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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Roch
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul
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 Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:40 am Post subject: |
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| kimchi story wrote: |
7am to 8am Mon - Fri on the webcam. Saturday and Sunday between 8am and 5pm - webcam's on as we go about our day.
It's possible, but man it sucks. |
My God, you two have a lot of guts and faith in one another.
I'm about to take my next swig of Wild Turkey in honour of the two of you and your continued success.
God bless!
Sincerely,
R |
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kimchi story
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:42 am Post subject: |
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Roch - you just made my night. And it sucked fairly, beforehand.
Thanks. Wild Turkey...yum. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:00 am Post subject: |
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| kimchi story wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I just think a married couple living like this for 2 years is downright ridiculous and foolish. Trust is not the only issue. Why get married if you are still going to be alone?????? Some girlfriends/boyfriends see each other more than this. You are talking about marriage here, not dating. I guess you married someone who puts work before her husband. I feel sorry for you. |
Let's not forget what else you said there, sweetie. By your own logic, you must be just hideous on the eyes.
Just go ask Koreans?
BWAHAAAHAA!! |
That's right. I AM HIDEOUS!!!!!!!! I weigh 500 big, fat pounds. I haven't been with a man in years. hahahahahahaha We all know that all white women are hideous, fat and ugly, now don't we????  |
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kimchi story
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:04 am Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| We all know that all white women are hideous, fat and ugly |
Okaaay. I'm not sure of your point, there. But maybe with another it will become clear. Can you help me out?
And whether or not you've been with a guy? EEEWwwwww, nasty. |
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Roch
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:32 am Post subject: |
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| kimchi story wrote: |
Roch - you just made my night. And it sucked fairly, beforehand.
Thanks. Wild Turkey...yum. |
I meant that tow people in general can do it if they really want to.
Wild Turkey is top-shelf bourbon. Bourbon is perhaps the most underrated spirit on the planet. Anyway, mix a bit with some Shweppes or even Canada Dry Ginger Ale and a clean ice cube or two for a very tasty High Ball coctail. |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:18 am Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
I just think a married couple living like this for 2 years is downright ridiculous and foolish. Trust is not the only issue. Why get married if you are still going to be alone?????? Some girlfriends/boyfriends see each other more than this. You are talking about marriage here, not dating. I guess you married someone who puts work before her husband. I feel sorry for you.  |
Um, think about soldiers. Two years is not unusual for such people. Why is it hard for us to imagine and yet conceivable for them to do, even possible, yea, in most cases doable? They know they have to be strong for a higher purpose than just each other. Not a lot of people exist in the world who can conceive that there IS such a higher purpose, serving the people around them.
It happens. Conceive of it. |
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dutchy pink
Joined: 06 Feb 2007
Location: Incheon
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:07 am Post subject: |
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ok, first, bobster, soldier love and faith and moral high road stories hold no water in my book. In fact, i feel like i must have read it wrong. anyway
I was gonna post this in the 'biggest mistakes you ever made' thread...
I was in a great relationship, but left to do something i thought i had to do to be happy in life. Ahh. how wrong i was. I was happy in life, happier than ever before or since. whatever i thought i was looking for, or you think you are looking for, aint worth it if you know you are happy now. If you really plan on being together in such and such a time, why waste what little time you have to be apart. You may die next month, won't you just kick yourself then, not dying in his or her arms.
4 years on from that day, who knows if i'm better off now or if we stayed together. If i could do it all over again, I would never have walked out that door.
The question to ask is "is leaving each other really that important? and don't pretend everything will be ok.
Assume the worst. Would you still leave? knowing you may never be together again? |
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lastat06513
Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Location: Sensus amo Caesar , etiamnunc victus amo uni plebian
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:28 am Post subject: |
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I didn't intend on him getting banned from the forum- I mean, I am not in Korea at the moment and I sometimes write "off the wall" threads too, should I be banned? 
Princess- What about those families that are forced to be away from each other (IE, military couples/ families) where one or in some cases these days, both spouses are on seperate assignments on the opposite ends of the globe (another IE, a male soldier in Afghanistan and his wife assigned in Iraq).
Not only do these couples have to cope with the fact of being seperated, but there are several more troublesome factors to consider (none of which are good) that make them worry about each other, especially in this day and age.
The advantage an ESL teacher has is that his assignment is not life-threatening (well......so to speak) and he/ she can always go back to their perspective partner in the end.
The only barrier that can stop it is the commitment, such as trust issues, but as many here have mentioned, there are ways around it.
Please stop me if I sound old-fashioned, but I feel that allowing your partner to seek a "friend with benefits" is a good way to put a wedge between the couple.
As another poster had mentioned, it all depends on which is more important; your partner or your goals?
Sad but definitely true in most cases....... 
I was married for 13 months (I got married as an ESL teacher and now divorced) and during that time, we spent 5 months apart because I was in transit between places. I think the best moments of the marriage was when we were reunited, because we appreciated what we thought we meant to each other. I think I fell in love with the concept than the actual person.
I personally believe; distance makes the heart grow fonder.... |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:28 am Post subject: |
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| dutchy pink wrote: |
i feel like i must have read it wrong. anyway
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Yeah, I think you did. Happens to everyone once in a while.
Again, think about soldiers. Why do they leave their family behind? They think what they are doing is important. Not gonna try to say that teaching English is anywhere near as important as risking your life to help your country ... but if an important relationship might be lost, think hard about the reasons. All I'm sayin'. |
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dutchy pink
Joined: 06 Feb 2007
Location: Incheon
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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why do soldiers leave there family behind....
they have no choice.
they signed their life away to be controlled by the Govt., so they have go where they are told.
If you love your country more than your wife/potential wife.. we must have had different experiences of love.
Are you married?
Have a significant GF?
do you love your country more than her?
Would you choose country over person? |
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lastat06513
Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Location: Sensus amo Caesar , etiamnunc victus amo uni plebian
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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No....it is more of a career choice to join the military that has gone awry these days because of the "War on terror".....
But then again.....they did sign their life away. But it was more of a choice that was to give their family a better standard of living then if they were working in the private sector, though the private sector had fewer risks...
ESL/EFL/TESL is a professional choice, it can bring alot of rewards, but there are some sacrifices that come with it. A person has to weigh the options.
Case in point- I had a choice to transfer to a good tech high school, but 2 weeks before the end of the school year, i met a girl. I had to make a choice between going to the tech high school or staying in the conventional high school to try to meet up with the girl.
Silly me- I chose the girl and I regretted every moment of my decision.
So now, if it comes down to either what is good for me or what is good for the other person, I choose what is good for me because no one is certain if that other person will be there later, but your experience and knowledge you gained will last throughout your career if your do something for yourself... |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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| dutchy pink wrote: |
| ok, first, bobster, soldier love and faith and moral high road stories hold no water in my book. In fact, i feel like i must have read it wrong. anyway |
Maybe, but if those 3 things you lack any importance to you, likely it seems, life will give you one or more problems down the road ... yeah, we all get problems, but trying to deal with them without love of those around you, faith that the future can be better and trying to live the best way you can manage? Good luck, and send me a telegram if it works out for you ...
| Quote: |
| You may die next month, won't you just kick yourself then, not dying in his or her arms. |
I married a lady, the last one I will ever, and the sweetest thing she said to me, sweetest thing ANYone ever said to me, is the one I have no power to agree to : "Just don't die before me."
I laughed and told her, "I guess I'll have to murder you. Only way to be sure. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and we'd both be unhappy ... don't worry, I'll try to make it quick and painless, while you are asleep, so maybe you won't notice." She has a sense of humor, else I wouldn't be hanging around ...
Time for cliches, so here goes. What is happening NOW is the most important thing, and that's what we pay attention to. It's called the present, because it is a gift ... I already warned you about the cliche thing, but it's true, right now is all you can control, the only thing you can use to create a future reality out of.
Anxiety is feeling pain over things that have not happened yet. Regret is feeling pain over things that are gone and far away, and the only value it has is to give a little wisdom not to do the same things that hurt you before.
Look around yourself, look at the world. There's a lot you can do to make it better right now, make things better for you. Give it a try. The rewards are incalculable ...
Just a few thoughts, take them for what they're worth. I'm not an expert, but my life is generally happy, though there were times when I was not, and right now, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Hope you can also ... everyone deserves that.
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| Assume the worst. Would you still leave? knowing you may never be together again? |
Why not assume the best? Why not assume that you can make your life and be happy in it? A love relationship is not a means to be happy - it's what you do after you are already happy and want to give that happiness to someone else. Everybody wins.
You walked away from someone or they walked away from you. Life is not over. Look around. The sun still rises every day. It's raining right now, as I write this, but I have a feeling the sky will be shining and blue when I wake up next time ... I don't know it, but I might as well think so, since I don't know the opposite.
Smile. It works, most of the time. |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 1:30 am Post subject: |
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| dutchy pink wrote: |
| they signed their life away to be controlled by the Govt., so they have go where they are told. |
Never been a soldier, so I can't say for sure, but I've talked to some, and none ever gave me the impression they thought they had signed away their soul ... they have life goals, and often the military can make those things happen for them. Also, they have this strange idea - in the present case, I DO beleive it is delusional - that what they do helps their families back home, protects them somehow ... not for me to tell them they are wrong, since they are risking more than I would.
| Quote: |
If you love your country more than your wife/potential wife.. we must have had different experiences of love.
Are you married?
Have a significant GF?
do you love your country more than her?
Would you choose country over person? |
I love my country, but there are few who have ever been asked to choose between one or the other ... to be apart from the one you love most for a specified time, now, that's a little different. We can talk about that.
The other questions, honestly asked, honestly answered.
Yes.
Yes. (The same person, just to head off speculation.)
About exactly the same, I think. Hard to say, comes down to it ... can you? Can you really?
Already answered, but you need to get back to perspective. The question is whether you can love someone and be away from them for a period of time in order to do something that might be important to you, to the other person, to everybody.
I offered the example of soldiers as merely an example, and not for a moment do I want anyone to think that teaching the English alphabet to kids in Korea has any kind of moral worth comparable to risking your life on the battlefield.
It was just an example, that people who love CAN be apart for a period of time and, despite the pain, the life and their love goes on. If the love is strong. If you are lucky. And if nobody dies.
Something we all gotta decide in our own minds. Hope your life works out okay ... |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:24 am Post subject: |
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| lastat06513 wrote: |
| more of a choice that was to give their family a better standard of living then if they were working in the private sector, though the private sector had fewer risks... |
This is the saddest thing I have heard someone say about America, yet I think it is true : young men - boys, really - are risking their lives, dying and coming home without limbs just because ... they can give their families a little better life that way? I think you might be right, and excuse me while I go off in the corner and cry for a few minutes.
The soldier thing, it was just an example. It's not comparable to teaching English. I know which one is more honorable or important.
| Quote: |
| ESL/EFL/TESL is a professional choice, it can bring alot of rewards, but there are some sacrifices that come with it. A person has to weigh the options. |
Truth is, If I had to choose between love or money, most of the time I'd take Door Number One.
Just saying, if the love is there, distance don't always matter. |
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SHANE02
Joined: 04 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 4:24 am Post subject: |
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I think LDR only happen when one person is bored and wants to escape.
I know, I did it.
Why would you want to be a "long distance" away from someone you were truly in love with? |
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