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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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sparkx
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: thekimchipot.com
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 Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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| nateyb wrote: |
| CLG wrote: |
Side rant*:
I don't think that it's right for people to diss the OP about his decisions, it's his life. He asked what the procedures are and if people suggest a few other options that's cool but in the end he has to live his life and it's up to him how he can do this in a way that makes him happy.
If you want to do a discussion on the sanctity of marriage start a damn thread this isn't the place. |
Damn Skippy. It is not our place to pass judgement on this guy because of your views on the institution of marriage. Get off the soap box and if you have some help for the guy, help him. Otherwise, shut up. |
Hear, hear.
Believe it or not people, life is hardly ever black and white. There are times where divorce, kids or no kids, is actually the SMART choice.
Some of the most psychologically screwed up people i've met grew up in households where the parents stayed together because of their religious obligation to do so even though they hated each other and fought every damn day.
The sanctity of marriage my sweet, egg shell white, perfect ass |
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FlagWaver
Joined: 12 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| My K-gal wife beats me! She's mean. BUT then she says, I love you honey...so I think everything is ok. |
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OneWayTraffic
Joined: 14 Mar 2005
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: Making some headway... |
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Finally got to talk properly to her last night. Hopefully things taking a turn for the better after days of no communication.
Anyone who says that divorce is an easy option has neither been married or a parent IMO. Even if we did divorce we'd still be in each others lives making arrangements for our daughter ...kindergarten, highschool university fees, marriage, becoming grandparents...
As I understand it most people who get divorced regret the divorce afterwards; at least for a while. |
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canadian_in_korea
Joined: 20 Jun 2004
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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That's good news onewaytraffic.. ...I hope everything works out. |
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Daechidong Waygookin
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Location: No Longer on Dave's. Ive quit.
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:54 pm Post subject: Re: Making some headway... |
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| OneWayTraffic wrote: |
Finally got to talk properly to her last night. Hopefully things taking a turn for the better after days of no communication.
Anyone who says that divorce is an easy option has neither been married or a parent IMO. Even if we did divorce we'd still be in each others lives making arrangements for our daughter ...kindergarten, highschool university fees, marriage, becoming grandparents...
As I understand it most people who get divorced regret the divorce afterwards; at least for a while. |
Korean women are often very hot headed. I think that if you give her time to calm down and cool off, she will be more reasonable. As you said, the pregnancy is making her loopy. Try not to piss her off and she will cool off. I hope so for you anyway, and your daughter. Still, some counselling would be a good idea to help her deal with the stress and the pregnancy. |
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mercury
Joined: 05 Dec 2004
Location: Pusan
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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Look up Borderline Personality Disorder..........it is in the DSM-IV-R
You will see some very interesting things that will help you start to understand women here. In a recent post one guy talked about his girlfriend always going 'crazy', and then threatening to kill herself. This is Borderline Personality Disorder. Uncontrollable rage, the guy must constantly 'walk on egg shells' or his girlfriend will react!Look it up! |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:51 am Post subject: |
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| Where does it say that she is pregnant??? |
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dg611
Joined: 11 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 1:46 am Post subject: consider this |
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Having a K-wife (kinda catchy eh?) is a constant curiosity.
I have heard from other foreigners the same kind of problems over and over again...psycotic behavior, death threats on both self and husband, walking out, beating the husband, being mean to the kids, threatening divorce, etc. Thing is, it happens with Korean men too! It's not just us (thank god!) Speak softly and calmly (never raising your voice above a wisper) Maintain a jovial but non-condescending tone of voice and usually, they calm down by morning. Whatever the problem was, it's best never to speak of it again.
You could try what I do....let your wife beat you or smack you a few times. I let her smack my face hard or punch me in the stomach a few times. Sure it hurts a bit, but usually she starts laughing so hard, she can't be angry any more. Works every time.
As for going to a counselor....unless you want the marital equivalent of nuclear holocost in your home, I suggest to avoid this unless you can somehow convince her that it was her idea. First, airing your dirty laundry to a stranger is just not something that is done (its not even done with family and friends!!!). Second, going to a counselor is equivalent to seeing a shrink...something only crazy people do. You wanna see your wife go through the roof suggest you see a shrink...eeesh!
I'm with you one-way, seems a bit overwhelming when they start talking about divorce...they don't really mean it most of the time. Even if they do, there's not much you can do to stop it if it got that far.
Good luck |
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canadian_in_korea
Joined: 20 Jun 2004
Location: South Korea
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 3:41 am Post subject: Re: consider this |
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| dg611 wrote: |
Having a K-wife (kinda catchy eh?) is a constant curiosity.
I have heard from other foreigners the same kind of problems over and over again...psycotic behavior, death threats on both self and husband, walking out, beating the husband, being mean to the kids, threatening divorce, etc. Thing is, it happens with Korean men too! It's not just us (thank god!) Speak softly and calmly (never raising your voice above a wisper) Maintain a jovial but non-condescending tone of voice and usually, they calm down by morning. Whatever the problem was, it's best never to speak of it again.
You could try what I do....let your wife beat you or smack you a few times. I let her smack my face hard or punch me in the stomach a few times. Sure it hurts a bit, but usually she starts laughing so hard, she can't be angry any more. Works every time.
As for going to a counselor....unless you want the marital equivalent of nuclear holocost in your home, I suggest to avoid this unless you can somehow convince her that it was her idea. First, airing your dirty laundry to a stranger is just not something that is done (its not even done with family and friends!!!). Second, going to a counselor is equivalent to seeing a shrink...something only crazy people do. You wanna see your wife go through the roof suggest you see a shrink...eeesh!
I'm with you one-way, seems a bit overwhelming when they start talking about divorce...they don't really mean it most of the time. Even if they do, there's not much you can do to stop it if it got that far.
Good luck |
I'm confused here....are you telling him to let his wife abuse him instead of going to counselling???? Imagine the reaction I would get if I gave that advice to another woman....."just let him hit you a few times, then it will be better"....come on guys....we are supposed to be living in an age of equality here.....that works for you too. A woman has no right to hit you anymore than a man has a right to hit his wife. It doesn't matter if your wife is korean, western or from mars....abuse is abuse. |
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Squid
Joined: 25 Jul 2003
Location: Sunny Anyang
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 4:53 am Post subject: |
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1. Take care of yourself physically. Don't let your stress change your regular eating habits. Get enough sleep.
2. Get your financial house in order. If necessary open a new account with a respected international bank. Stop spending. Pay off your credit cards. Close jointly held accounts.
3. Have important documents at a moment's notice. Passport, drivers license, original birth certificate, deeds of possession or of ownership.
4. Arrange accomodation for yourself which is suitable to take your daughter. You may not need this (read: arrange) but knowing how and where to get it will give you peace of mind.
5. Independently secure any items of great value, sentimental or liquid assets (jewelry).
The rest is moralizing garbage fit for dog tucker. Perhaps one exception (gord). DW- That's the last time your monumental piety gets my attention. |
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