Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Lemonade]

[tryptych600]

I didn't necessarily want to 'buy' anything with my two cents. I simply wanted to give it.

And I do want to answer this. Just to explain my viewpoint a little bit more.

One point I will concede is my statement punishments are a lot less physical in the west was probably far too generalised. My meaning here is closer to 'coming from where I'm from and considering the culture that has shaped me I have very very rarely been in the presence of any kind of teacher-to-child violence within schools'. This is closer to what I meant.

..if you are a cold hearted SOB who only cares about him/herself. Totally insensitive and indifferent

I may well be 'a cold hearted SOB' but for you to rapidly deduce this simply from my previous post without knowing anything else about me, or the situation I've described, is more than a tad judgemental, don't you think?

you should teach the proper ways of reporting abuse to children, if there even is such a thing

Well, no, there isn't such a thing, to my mind. You are simply in a situation and you react how you react. This is how I reacted.

You really need to understand the issues of child abuse and how children react in such cases. Your ignorance is blantantly obvious here.

O.K. Let's say I am 'ignorant' and that I 'don't understand the issues of child abuse'. Tell me what you know about these issues then. I'm happy to listen. Maybe we can both learn something.

(this is just a bunch of BS. Violence against children should NEVER be associated with "culture." Let's make that distintion right now.)

I'd argue that we are ALL products of a culture, a society. Everything we think, say and do will be conditioned by that. The important word in your response, for me, here, is the word 'should'. I'm not speaking ideally here. I think you may have misunderstood me. I didn't suggest that culture should be used as an excuse for violence. I'm saying violence, as a human act, is a product of culture, of society.. a reflection of what it tolerates and doesn't tolerate, of what it does or doesn't acknowledge. I don't have a problem with you disagreeing with me at all.. but dismissing it as BS is a little harsh don't you think?

This strikes me as rather arrogant *(whatever Let me BEAT you and see if you like it and call it "culture.")

If you wanted to beat me then fine. I wouldn't particularly like it but there you go. But I wouldn't fight you because I'm a pacifist. If you had to beat me to prove a point then, rightly or wrongly, that would be a reflection on you. As to culture, it would depend on where we were at the time, as to how people around would react. But, I'm probably pontificating far too much on this.. because, in essence, I think this analogy doesn't really run. A person beating up another person because of a disagreement on moral grounds is very different from a hagwon owner administering a beating to their son in a teachers room.

It was awful. What can you do *(that's easy, you speak up for the child and your sensibilities - that is IF YOU have any, which I doubt)? He is HER son. She was MY boss *(boss or no boss, I have my sensibilities which are not essentially "culture" related. I ALWAYS try to put MYSELF In the shoes of the one HURTING and that's part of being a mature ADULT with compassion, empathy and concern. I'd put that boss in a VERY precarious situation saying something to the effect of, "I don't appreciate you BEATING the hell out of your child in my presence and if you EVER do that again I will STOP you. If you refuse to stop, I will leave the building and NEVER return. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD! This is where I draw the LINE. I will not stand back and allow that to happen!)*

I'd disagree and say that our sensibilities are "culture" related. You might not like it but I believe they are (my own too, of course..and yes, I think of myself as having sensibilities.. but they are obviously different sensibilities to yours)

If you were born and raised in a country during a time when people were shot for disagreeing with their bosses it would be easier to turn a blind eye to a beating, surely. In the same way, it stands to reason that, in this case, you would find this experience difficult, as I did, and would want to tell them to stop because you are from a place where public displays of violence such as this are generally not tolerated.

I hope you don't think I'm belittling your feelings but my argument is that we do have these specific feelings as a result of the experiences, or lack of certain experiences, that we've grown most accustomed to, from within our own culture.

My initial What can you do? in that quote above was very much a question and I'm happy to hear your viewpoint (pm me if you want) BUT I think being called a SOB, ignorant and being told that what I say is BS is going a bit far and doesn't really help either if us.

Incidentally, my boss didn't speak a word of English, along with most of the Korean staff (some of them knew a few words, a couple of them knew enough to teach basic English but were in trouble when it came to conversation) in the teacher's room. I was the only foreigner working there.

I've been studying Korean, but "I don't appreciate you BEATING the hell out of your child in my presence and if you EVER do that again I will STOP you. If you refuse to stop, I will leave the building and NEVER return. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!" is still too difficult for me. I need to study more. We all need to study more.

If I'd stormed out morally outraged, as you suggest, for a 'last-straw scenario', I believe that, in a busy teachers room with people coming and going, at very best (and call me cynical if you like), it would have been interpreted as 'someone very disturbed about something leaving a room'. Not to excuse myself at all, but it also depends on who the other people in the room are, and their take on it too, I guess (perhaps it would need a Korean to give us their interpretation on this one?)

Best wishes,
tryp

[Zenpickle]

It's not really shocking what the student told me. It's what he did.

I had the kindergarten lining up to go home. Our routine is to sing a song before filing out the classroom. I was wondering why Paul wasn't paying attention.

I looked around, and he had his pants down and was tugging on his tally like there was no tomorrow.

[laogaiguk]

Today two of my grade 6 girls came up to me after class...

"What is a lesbian? Is it a girl loves a girl?" (then they hug and pretend to kiss to help with the question). I say yes.
"What about a man love a man?" (2 seconds) "Is it gay?". I say yes. Nothing shocking yet.

"What about a man love an animal, dog, cat, ...?" ... This is when I say bye bye and wave them out of the classroom.

Not too shocking, but strange question coming from grade 6's.

[poet13]

the most shocking thing a student has ever told me is, "I will do my homework tonight if my favorite tv program isnt on. If it is, I will do it this weekend."

This came from a student who rarely could manage more than "OK" to any question.

gotta love 'em

[Hater Depot]

One girl started to give me a shoulder rub. It felt damn good but I made her stop.

Then she asked me how to say anma in English.

[poet13]

anma?

[The Cosmic Hum]

I think it means "massage"...not so strange given the context.

[Corporal]

A ten-year-old, in a journal entry, wrote that he was sad and angry because his mom had beaten him that day. Why had she beaten him? Because his dad had beaten her.

Actually I think what annoyed me most about this was the fact that the (female) Korean teachers laughed when I told them about it afterwards.

[Hater Depot]

[ulsanchris]

i think �ȸ� just means massage but you can get a certain type of massage at an �ȸ�.

[chiaa]

I don't have students anymore but last week while in the sauna a 14 year old boy told me I was handsome. Remember, you are not clothed in a sauna...

[blackjack]

I just got told by one of my ten year old students that her mum liked me, passionately. Well your meant to keep the parents happy...

[pegpig]