soldiers in Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) and Patton (1970). Altman replied that soldiers in war are dirty. The next day the execs told the producers of Tora! Tora! Tora! and Patton to make their soldiers look dirtier.

Quotes (Movie):


Quote:
a gun goes off at the football game]
Hotlips O'Houlihan : Oh my God! They've shot him.
Colonel Blake : Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop. It's the end of the quarter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[the origin of her nickname]
Hotlips O'Houlihan : [to Frank Burns, during sex, not knowing everyone is listening] Kiss my hot lips.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hotlips O'Houlihan : I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.
Father Mulcahy : He was drafted.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Blake : Hawkeye Pierce? I got a twix from headquarters about you... says you stole a jeep.
Hawkeye Pierce : No sir, no, I didn't steal it. No, it's right outside.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Trapper is guest of honor at a party celebrating his appointment as Chief Surgeon]
Trapper John : ...No. No booze. Sex. I want sex.
[notices Hot-Lips across the mess tent]
Trapper John : That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Bring her to me. Take her clothes off and bring her to me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Frank Burns has just been sent away in a straitjacket after attacking Hawkeye]
Duke Forrest : Colonel, fair's fair... if I punch Hawkeye and nail Hot-Lips, can I go home too?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hotlips O'Houlihan : This isn't a hospital. It's an insane asylum. And it's your fault.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gen. Hammond : Henry, I have some reports here from your Major O'Houlihan that I frankly find hard to believe.
Colonel Blake : Well, don't believe them then, General. Good-bye.
[hangs up]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye and Duke drive away, having received their traveling orders]
Colonel Blake : Did Hawkeye steal that jeep?
Radar : No sir, that's the one he came in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Blake : Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain Walter Kosciusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski, D.D.S. : I wasn't gonna fool around out here because I got these three girls I'm engaged to back home.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye Pierce : Frank, were you on this religious kick at home, or did you crack up over here?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trapper John : I wish they wouldn't land those things here while we're playing golf.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Capt. Peterson, Nurse Corps : [hostile tone of voice] What are you two HOODLUMS doing in this hospital?
Hawkeye Pierce : Ma'am, we are surgeons and we are here to operate. We just waiting for a starting time. That's all.
Capt. Peterson, Nurse Corps : You can't even go near a patient until Col. Merrill says its ok and he's still out to lunch.
Trapper John : Look, mother, I want to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid's chest and get out to golf course before it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have them rustle us up some lunch.
[turns to Hakweye]
Trapper John : Ham and eggs will all right.
[turns back to Capt. Peterson]
Trapper John : Steak would be even better. And then give me at least ONE nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her *beep* in my way.
Capt. Peterson, Nurse Corps : [outraged] Oh!
[turns to leave and bumps into Nurse in Japan]
Capt. Peterson, Nurse Corps : Oh! Fool!
[stomps out of ward]
Nurse in Japan: How do you want your steak cooked?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Capt. Ezekiel Bradbury 'Me Lay' Marston IV : Who are you guys?
Hawkeye Pierce : I'm Dr. Jekyll, actually, and this is my friend, Mr. Hyde.
Trapper John : Grrrr!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Trapper has just opened a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer]
Hawkeye Pierce : I see you are a beer drinker, sir. Would you care for a martini?
Trapper John : A martini? Yeah, I'd love a martini.
Hawkeye Pierce : [to Ho-Jon] Ho-Jon, get the gentleman a martini.
[to Trapper]
Hawkeye Pierce : I'm sure you will find them satisfactory. They're quite dry.
[sips from his glass]
Trapper John : Don't you guys use olives?
Duke Forrest : Olives? Where in the hell do you think we are, man?
Hawkeye Pierce : We have had to make certain concessions for the war; we ARE three miles from the front line.
Trapper John : Yeah but without olives,
[reaches into coat pocket and pulls out a jar of cocktail olives - drops one into his glass]
Trapper John : a martini just doesn't quite make it.
[Hawkeye and Duke stare dumbfounded at the olive]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trapper John : Finished work for the day?
Frank Burns : Yes. Why?
Trapper John : Good. I was hoping you'd have time tonight to sleep this off.
[Trapper punches Burns to the floor and injures his hand just as Colonel Blake walks in]
Trapper John : [in pain] Ow! Damn! Son of a bitch!
Colonel Blake : Trapper! I mean... uh... Captain McIntyre, what the hell? What happened? Who started this?
Trapper John : I hit him! I hit him! He's an ignoramus, the knucklehead!
Frank Burns : He wouldn't have touched me if I had my guard up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Blake : What the hell's gotten into you?
Trapper John : I dunno. I must be losing my punch. I never expected the son of a bitch to get up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : I don't drink.
Hawkeye Pierce : Jesus Christ, I think he means it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Blake : I'm tired of you guys trying to run this outfit. This time there's going to be disciplinary action.
Duke Forrest : What're you gonna do, Henry?
Colonel Blake : Well, I had planned to name Trapper Chief Surgeon, to consult on your shift and Frank's.
Duke Forrest : That's damn good thinking.
Colonel Blake : Yeah, but now I can't do it for at least a week.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : God meant us to find each other.
Hotlips O'Houlihan : [enthusiastically, opening her blouse] His will be done.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Blake : Football game?
Gen. Hammond : Yeah, yeah, we put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun. Special services in Tokyo says it's one of the best gimmicks we've got to keep the American way of life going here in Asia.
Colonel Blake : Betting?
Gen. Hammond : No, football.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cheerleaders: Sixty-nine, is divine. Sixty-nine, is divine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judson: Bastard, 88, called me a coon.
Spearchucker : Called you a what?
Judson: Coon.
Spearchucker : OK, that's an old pro trick, to get you thrown out of the ball game.
Judson: Well...
Spearchucker : Why don't you do the same thing to him?
Judson: What, call him a coon?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Repeated Line]
SSgt. Gorman: Goddamn Army.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[the first use of the word "*beep*" in a major motion picture]
Painless : Your fuckin' head is coming right off, pal.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Hot Lips, about Frank Burns]
Hawkeye Pierce : Frank Burns does not know his way around an operating theater, he does not know his way around a body, and if you will have observed anything, you will have observed that Major Frank Burns... is an idiot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: Attention, all base members must report for a drug test for marij- marijua-... disregard last transmission

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Duke Forrest : Dammit, Henry, Frank Burns is a menace! Every time a patient croaks on him he says it's "God's will" or somebody else's fault.
Hawkeye Pierce : Yeah, and this time he blamed it on some kid who was stupid enough to belive him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trapper John : Well, you know, Man o'War, after they retired him from racing, they put him out to stud. And he had an average of about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals a year, and he lived to be thirty-six. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen.


Quotes (TV):

The first is my favorite.


Quote:
Colonel Flagg : Nobody leaves till I do and I never do.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : Get me Tokyo.
Radar : What, on the radio?
Charles : No, open the door and yell.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural wonder, one of a kind... actually two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamppost.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reading a letter that Hawkeye threatens to send to Frank Burns' wife]
Radar : Dear Mrs. Burns, I regret to inform that your husband has been seen out of uniform, and maybe you would like to know with who.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can't change rule number one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Sidney Freedman : Ladies and gentlemen take my advice, pull down you pants and slide on the ice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Col. Potter bids farewell to Hawkeye and B.J]
Col. Potter : Well, boys, it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure glad we went through it together. You boys always managed to give me a good laugh, right when I needed it most. Never forget the time you dropped Winchester's drawers in the O.R. 'Course I had to pretend I was mad at you but, inside...
[emotionally]
Col. Potter : I was laughin' to beat all Hell.
Hawkeye : Yeah. I'm laughing just thinking about it.
B.J. : I'd LOVE a good laugh like this.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye and B.J. bid farewell to each other]
Hawkeye : Look, I know how tough it is for you to say goodbye, so I'LL say it. Maybe you're right, maybe we WILL see each other again, but just in case we don't, I want you to know how much you've meant to me. I'll never be able to shake you; whenever I see a pair of big feet or a cheesy mustache, I'll think of you.
B.J. : Whenever I smell month-old socks, I'll think of YOU.
Hawkeye : Or the next time somebody nails my shoe to the floor...
B.J. : ...or when somebody gives me a martini that tastes like lighter fluid.
Hawkeye : I'll miss you.
B.J. : I'll miss YOU. A lot. I can't imagine what this place would've been like if I hadn't found you here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Dear Billy, don't take your love for your brother and turn it into hate. Hate causes wars and war is what killed your brother.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter : You too young to die, Pierce?
Hawkeye : I was hoping to make it to Thursday.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : Why does everyone take an instant dislike to me?
Trapper : It saves time, Frank.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : 'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never... oh, give me a drink.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as the surgeons operate on an eight-year-old Korean girl]
Col. Potter : Someone dropped a bomb on her building from an airplane.
Pilot: Who did it?
Hawkeye : He just dropped it. He didn't autograph it.
Pilot: Was it one of theirs or one of ours?
Hawkeye : What difference does it make?
Pilot: A lot. It makes a lot of difference.
Col. Potter : Not to her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after an exhausting shift in the OR]
Col. Potter : By the way, what war is this?
Hawkeye : The latest war to end all wars.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : It's nice to be nice... to the nice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.
Margaret : We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many.
Frank Burns : I know, darling, and I love being both of us.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : Klinger, you are a gentleman and a lady.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : Your permission, sir, to cover up my nakedidity?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Dictating a telegram]
Hawkeye : Dear Dad, I am not dead. Stop. Hope you are the same. Stop. Thinking of selling my golf clubs? Stop. Spending my insurance money? Stop.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : My father touched me that way once, to this day he still has to wear orthopedic shirts.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : Can you get drunk on Grape Nehi?
Hawkeye : I don't know, let's find out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[a visiting officer flips out]
B.J. : He was just as strong as any of us.
Hawkeye : I know. That's what scares me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : A lot of guys look up to you. They want to be like you. And when you walk out on a patient it's like you don't care.
Hawkeye : Don't put all that on my shoulders. Every day I stand in the blood of children and pull them out of a meat grinder and try to save them if I can, and if I can't do that to your satisfaction then to hell with you. To hell with your Iowa naiveté, to hell with your teddy bear, and to hell with you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Margaret : Oh, Frank. You're so above average.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : It was the least I could do. I always do the least I can do.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : We've got files on people who haven't even been born.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : Have you ever heard of the Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture?
Radar : [intimidated] No.
Colonel Flagg : That's because it hasn't been invented... yet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : Spontaneity has its time and its place.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : I have a message: Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : What would have happened in 1776 if our brave Minutemen soldiers on their way to Lexington and Concord had to worry about toilet paper?
Hawkeye : So we would have had independence ten minutes later.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Giving advice to Hawkeye]
Father Mulcahy : This isn't one of my sermons. I expect you to listen.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Margaret : [referring to Hawkeye and Hunnicut] Those two are ruining this war... for ALL of us.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Did you really yell give me an incubator or give me death?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?"
Radar : Oh, nobody does sir.
Henry Blake : Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have too but make sure we do just in case we don't.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : One does not wax philosophical when one is about to be sent to Leavenworth...
[pause]
Charles : My God, that's in Kansas.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : The army, in its infinite wisdom has not only cleared Frank of all charges, they have assigned him to a veterans' hospital in Indiana, and promoted him to Lieutenant Colonel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : What is that odor?
Radar : Uh, north wind, cesspool, east wind, latrine.
Charles : The wind is from the south.
Radar : Oh, that's the kitchen.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : No wonder they execute people at dawn. Who wants to live at six A.M.?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Margaret]
Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : [Takes a drink of Hawkeye's home-made gin, and grimaces] I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel good.
B.J. : No; it's supposed to make you feel nothing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Margaret : I'm not so think as you drunk I am...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[about Hawkeye and BJ]
Col. Potter : Please excuse these two, they're themselves today.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Sidney Freedman : I haven't washed my hands since I became a psychiatrist.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : I could kill you with one finger.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[about Hawkeye]
Charles : Why this constant preoccupation with sex?
B.J. : Lack of occupation with sex.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter : Where's your gun?
Hawkeye : Sulking under my cot. We're not at speaking terms.
Col. Potter : Go kiss it and make up. You're taking it with you.
Hawkeye : Colonel, if I touch that gun, I'll trigger another argument.
Col. Potter : Pierce, You're taking your sidearm.
Hawkeye : [Holding up each arm in turn] Correct, I'm taking along my right side arm and my left side arm.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : How 'bout a little kiss for the road?
Margaret : Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Hawkeye : Then how 'bout one for me?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : If I said the word "sleep" three times to you, I'd put you right under.
Col. Potter : Not A chance.
Hawkeye : Oh yeah? Watch this. Sleep. Sleeeeeeep. Sleep.
[He falls asleep]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : I believe my life is about to pass before my eyes.
Col. Potter : Let me know when it does. I love a parade.
Hawkeye : Even short ones?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Klinger goes hang-gliding past in a housecoat and slippers]
Hawkeye : Did you see that?
Nurse: What?
Hawkeye : A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet.
Trapper : Hawkeye, did you see that?
Hawkeye : What did you see?
Trapper : A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet.
Hawkeye : [to the nurse] See?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[both drunk, under fire, in a foxhole]
Col. Potter : I said fire that weapon.
Hawkeye : All right.
[to the gun]
Hawkeye : You're fired.
[to Potter]
Hawkeye : I did it as gently as I could.
Col. Potter : That was an order, Pierce.
Hawkeye : [Snapping his fingers] Oh waiter, would you take this man's order, please?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : You're always wrong Frank. That's what's so right about you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[looking at Klinger]
Frank Burns : What's he doing in here?
Hawkeye : Sharing our tent.
Frank Burns : Not on your nelly. Won't catch me sleeping with an enlisted men.
Hawkeye : Frank... just wrap yourself in a flag and go to sleep.
Trapper : And don't get in bed with that gun... that's an order.
Frank Burns : A Captain can't give a Major an order.
Hawkeye : Then it's a threat.
[Short pause]
Frank Burns : Oh that's different... it was a great war until you guys showed up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : [to a patient in cardiac arrest] Live! That's an order!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter : The General answers his own phone. Must be a Unitarian.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish. I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills. I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[about his uncle]
Corporal Klinger : He'd kill for me. He'd kill for you. For $100, he'd kill for anyone.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye, Trapper, Burns, and Hot Lips are meeting several Majors]
Margaret : Major, Major Houlihan.
Major: Major Houlihan. Major Burns.
Frank Burns : Major. Major.
Hawkeye : Major Pierce. Well, I think we've made a "major" breakthrough.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Margaret : They're mocking my Majority.
Hawkeye : Well, what do you know? We're "major" mockers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : The last thing I'm going to give you ghouls is any of my blood.
Hawkeye : [to Trapper] Ghouls? What a nice thing to call us vampires.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : You're out of uniform soldier.
Nurse: Where?
Hawkeye : How about my place in ten minutes?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : I love it here.
Col. Potter : Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to decide which one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?
Radar : Well someone has to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Frank, you are 10 of the most boring people I know.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : I thought he was dead.
Trapper : He got better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English]
Frank Burns : We're making real progress.
Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Charles notices Hawkeye didn't put anything from Frank into the camp's time capsule]
Hawkeye : Well, I was going to leave his scalpel, but I didn't want to include any deadly weapons.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Margaret : Act like a man you sniveling twerp.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PA System: Due To circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[PA Announcement after 3 weeks without wounded]
PA System: Attention all personnel . Due to a lack of casualties, today's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 in the morning... And midnight has been canceled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter : Would you rather have Burns?
Hawkeye : He was more fun to be cruel to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.
Father Mulcahy : Why do you say that, Hawkeye?
Hawkeye : Simple, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?
Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe.
Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is full of them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Sidney Freedman : [to Klinger] You're a tribute to man's endurance. A monument to hope in size 12 pumps. I hope you do get out someday. There would be a battalion of men in hoop skirts right behind you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Choppers approach]
Hawkeye : [sighs] Wounded.
B.J. : Klinger says a lot.
Hawkeye : They'll never stop coming, you know. Trapper left, and they're still coming. Henry got killed, and they're still coming. Wherever they come from, they'll never run out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Everyone has just come out of a long OR session]
Margaret : [angrily] You're dismissed.
Hawkeye : Thanks, Mom. We've gotta get up early, anyway, and work on MacArthur's hernia.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Charles is the only one who can give the appropriate blood]
Hawkeye : Charles, lie down and start bleeding.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Col. Potter and Hawkeye are preparing to venture close to enemy territory]
Col. Potter : That thing loaded?
B.J. : Filled it with water myself.
Hawkeye : Watch out, everyone, I shoot to drown.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter : If Frank Burns makes any more patronizing cracks about my age, I'll take him behind the motor pool and let the air out of his tires.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Corporal Klinger : Colonel Potter, sir; Corporal Klinger. I'm section eight, Head to toe. I'm wearing a Warner bra. I like to play with dolls. My last wish is to be buried in my mother's wedding gown. I'm nuts. I should be out.
Col. Potter : Horse-hockey.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye is the temporary CO]
Hawkeye : I don't know how to give orders.
Col. Potter : That's all right. No one around here knows how to take 'em.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Discussing Trapper's opponent in a boxing tournament]
Radar : A guy told me that he was crossing the road, and this jeep came too close to him. He punched it.
Trapper : He punched a jeep?
Radar : He knocked it out.
Trapper : Hawkeye, this guy knocks out jeeps.
Hawkeye : Showboat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Frank, whatever it is, just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
Henry Blake : I was born with someone waiting to see me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Radar, turn on the news. Maybe the war just ended and I won't have to talk to her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[a chopper is carrying Lt. Col. Blake's desk away]
Hawkeye : Pardon me, Henry, isn't that your desk?
Henry Blake : Yeah, that's my genuine antique desk.
Trapper : Sending it out to be waxed?
Henry Blake : I'm not sure what it's doing up there. Just keeps going up... up... up...
Hawkeye : To a far, far better place, I'm sure.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Someone outside the Swamp is shooting]
Dr. Sidney Freedman : I'm not going out there without a bulletproof couch.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field]
B.J. : What's Frank up to?
Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Sgt. Zale, drunk, has broken his hand]
B.J. : Congratulations, Sergeant. You've just turned your right hand into a maraca. Once I set it, you can sit in with the relief band.
Zale : How come I don't feel no pain?
B.J. : It's swimming upstream against the bourbon.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : Radar, whatever it is, sign it, cancel it, or order five more.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Calling Maj. Freedman]
Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At Hawkeye's wake]
B.J. : For he was a jolly good fellow.
Col. Potter : For he was a jolly good fellow.
Everyone: For he was a jolly good fellow.
Hawkeye : For I was too young to die.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : This won't look good on your record.
Frank Burns : But colonel, it's just Reader's Digest.
Colonel Flagg : Not if you eliminate the third, fifth, and sixth letters, then it's Red's Digest, comrade.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[describing Maj. Houlihan]
Maj. Winchester : Part seductress and part Attila the Hun.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : I've got to nip this guy in the bud. This sort of behavior is contagious, you know. One guy decides he's not gonna fight anymore, it catches on, and pretty soon you know what we've got?
B.J. : Peace?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Henry is appointing a head surgeon]
Frank Burns : I'm well prepared, sir.
Henry Blake : Good, Frank. 'Cause I'm giving the job to Pierce.
Frank Burns : WHAT? You can't. I won't stand for it.
Henry Blake : Frank. The one thing that will get you nowhere with me is impersonating my wife. Now, I think that Pierce is the most fully competent surgeon around here, specializing in both chest and general surgery.
Frank Burns : Are you suggesting he's a better surgeon than I am?
Henry Blake : Yes. When the heat's on.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Describing Frank and Hot Lips in a letter to his wife]
Col. Potter : She's the head nurse. He's the head twerp.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : Sir, I was just crossing the compound when...
Frank Burns : I have no interest in the compound.
Corporal Klinger : He has no compound-interest.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Flagg : Now I'm blowing the whistle on you, Freedman.
Dr. Sidney Freedman : Blow away.
Colonel Flagg : Col. Potter, this man never signed his Loyalty Oath.
Hawkeye : Sidney. That's brilliant.
B.J. : Where do we go to not sign?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : Sir, my father knows Harry Truman. He doesn't like him, but he knows him.
Col. Potter : Fine, you have dad call Harry, then have Harry call me, and then we will work something out. In the mean time, vamoose.
Charles : Yes, sir, I am... vamoosing. But know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : It's the way these yellow devils think. It's burned into their brains. Kill Americans, kill, kill. They don't respect human life the way we do. I'd like to take him out and shoot him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me?
Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person.
Frank Burns : Aside from that.
B.J. : Well, there's your pimples.
Frank Burns : My pores won't close.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : You know that shot you gave me for the flu?
Margaret : Yes.
Hawkeye : Well it worked, I got it.
Margaret : Are you sure?
Hawkeye : Am I sure. Of course I'm sure. I want to go to a latrine that has all night service, my liver is swimming every time I look at anything, now tell me, do I have the flu or am I just in love?
[Hawkeye takes out the thermometer]
Margaret : I want to see if you have a fever.
Hawkeye : Oh trust me. I've got fever to burn.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Radar has met BJ's family in San Francisco]
BJ Hunnicut: First time my little girl ever called anybody "Daddy"...
[sobs]
BJ Hunnicut: and it wasn't ME.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : That rapier-like wit. I've seen snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Krispies.
Corporal Klinger : Oh, first I'm a plant; now, I'm breakfast food. What next?
Charles : Well, you're crude and unrefined... how about petroleum?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BJ: Big surprise dinner party. Spectacularly unforgetable. Have you ever considered renting your mouth out to the motor pool as a garage?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : I always feel very patriotic after OR. My whites are covered with red and it gives me the blues.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : Hunnicutt, I've known a lot of people in my life. You are not among them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : Hawkeye, you remind of a dog I once had. He was cheerful in the morning, just like you, so I gave him to a family of immigrant Japanese and they ate him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B.J. : I've had it with your sanctimony and your bigotry. What I need is some tranquility, like in a machine gun nest.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor?
Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trapper : Personally, I think you should grow a beard, Frank.
Frank Burns : Sure.
Trapper : No, really. The women love it.
Hawkeye : Here, I'll prove it.
[walks over to Frank]
Hawkeye : Kiss me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye and Trapper are doing obscene gestures behind Frank's back when he suddenly turns around]
Frank Burns : A-ha. I caught you.
Trapper : Doing what?
Frank Burns : Doing those obscene gestures behind my back.
Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? Which one?
Frank Burns : You know, the one...
[starts to do it]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[referring to Margaret and Frank]
Trapper : Don't you love them?
Hawkeye : You can have her, he's mine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Hello, bed. It's me, Captain Pierce. I'm coming in there.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear.
Margaret : What?
Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye's making out with one of the nurses]
Nurse #1: Hawkeye?
Hawkeye : Huh?
Nurse #1: Tell me the truth. Do you respect me?
Hawkeye : Do I respect the flag? Apple pie? Hamburgers? The loyalty of a fine dog?
Nurse #1: That's all I wanted to know.
[they continue making out]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye's making out with a nurse he thinks is married]
Hawkeye : What am I doing? What am I doing?
Nurse #2: Whatever it is, I approve.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse #3: Does every new nurse fall in love with you here?
Hawkeye : Only the ones with taste.
Nurse #3: Do you think I have any?
Hawkeye : I don't know, let me taste you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Burns : Klinger, how dare you wear that hat while in uniform.
Corporal Klinger : It's spring, sir.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Klinger reads Henry a letter from his mom that says his dad's dying]
Henry Blake : Your father's dying, right?
Corporal Klinger : Yes, sir.
Henry Blake : [takes out a stack of papers and reads them] Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Here's an oldie but a goodie: Half the family dying, the other half pregnant.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Klinger tries once again to get out of the Army]
Henry Blake : Klinger, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Corporal Klinger : Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Potter : None of us wants to be here. I don't want to be here. Radar doesn't want to be here. The doctors and nurses don't want to be here. Certainly the wounded don't want to be here. But we've got to do our best.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Mulcahy : [singing] A chaplain in the Army has a collar on his neck. If you don't listen to him, you'll all wind up in heck.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee man, I wanna go home.
BJ & Hawkeye: Surgeons in the Army. They say we're mighty bright. We work on soldiers through the day and nurses through the night.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee man, I wanna go home.
Corporal Klinger : Some guys like the Army. I think that it's a mess. If it's so damn terrific. How come I wear a dress?
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee man, I wanna go. But they won't let me go. Gee man, I wanna go home.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Margaret : Did you ever once show me any kind of friendship? Ask my help with a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this tent and hear you laughing and know... that I'm not invited? Did you ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee?
Nurse: We didn't think you'd accept.
Margaret : Well, you were wrong.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Radar : Colonel, do you know what I found in the morning's mail?
Henry Blake : Now, that's a toughie. Hum a few bars, won't you, Radar?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Henry Blake : [his last words to Radar] You behave or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye and BJ have just stumbled into a few booby traps in the Swamp set for them by Charles as he listens to a record playing Classical music]
Charles : [looking over shoulder] Please, gentlemen... Mozart.
[turns back, closes eyes contentedly]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles : A Winchester acknowledges only one 5:30 a day. This is not it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Radar has just finished demonstrating with his teddy bear to some Korean women how to give birth]
Col. Potter : Congratulations, Mrs. O'Reilly, it's a bear.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Col. Flagg: I can find anything.
Hawkeye : Can you find my virginity? I lost it about twenty years ago.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye]
Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : I've been stuck in this sewer longer than you have, and nobody wants out of here more than I do.
BJ: Really?
Hawkeye : Yeah, and let me tell you something else: you're wasting your time with that stuff. I can tell you from personal experience it won't work for long.
BJ: Really?
Hawkeye : Yeah. It may get you drunk, but it won't get you home.
BJ: Oh, yeah?
[BJ proceeds to destroy the still]
Hawkeye : What are you doing?
BJ: Just trying not to waste any more time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Hawkeye and BJ have made up after BJ punched Hawkeye in the face]
BJ: Here's mud in your eye.
Hawkeye : Beats knuckles any day.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PA: Due to the number of people bored last Sunday, next Sunday will be cancelled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Igor: See these fresh oranges? They don't grow on trees, you know.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trapper : They got a lot of guts.
Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Mulcahy : You'd be surprised what a priest can get away with.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank: Klinger, I want to see you out of that dress - - tonight!
Klinger: Sorry, sir. Never on the first date.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank: I know I'm a real asset.
Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[it is extremely hot outside]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel - incoming wounded. Out of the frying pan and into the O.R.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[some wounded arrive at or around the middle of the night]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel - quit your dreaming; it's time for the nightmare.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[some wounded arrive at or around the middle of the night]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel - we interrupt your sweet dreams to bring you the following nightmare.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[a Halloween party is in progress]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel - some party guests have arrived - dressed as wounded soldiers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[some wounded arrive at or around the middle of the night]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel - this is your wake-up call.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[yet more wounded arrive at or around the middle of the night]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel - rise and whine; we have more wounded. Don't make any plans for the weekend... or the week.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PA System Announcer: Hear ye, Hear ye, it's 0700 and all is hell. Incoming wounded, folks.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[there has been a long wait for a large load of wounded people]
PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel... the wounded you've all been waiting for has finally arrived in person... report to the Big Top immediately; the circus is about to begin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Radar, you'll be assisting Margaret Houlihan, nurse, friend and all around good egg.
[walks away as Radar stares at Margaret]
Margaret : [noticing Radar staring at her] He's very sick.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] His draft board went crazy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gen. Mitchell : I wonder if you doctors understand going through channels, military-wise speaking.
Trapper : Sir, we started with a captain, went on to a major, then to a colonel.
Hawkeye : On the way, we've encountered oral compulsiveness, raging paranoia, and a colonel who's shipping Korea to Switzerland one dollar at a time.
Trapper : Which makes you the next contestant, Colonel.
Hawkeye : And the subject you've chosen is "Incubators."
Trapper : And we need one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Lambert : [describing General Mitchell] Honest, true blue as the day is long, and about as interesting as a five-pound bag of fertilizer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye : Hotlips, if you don't get out of here, I'm gonna kill you.
Radar : It's Radar.
Hawkeye : Radar, if you don't get out of here, I'm gonna kill Hotlips
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

gypsyfish wins the trivia prize of the day. Congrats to you. Smile

Bonus points for spelling it right.

I would like some statistical evidence that enlistments went up after the release of MASH in '70 (?). I don't recall any sudden rush to the recruiters in my neighborhood in those days. If anything, it seems to me people had just one more reason to add to the list of why they didn't want to go to Vietnam.

When I first arrived here, I was surprised that Koreans even knew about the TV show. I was even more surprised that they disliked it. As far as I can remember, episode after episode went by without anyone pretending to be a Korean even appearing on the show. There was that woman who ran the officers' bar, but she was about the only 'Korean' on any regular basis. In my opinion, MASH was the victim of the same syndrome as "Falling Down" (Wasn't that the name of that Michael Douglas flick?) Someone somewhere at some time said it was insulting to Korea, so everyone everywhere turned against it without ever having seen it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
Page 3 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International