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Doutdes
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
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 Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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| BJWD wrote: |
Dating a non-Western woman felt as if the gates of heaven opened up before my eyes... Assertive but not bossy. Feminine but not girly. Intellectually interested beyond "me me me me me me me me". My peers who have married Singaporeans and Chinese report similar. Though I don't know much about Koreans.
Anyhow, not to make this a thread to bash White ladies.
The idea stands. In America, marriage can be a raw deal for men. And the women (and dd, who counts as half-half) who responded bitterly are just bitter. All. The. Time. |
The fact is that real men like strong women. I don�t think I�d have long-term relation with a woman who wasn�t a feminist. They challenge us, and make us smarter and more aware. They don�t need to stroke our egos. They don�t act like our maids. They don�t act like our personal porn stars, which isn�t to say the sex ain�t good. They�re our equals. And real men like surrounding themselves with equals. Surrounding themselves with those they think are inferior is boring and masturrbatory.
That�s what man-boys do. They never really grow up and they look for compliant and submissive women to reinforce their self-importance. They shun western women because western woman have lives and interests of their own and aren�t interested in babying their boyfriend. They delude themselves into thinking that Asian or Eastern European woman are the answer, and never really learn the simple feminist premise: women are people. You can find strong Asian feminists and compliant American women. And that people, and that includes women, change. Even the Asian wife will age and gain weight. She too may be adversely affected by childbirth. She too may get tired of his childish personality and decide to pack her things. And remember, if she does, it�s because of those darn feminists. It can never be him. It�s never his fault.
And, yes BJWD I�ll send you periodic updates on my thighs and television viewing habits. And you can send me updates on your marriage. You can tell me if your future Asian wife is really so Asian as you expected and fulfills every one of your oriental fantasies. |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| BJWD wrote: |
I don't laugh at them. I pity them. |
Erm BJWD, as a former ESL teacher I feel I ought to direct you to the dictionary, where you will clearly see that pity is not a synonym of despise.
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| Dating a non-Western woman felt as if the gates of heaven opened up before my eyes... Assertive but not bossy. Feminine but not girly. Intellectually interested beyond "me me me me me me me me". My peers who have married Singaporeans and Chinese report similar. Though I don't know much about Koreans. |
Um... is this supposed to in some way make me jealous...? I really don't have much interest in your sexual preferences my little 'man-feminist' - you could depart from human females altogether for all I care. My kiwi aqcaintances tell me that shagging old ewes is a rather nice past-time, and they don't nag all that much. I wouldn't feel slighted in the least. Probably a good intellectual match for you too. 
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| Anyhow, not to make this a thread to bash White ladies. |
Oh, were we bashing something else...?
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| And the women (and dd, who counts as half-half) who responded bitterly are just bitter. All. The. Time. |
Ah. The man-feminist who uses the slur of womanlyness to insult our friend dd. Nice one, man-feminist. 
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| Also, a tax on nags. |
Yes, that would be a great idea. Although (like Alyallen) I know an ex-boyfriend who would thereby face financial ruin... Or is it only women who nag, my little man-feminist?
Khyber and Doutdes - I'm lining you up for marriages 2 and 3! |
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nateium
Joined: 21 Aug 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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I feel sorry for the women, not for stupid guys who get married to soon. The moral of this post should not be for men to never get married, but to not get married young.
Many women seem to have a driving awareness that the biological clock is ticking when it comes to marriage and child birth. As a women age, not only do they become significantly less attractive, but statistically the chances of birth complications and defects increase. There also seems to be intense social pressure for women to marry around 30 or before.
Guys have the option of being "man-boys" and enjoying the benefits of young life a lot longer before "settling down." Unlike women, Men can have their cake (decades of great premarital sex) and eat it too (family life). Older men in their 30's or 40's can often attract women 10+ years younger if they have a good job. By the time younger spouse is fat, boring, bbitchy, and indifferent to sex; an older man may feel the same way! |
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thepeel
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Big_Bird wrote: |
| BJWD wrote: |
I don't laugh at them. I pity them. |
Erm BJWD, as a former ESL teacher I feel I ought to direct you to the dictionary, where you will clearly see that pity is not a synonym of despise.
| Quote: |
| Dating a non-Western woman felt as if the gates of heaven opened up before my eyes... Assertive but not bossy. Feminine but not girly. Intellectually interested beyond "me me me me me me me me". My peers who have married Singaporeans and Chinese report similar. Though I don't know much about Koreans. |
Um... is this supposed to in some way make me jealous...? I really don't have much interest in your sexual preferences my little 'man-feminist' - you could depart from human females altogether for all I care. My kiwi aqcaintances tell me that shagging old ewes is a rather nice past-time, and they don't nag all that much. I wouldn't feel slighted in the least. Probably a good intellectual match for you too.
| Quote: |
| Anyhow, not to make this a thread to bash White ladies. |
Oh, were we bashing something else...?
| Quote: |
| And the women (and dd, who counts as half-half) who responded bitterly are just bitter. All. The. Time. |
Ah. The man-feminist who uses the slur of womanlyness to insult our friend dd. Nice one, man-feminist.
| Quote: |
| Also, a tax on nags. |
Yes, that would be a great idea. Although (like Alyallen) I know an ex-boyfriend who would thereby face financial ruin... Or is it only women who nag, my little man-feminist?
Khyber and Doutdes - I'm lining you up for marriages 2 and 3! |
Very few things are more pathetic than someone who can give it, but not take it. Pathetic, bitter ol' lady. |
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thepeel
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Doutdes wrote: |
The fact is that real men like strong women. I don�t think I�d have long-term relation with a woman who wasn�t a feminist. They challenge us, and make us smarter and more aware. They don�t need to stroke our egos. They don�t act like our maids. They don�t act like our personal porn stars, which isn�t to say the sex ain�t good. They�re our equals. And real men like surrounding themselves with equals. Surrounding themselves with those they think are inferior is boring and masturrbatory.
And, yes BJWD I�ll send you periodic updates on my thighs and television viewing habits. And you can send me updates on your marriage. You can tell me if your future Asian wife is really so Asian as you expected and fulfills every one of your oriental fantasies. |
My lady is Hispanic, not Asian. But reading your post, I get the feeling that you are of the opinion that men only look outside of their own kind to find a submissive woman. This fits quite solidly in line with why western, white females are so very difficult to be around sometimes. The arrogance is simply astounding!
Western women aren't "strong". They break down in a puddle of tears and self-pity with the slightest problem. That is why Dr. Phil is so popular!
And we have a deal. |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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| BJWD wrote: |
| Very few things are more pathetic than someone who can give it, but not take it. Pathetic, bitter ol' lady. |
Oh, sweety. Don't be so sour. I can take much more than you can give. |
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freethought
Joined: 13 Mar 2005
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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I had a much different reaction to this than what other people seemed to have experienced.
Part of my reaction was that, yes, this is a valid point to be raising. Divorce structure at present is weighted against men. An active effort needs to be made to change that.
Men also deal with a lot of crap. We may not always give a lot in a relationship, but we don't demand much from our partners either, other than a cold beer and some peace and quiet to watch the game, that is
But men are pretty scummy people, and for the most part there's a reason why women get custody. We're the ones who cheat. We're the ones who tend to be abusive. We're the ones who often 'leave'. Men are pretty slimy characters. I'm gonna stop short of saying we're inattentive etc, because frankly many women just need a completely unreasonable amount of attention, and to meet that burden places an entirely unfair onus on those of us with the Y chromosome.
I think the system needs to change to account for fair, responsible, loving fathers; and as soon as scientists find one, I'm sure the system will change...
Seriously, the system should be changed, but to say men on the whole get treated unfairly is rubbish. Maybe it's 'society's fault', maybe it's genetics, but on the whole men are lying in the bed they've made when it comes to divorce.
As to the white vs non-white women thing.... I have embraced globalisation with open arms. I think it's a wonderful thing. I'm in to women of all shapes and sizes, AND colours. Asians, africans, indians, SE asians, White women, very white women, and so white they're transparent women; I've been with them all. My conclusion, white women have the nagging gene, just as all men have the ass--hole gene. It doesn't mean that women of different ethnicities don't make their points, because they do, it just more often than not involves the denying of sex for prolongued periods of time until us men agree--- but nagging is kept to a minimum.
Korean women, pout, and whine--- frankly I think I'll take nagging over pouting and whining. One of my old GFs who was black would look at me, say something like 'do you really want to go there?' and then I'd do whatever she wanted because I was pretty sure she could/would take me in a fight. Getting my asswhooped is better than whinning or nagging, and it's kind of sexy  |
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Doutdes
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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| BJWD wrote: |
| My lady is Hispanic, not Asian. But reading your post, I get the feeling that you are of the opinion that men only look outside of their own kind to find a submissive woman. This fits quite solidly in line with why western, white females are so very difficult to be around sometimes. The arrogance is simply astounding! |
No, I said man-boys do that. Like your friends who suggest Chinese or Singapore women to date like they would a Honda or Volkswagon to drive. However, it's pretty obvious you read what you want see in see in my posts. Like your original posting said:
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| We males have an infinite capacity for deluding ourselves |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Doutdes wrote: |
[ However, it's pretty obvious you read what you want see in see in my posts. Like your original posting said:
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| We males have an infinite capacity for deluding ourselves |
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Hehe. I don't think he's quite cottoned on, has he?
One very astute poster on these forums once told me he didn't bother arguing much with BJWD, as BJWD just wasn't bright enough to realise when he had been bested... And thus besting him was just no fun.. 
freethought: I've got you down on my list as husband number 4. |
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thepeel
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Big_Bird wrote: |
| Doutdes wrote: |
[ However, it's pretty obvious you read what you want see in see in my posts. Like your original posting said:
| Quote: |
| We males have an infinite capacity for deluding ourselves |
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Hehe. I don't think he's quite cottoned on, has he?
One very astute poster on these forums once told me he didn't bother arguing much with BJWD, as BJWD just wasn't bright enough to realise when he had been bested... And thus besting him was just no fun..
freethought: I've got you down on my list as husband number 4. |
Bested how? Cause that poster is either gay or male? |
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Doutdes
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| freethought wrote: |
| Part of my reaction was that, yes, this is a valid point to be raising. Divorce structure at present is weighted against men. An active effort needs to be made to change that. |
When we talk about divorce, we should be honest. It's divorce structures. Different countries and within the US, states, have different ways of handling divorce. However, all of them are fairly arbitrary and that often feels unfair. Men may think they're getting screwed because they're men, but women get screwed by the same rules. I'll give you two examples.
A man pays $560 a month in child support for two kids. His ex-wife doesn't want him seeing the kids and every weekend he has visitation, she sends them to their grandparents, to weekend activities or to a friend's house. He's angry and decides to stop paying child support. His failure to pay eventually gets him fined $1,000 and he has to pay her legal fees for suing for back child support. After child support payments have resumed he still hasn't been able to see his kids.
A woman has two kids and is supposed to receive child support. Her ex-husband refuses to pay, but she doesn�t have the money to pursue a lawsuit. So she refuses to let him see the kids until he pays child support. He goes to court and the court threatens her with a fine or jail time if she doesn't let him see them. She acquiesces and he sees his children, even though he owes her a lot of child support.
The man will tell you that the courts are biased against him. The woman will say the courts are biased towards the man. Neither one is right. They�re just both getting screwed by the system that states child visitation isn�t tied to child support. The gender imbalance is all in the heads of the victim and has nothing to do with the reality of the law. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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I'm still looking for that memo that states that western = white...
Where does that leave the other women who live in the west who are not white?
Eastern? Southwestern? Northern?? Huh?  |
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Gopher
Joined: 04 Jun 2005
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Alyallen wrote: |
| I'm still looking for that memo that states that western = white... |
I like your style, Alyallen. Just heard a presentation by a group of North-African immigrants in France who ask the same question.
On the thread: people against marriage can simply opt not to marry. There is no rule that says we must marry in life. And it is not as though they have no point. After all, marriage is the leading cause of divorce. And the aftermath one can face in some situations, particularly a man, upon divorcing and with respect to his children, are quite ugly and indeed inhumane -- just ask Alec Baldwin. |
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Doutdes
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 10:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Alyallen wrote: |
I'm still looking for that memo that states that western = white...
Where does that leave the other women who live in the west who are not white?
Eastern? Southwestern? Northern?? Huh? |
Well, that all depends if they nag. If you don't nag you're a Transatlanic or Transpacific Isalander. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Doutdes wrote: |
| Alyallen wrote: |
I'm still looking for that memo that states that western = white...
Where does that leave the other women who live in the west who are not white?
Eastern? Southwestern? Northern?? Huh? |
Well, that all depends if they nag. If you don't nag you're a Transatlanic or Transpacific Isalander. |
Ahhh....that clears that up...
This whole discussion is quite ridiculous isn't it?
Perfectly reasonable people writing completely bizarre and irrational things.
I seriously doubt that all white women nag.
It would be like saying all white men play golf because I've seen some on the PGA tour  |
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