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Clutch Cargo
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Location: Sim City 2005
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 Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2003 12:17 am Post subject: |
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[5] In order to maintain the good will the institute already enjoys in the community the institute will hold bi-monthly �fun days�. These special days will always fall on a Friday. During that day the Employee will entertain prospective students during the regular workday. This entertainment can include taking part in a pie toss, the application of performance make up and the wearing of costumes, participation in the �dunk tank� event, and other activities as required by the director. A special meal will be provided at the conclusion of the event, free of charge.
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Book me in for that 
BTW Weened,
What on God's green earth is this? |
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ratslash
Joined: 08 May 2003
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| Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2003 3:47 am Post subject: |
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[quote
BTW Weened,
What on God's green earth is this?[/quote]
i was gonna ask exactly the same thing! |
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mack the knife
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: standing right behind you...
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| Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2003 5:34 am Post subject: |
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| Weened. What is this picture? |
It's a picture of me, after seeing my wife's new hair style. |
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Son Deureo!
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2003 7:26 am Post subject: |
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| I think it's from Big Trouble in Little China. |
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matthewwoodford
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Location: Location, location, location.
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| Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2003 9:30 am Post subject: |
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Unbelievable!
On a cursory reading, I did not detect a single English error! Unbelievable! Impossible!
Matt |
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canuckistan
Mod Team
Joined: 17 Jun 2003
Location: Training future GS competitors.....
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| Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2003 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Don't leave this "contract" up for too long, Wonderland et al may get ideas!!!!!! |
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Son Deureo!
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2003 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Too bad this is a fake, I was thinking about signing up there. The free fire drills in my apartment sounded like fun. |
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The Great Wall of Whiner
Joined: 24 Jan 2003
Location: Middle Land
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| Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2003 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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Lush72 wrote:
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Article 1a. (Conditions of Employment)
[1] The Employee attests that they cannot speak or read the Korean language and that this will not change significantly during the duration of the contract. |
What would be the point of this? So the teacher can have people talk about them right in front of their faces? Cannot even read Korean??
In other words, you are not free to pursue your own academic studies on your own free time.
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| [2] The Employee attests that they are of Caucasian (white) descent and that they have no blood Asian relatives. |
Wow. The "R" word crops up here...
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| [3] The Employee attests that this is the first trip outside their county of origin for the purpose of work. |
They want un-baised virgins? So they do not know better?
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| [4] The Employee attests that they are between the ages of 18 and 28. |
Must be young virgin blood too!
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Article 2. (Salary)
[1] The Employee shall be paid 2,000,000 Korean Won per month.
[2] The Employer will deduct any and all Employer deemed necessary deductions, to include but not limited to Korean Income Tax and Pension, as needed on a month-by-month basis. |
All deductions deemed necessary? Pretty broad stroke of paint their if you ask me.
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| [3] The Employee's salary will be paid at some time on the 10th day of each month. Where that day is a Saturday, Sunday or School Holiday, the Employer will pay the Employee on the next business day. |
Whereas most businesses kindly do it the day before.
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| [4] A fee of 700,000 won will be deducted from the first pay check as security against damage to housing, unpaid bills, and sudden breach of contract by the Employee. |
HAHAHA!! I need toilet paper! Can I borrow your copy of the contract sir?
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| After said employment concludes the Employee must submit in writing a request for the balance (if any) of this deposit to be sent to the Employee somewhere out of Korea. In no circumstance will this be paid to the Employee while the Employee is still in Korea. |
So we can keep the money and rip you off...
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| [5] If the Employee has been absent from his designated work place without prior approval, the employee will forfeit 50,000 won per hour of absence. A 1-hour fee will be automatically deducted after the employee is late one hundred and sixty (160) seconds for any class. |
And we will have our stop watch on just to make sure.
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Article 3. (Working Hours)
[1] The Employee shall teach 120 hours per month. In Korea, as well as in the rest of the world, 1 hour equals sixty minutes. |
"As in the rest of the world?" A little pompous...I can think of a million examples where Korea ignores "the rest of the world".
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| [3] The Employee shall work any and all hours that the Employer specifies. This will change on a month-to-month basis. |
Boss: "You must work from 11 pm to 3 am. Contract says."
Teacher: "You must kiss my a**. Common sense says."
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| [4] The Employer will pay overtime for all working hours in excess of 120 hours. The rate for overtime is calculated at 12000 Won per hour. |
"As in the rest of the world", overtime is time and a half, sometimes double.
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| [5] That the Employer will require the Employee to work a different schedule during the government school vacation periods and other �special� times. |
What "special" times? Could you be a bit more vague please?
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| [6] The Employer may change the working hours at will. |
HAHAHAHA!
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| [7] There shall be a 10-minute break between each class regardless of how long said class lasts. In no event will a class be �split� so a break may be taken. Employees are expected to behave in a professional manner and not leave the students unattended for any reason. |
No break? HAHAHAH! Try NO teachers working in your hagwon...
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[8] In the event that the Employee teaches for less then 120 hours (7,200 actual minutes spent teaching) the Employer will assign various chores to the Employee to complete so as to be paid in full. |
HAHAHAH! Give me a mop so I can clean the washroom please. HAHAHA
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| [2] The Employee will be issued 2 (two) whiteboard markers every 3 (three) months provided a properly filled out requisition slip is submitted. |
I go through 2 whiteboard markers every week!
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[3] The Employee shall be given a code to use the copy machine. The Employer assumes no responsibility for lost, forgotten, stolen, or misused codes. The code will credit the employee with 5 �free� copies per day. Any copies over the initial 5 will be charged to the employee at the rate of 500 won per copy. |
Okay, I smell fish here.
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[4] The Employee shall be expected to keep the classroom presentable. This includes the floor, table, chairs, walls, door and windows. The employee shall empty the classroom trash at the end of each day. A broom, bucket and mop will be issued to the employee at the beginning of employment. These must be returned as serviceable or a replacement fee of 30,000 won will be deducted. |
Big fish.
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| [6] The Employer will offer a meal plan to the Employee. The meal plan will cost 9,500 won per meal at the Institute. This will give the Employee an opportunity to eat healthy and delicious Korean meals at a deeply discounted price. |
BS.
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Article 5. (Housing)
[1] The Employer should provide the Employee with housing. Housing may include a leased room in someone�s house, officetel, apartment, or in a Korean type �Study Room� or Yogwon. |
This is not a real contract. Impossible.
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| [7] In order to conform to Koreas strict fire codes the Employer shall have the right to conduct safety inspections and fire drills at the Employees home at any time. |
I know it's 2 AM, but let me in your house....
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| [2]The Employer will reimburse half (50%) to the Employee on the first pay day. |
HAHAHAA
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| [3] The Employee must advise the Employer in advance of the sick leave and expected duration thereof. |
Hey boss! I plan to get the flu the second week of March. 
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| [9] Female employees will take all reasonable steps to ensure that their personal and menstrual odor does not become disruptive. |
Um...that's just gross.
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| [12a] Additionally a 12 am curfew will be imposed Monday to Thursday to ensure that the Employees are receiving the proper amount of sleep. |
BS contract.
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| [14] Single employees shall refrain from engaging in romantic relationships with Korean citizens while employed at the institute. Interracial dating is still a social taboo in Korea and reflects poorly on the Employee and the institute. |
Once again, a BS contract.
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| [1] As no contract renewal issue has ever been addressed ..... |
IF (BIG IF) this was a real contract, no bloody wonder.
Anyway, nice work of fiction. Had me going until the airfare and housing parts. |
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Son Deureo!
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
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| Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2003 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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| The OP already admitted that this is a fake. |
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Gord
Joined: 25 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2003 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Son Deureo! wrote: |
| The OP already admitted that this is a fake. |
We could use this again in the future as a test to see who were the slow kids in school. |
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kangnamdragon
Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Kangnam, Seoul, Korea
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| Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2003 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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Gord,
I appreciate your wit and intelligence.  |
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Starperson
Joined: 23 Mar 2003
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| Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2003 4:08 am Post subject: |
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| "Um, excuse me Employee, I believe your menstrual odor is disrupting the students". |
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Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 12:39 am Post subject: |
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| Son Deureo! wrote: |
| The OP already admitted that this is a fake. |
He then later admitted it was actually real. He later said he was embarrassed to admit he signed this contract and has been there for the last 4 years!!!
It shocked me as well. |
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PolyChronic Time Girl
Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Location: Korea Exited
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| Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| My favorite ones were having to clean the Korean staff's car and the personal hygiene one was the best!! You know, all those dang, stinkin' foreigners! Laughable was the one about females keeping their menstrual odor under control, as if all that loose estrogen would bring the building down to a rumble of bricks! |
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