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Clutch Cargo
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Location: Sim City 2005
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 Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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"I'm thinking about becoming a nun."
"I think I'm pregnent." |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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| shortskirt_longjacket wrote: |
Hee hee! Is that a dog taking a crap on a rug? Funny!
As far as "lines" I've delivered:
Me: You smoke too much weed. It's ruining your ambition and I just plain do not like your personality when you're high.
Him: I'll try to quit.
another time:
Me: I don't want to be with you anymore. (This was to a boyfriend I'd had for three years and I just didn't enjoy his company as much anymore. Plus, he was a jealous a-hole.)
Him: That's not true and you know it.
Me: No, really, it is true.
Him: No, it's not.
(this back-and-forth goes on for a while)
(finally) Me: Ugh, I give up. (Stayed with him another two years) |
No, that dog is on guard duty. Not "duty" duty.
Longjacket, your break-up lines were good, but they didn't work. Oh, and say that isn't true -- you didn't really stay with the second one for two whole years just because he argued you into it.  And "a-hole"... is that how you really felt about him, or is it just for dramatic effect? Um, I see an unhealthy pattern here. You're falling in love with the wrong men, and they fall for you and they refuse to let go, and then you spend years with people who you don't love or... apparently even respect a great deal. If this continues, marry one of them -- you've got to break the cycle of tedium.
I had a girl who I stuck with for three long years. Laughed, cried, fought, broke up and got right back together again... She moved on long ago, and I often regret not marrying her. But things were different, a lot more conservative than in these liberated, enlightened times... And I just don't think they would have let eight-year-olds marry back then.
Last edited by JongnoGuru on Fri Nov 25, 2005 7:40 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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Thunndarr
Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sure we've all heard the old standby "I think we need to see other people."
Well, one lovely girl I was dating back when I was young and naive (as opposed to the bitter, soulless, cynic I've since become) once gave me this variation of that tired old gem:
"I think YOU need to see other people."
Ouch.
Of course, being young and stupid at the time, I did not get the immediate gist of what she was saying, which was basically that she wanted me to start seeing other people to alleviate the modicum of guilt she was feeling for having already started seeing other people. Crafty she-devil!
Another time, I also received the whole "We should just be friends" line after asking out a girl who was CLEARLY interested in me. There's a story there that's too long to get into, but trust me on that score. In any case, having since become ever-so-slightly more jaded to the wiles of women, I replied with, "Thank you, but I already have enough friends." Zing!
Don't feel too bad for the girl however, she more than got me back for my brief moment of victory. |
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animalbirdfish
Joined: 04 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Her: "I've met a woman." |
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Paji eh Wong
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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| JG wrote: |
| By the second time, I was wise to the cat-like craftiness of the female species, and so I just agreed with her: *long silence* "You know... I'm so glad you said that. There's this other girl and.... well, I've been trying to find the right time, the right way to tell you about her, but I just didn't want to hurt you. Thank God, at last we can be honest with each other now. What a relief this is, you just don't know. Neutral" |
Well played sir.
| Quote: |
| Are most people happier being single? |
4 out of 5 times, I'd say "yes".
We are going to become extinct ladies and gentlemen. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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crazylemongirl
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:28 am Post subject: |
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My favorite break up-lines that I've used:
I'm moving to Korea....
You are driving my completly crazy, I need out before I run you over with my car.
I'm sorry I was under the impression I was your girlfriend, not your mother.
Yes, I was just using you for sex. |
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Privateer
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:20 am Post subject: |
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Hater Depot
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:47 am Post subject: |
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"My mind tells me I don't love you anymore. I don't know why, just it tells me. But I'll send you a letter."
Hm that was in September.. stil waiting for that letter.  |
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hypnotist
Joined: 04 Dec 2004
Location: I wish I were a sock
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:04 am Post subject: |
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"I don't think it's going to work" - not when you now have a new girlfriend, anyway. 
"There's too much uncertainty in our lives". This one actually turned out to be pretty fair - I left for Korea and ended up staying for a year. |
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Wrench
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:58 am Post subject: |
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I used this one on my ex-fiance: I hate you and I never want to see you again.
Ex: But I love you, please don't go.. Blah blah *sob*sob*
I never spoke with her again.
Another one I used: I am bored with this relationship and I am frankly bored with you. |
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ChimpumCallao
Joined: 17 May 2005
Location: your mom
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 7:11 am Post subject: |
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I have never explicitly broken up with ANYONE. How uncomfortable. I always just stop answering my phone...actually that was the ONLY way ive ever done it...A LOT...what a horrible person...
when I lived with my grandma i would just have her do it for me....
the only close thing to a break up i had was...
"Oh...I'm in South Korea now. Don't email me because you are boring and crazy."
and to rapier...I've usually been single or at least not in very serious relationships and I think if you truly find someone you have a great time with and can spend all your time with and still want more...after a long time, its better than being alone. Im happier now than when i was single (But was happier single than in shiitty/boring relationships!) |
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Bo Peabody
Joined: 25 Aug 2005
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 7:46 am Post subject: |
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[deleted]
Last edited by Bo Peabody on Thu May 02, 2013 2:01 pm; edited 4 times in total |
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khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Compunction Junction
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| Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 3:55 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| Quote: |
| Are most people happier being single? |
4 out of 5 times, I'd say "yes".
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man...i just cannot agree with that. But to each his own.
She: I can't be around you you're smothering me
Me <throws proverbial pillow accross room>: What are you talking about? No i'm not...
i wasn't really all there at that point in my life because of....
She (to ME): I like you, but i don't want to be around you.
She (to our mutual friend): I really like him but I don't want to be around him cause he makes me want to **** his brains out.
We were in uni... i thought she just wanted to move "real slow". turns out she wanted to go backwards.
Me (to our mutual friend): sounds like she has issues
Me (to SHE): pitter patter of frantic running feet.
I told a *beep* buddy, before we got involved that i was leaving in a month. Still ended up hurting her (unbeknownst to me till months later), but BOY did we live up to that label....! |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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Can't believe no-one has mentioned the all-time classic BREAKUP LIE.
Ladies, this is only to be used as a last resort, when a guy is just too thick or wilful to get a clue and make a graceful exit. As I've been known to be on occasion. (Her: Guru, you deserve someone better than me. Guru: No I don't! You're all I deserve! Why do you think I'm so deserving??? I'm not!!! )
If you never want to see a man again, say, ��I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children�� �� they leave skid marks.
I can understand if most women are reluctant to use this one. It's the tactical nuclear weapon of the entire Breakup Lie arsenal. And God knows what you'd do if it backfires and he actually agrees. |
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