Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ChimpumCallao]

Marge: "Homer, that's your solution to everything: to move under the sea. It's not going to happen."

Homer: "Not with THAT attitude.

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"I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute." -- Homer Simpson

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"Attempted murder, really, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?" -- Sideshow Bob

[capebretoncanadian]

On one of the Halloween episodes when they abolished guns in Springfield don't know if I have it exactly right

Homer saying goodbye to his gun while crying: "Farewell Mr.Blasty. Soon you'll be shooting angels in heaven"

[ulsanchris]

Homer, "Weaseling out of stuff is an important lesson to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals. . . . except the weasel of course."

Lisa. Shut up brain. I don't need you anymore.
Friends all disapear.

Lisa's brain. "hahaha. Look who's crawling back."

I am evil Homer.

[chipotle]

Gotta stick with the Ralph quotes

(about tomacco)
Ralph: Oh daddy, this tastes like grandma!
Chief Wiggum: Holy moses, it does taste like grandma!
Ralph: I want more!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah me too... we'll take a bushel or a peck or... just give it to me.

(going through sugar withdrawl) "My baby! Where's my baby!"

"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

and my favorite- during the fruit races:
"Go banana!"

[indytrucks]

Two of my favourites ... Lionel Hutz and Barney.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."


Barney: Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.

[Poemer]

It's a gift certificate to JC Penneys, you'll love their slacks

Why, that would require some type of. . .re-bigulator

Good Glaaaavin!

[Poemer]

Now, If you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico--God

[waggo]

The Tv pilot episode.

Homer"wahhhh Hi name's just like my name"

[ulsanchris]

homer just hits a statue of a deer
homer, "D'oh!"
lisa. "A deer!"
marge "A female deer."

Bart goes to Camp Krusty

Marge, "HOmer, remember your promise to the kids."
HOmer, "YOu're out the door when your 18.

[guangho]

Nelson (walking around dazed, hugging anything in his way): "Papa? Papa?"
Mrs. Krabapple: For heavens' sakes, I can see why he left.


Moe: Gimme some of that Indian yaki tea. (Sipping.) That's some good yaki.


Nelson: Ha-ha.
Tall man: Do you find amusement in my height? Or perhaps you think it funny that my socio-economic circumstances force me to drive an automobile which is ill-suited for my stature?

Judge 1: But I was just about to bang my gavel! Making the sentence official!
Judge 2: The clown is down.

Homer: Africa! They are bound to have plenty of food there!

Homer: You have made promises of a vacational nature and I expect you to honor them!
Cracker company exec: We won't though.

Homer: (sitting in the Japanese restaurant "Americatown", where the tables are shaped like the 50 states.) I can't believe they stuck us in Taxachusetts.

Lenny: I'm Lenny.
Carl: And I'm Carl. I'm the urban Lenny.

[AbbeFaria]

I've got a Simpson's Widget, so I've got a few:

Grandpa:

Let's see... I'm an Elk, a Mason, a communist... I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason. Ah, here it is! The Stonecutters.

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

Dear Advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Some of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is I never want to hear on television again..

Barney:

An election!? That's one of those deals where they close the bars isn't it?

Uh oh, my heart just stopped. Ah...there it goes.

These fumes aren't as fun as beer. Sure, I'm all dizzy and nauseous, but where's the inflated sense of self-esteem

Chief Wiggum:

Milhouse: I can't go to juvie! They use guys like me as currency!
Wiggum: Yeah, they'll pass you around like... like currency, like you said.

----

Chief Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: I'm pretty sure there is.

Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle...

Lou: Hey, she's right Chief. [shows him 'Springfield Law']

Wiggum: Well, shut my month. It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling... Boys, knock it off!

----

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. I repeat, hatless.

----

Wiggum: All right, smart guy, where's the fire?
Homer: Over there.

Wiggum: Okay, you just bought yourself a 317, pointing out police stupidity. Oh wait, is that a 314? No, 314 is a dog, uh, in, no, is that a 315? Eh, you're in trouble, pal.

Flanders:

Flanders: I'm a murderer! I'm a mur-diddley-urgler!

There's only one god. Just one. Well, sometimes there's three.

I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.

I don't need to be told what I think.... by anyone living.

Rex Banner: Are you the Beer Baron?
Ned: Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guilt-diddily-ildly as char-didily-arged!

Rex Banner: He's not the Baron, but he sounds drunk. Take him in.

Rod Flanders: Are you jealous of Brother Homer?
Ned Flanders: Maybe just a little bit.

Rod: I'm jealous of girls 'cause they get to wear dresses.

Ned: One problem at a time, boy.

And Harry Potter, and all his wizard friends... went straight to Hell for practicing witchcraft.

My Satan sense is tingling! To the root cellar, boys!


There's a few. I can post more later if anyone is interested.

-S-

[hypnotist]

Marge goes to prison:

Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much! And it's not just the sex - it's also the food preparation.

The kitchen is transformed from clean and tidy into a cesspit of disgusting proportions, and after a few seconds a caption appears...
"5 minutes later"

That episode rules.

[jajdude]

Marge: Homer, do you know why I married you?

Homer: Because I knocked you up?

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Lisa: She has the melancholy of a Tenessee Williams heorine.

Homer: Don't you think I know that.

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[dbee]

<homer describing the fictious man who was supposed to have car-jacked him in the church parking lot>

Wiggum: Can you describe the suspect Homer ?
Homer: Sure ... he was kind of a loner ... kept to himself mostly

<The one where Moe changes his bar and Homer, Lenny and Carl get banned>
Lisa: Dad, don't you think that opening your own bar just to spite moe is going a bit too far.
Homer: It's not about spite lisa, it's about petty revenge ... and getting back at that traitor moe

[mswiftansan]

The one where Jimbo gets it on with Barts babysitter

Jimbo: My shirt's chaffin' me. Is it ok if I take it off?
.....Awe man, now my pants are chaffin' me.