Korean Job Discussion Forums

[canuckistan]

Thank you Ulsanchris, I was almost about to sit down and spell it out that way to Mr Gord but in the end I did not have the patience to muck with the editor. I really should though.

When push comes to shove The Horrible HAGwon owner is basically asking our boy to make a choice between his wife-to-be and his hagwon job.

Gord, I really like your diagrams, maybe a career in Monday Night Football?

[ulsanchris]

just took a closer look at the time line. I kind of like the alternate time line. Having alien overlords might suck but hey the canucks win the stanely cup. Can't be all that bad

[thegadfly]

Yes it IS a choice of girlfriend or job, and the boss made it clear because there IS no clause in that particular person's contract, HOWEVER, OTHER PEOPLE have mentioned clauses in their housing contracts that WOULD allow such interference by the boss...and so, a greater service to the community would be to say that LEGALLY, if you sign a contract that says such and such, then your boss CAN demand you behave this way...to AVOID being in that situation, make certain your contract does not have those clauses, and if it does, either refuse the housing and go for a housing allowance, or have the clauses rewritten.

You folks going off about Gord, and Gord in response, seem hung up on a trivial point. Canuckistan said the boss had no right, Gord said he did...fact of the matter is that it depends on the contract, so there are cases when EACH of the two honored posters is correct, but neither of them is COMPLETELY correct. The original poster came on and said he had checked his contract -- no such clauses -- and that his boss ADMITTED this was not a LEGAL matter, just her own prudishness/busybodiedness. Since it is not a matter of legality, Gord's solution would not work -- the boss is going to be a prude no matter where the fellow lives, and she is going to lose sleep thinking about the "perversions" this foreigner is performing with a saintly Korean woman.

Thus, Gord's solution does not help the original poster, but may help others. However, Canuckistan's suggestion of "putting one's foot down" will ALSO not help in this case, as it isn't just someone acting as a bit of a gossip -- putting your foot down only works in cases where the other person will acquiesce out of embarassment for having been caught snooping, or because they know that they can not legally demand what they have been demanding. This woman KNOWS she shouldn't be saying this stuff, she ADMITS it is not a legal right of hers, and yet she STILL insists.

So, Gord and Canuckistan, you are both right, and you are both wrong, and neither one of you is helping this fellow. Quit picking apart each other's grammar and phrasing and see if you can suggest anything else that might help this fellow. He is left with "girlfriend or job -- pick one" and hasn't gotten anything useful past that....

[Skarp]

I'm not surprised bosses want to interfere with their teachers private lives. It's obviously unreasonable from our perspective, but they probably see it differently. Anyway.

I imagine the original poster may have to leave his job and appartment to escape this meddling and start afresh elsewhere.

Which brings me to a request for general advice on this topic.

How to stop your boss finding out about your private life? That seems to me to be the best solution.

I expect to be in this kind of situation myself, and am thinking along the lines of working for a larger school where the management has less time for these issues and trying to get a larger salary without accommodation - or if that's impossible using hotels.

Some Koreans really seem to think premarital sex is wrong - much like most people did in Britain even 30 years ago.

They'll 'catch up'. My impression is that the generation that is now 20 something are experiencing marriage, sex and love in a different order than was considered normal, and the fabric of society has not disintegrated as a result.


Skarp

[Trinny]

[itchy]

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[TheUrbanMyth]

Out of three pages (and I never imagined I would be saying this) the only one that I agree with is Itchy.

Make it very clear to your boss. Either he keeps out of your life or you leave. There should be no need for this nitpicking over who said what. That does not help the original poster. As for the OP continue to have your girlfriend over, but start to look for a new job.