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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai
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 Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:35 am Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| byrddogs wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Good point on the bowing. It will depend from family to family. To be honest, after so many years we do not bow when we meet. We did for the first couple of years.
I get what you are saying about parents but I think there is a vast gap between overbearing parents you describe and simply making an effort to adapt to customs that may smooth over the relationship with your spouse's parents.
Showing respect for your wife's father is not being a sniveling whatever...it is trying to ensure the relationship is smooth. You do not want to put your wife in a tough spot if you can avoid it.
We did not bring presents to my in-laws when we visited them while living in Korea because we saw them many times a week. We do bring presents now that we live in Canada and only see them once (or twice) a year. I think that this is normal. Then again, I have a great relationship with my wife's family and was accepted from the get go so that has an impact.
As for adapting I can offer up an example of what I mean.
First year we were married, I started attending certain more family events. One day as chuseok was nearing my gf said her parents had invited me to the festivities. This was my second chuseok in Korea and the first year I had only briefly visited them.
I thought why not.
She said her father had also asked that I participate him in the ancestor ceremony (morning and afternoon). At the time I had no idea what this was and was not sure about going. My wife said it was a big deal that her dad would ask...so I went.
It ended up being a pretty interesting experience and established a bond with her family that I did not expect. The ceremony itself was pretty moving, especially the afternoon when we went to the family plot where the graves are.
Again, her dad was pretty open but that gesture (going to the event) is something I never regretted.
Now that we live abroad, we are not in Korea for chuseok or lunar new year. We do out best to help and participate by sending stuff through G-market. Her mother never fails to call us of skype us and thank us. We also skype on these holidays so we can say hello to everyone that gathered at the apt.
Anyway, thats just my experience but my wife often told me how much she appreciates this. In turn, she does the same here in Canada and attends Christmas, New Year, Easter....her first Christmas was actually EPIC.  |
Thanks so much for the information. I and others are surely grateful to get the invaluable insight from such a knowledgeble and noble former 11 year Korean resident. I see that you mentioned that you are living in Canada now. That must be swell. It adds a lot to the topic as well. Thanks again for sharing. What you do is a great service to everyone. Please continue to enlighten. |
Seriously move on.
The thread is about dealing with a Korean dad. I dealt with it and still do as I am married to a Korean woman.
What is wrong with you?
If you have nothing to say on the topic...shut the heck up and post in a thread where you do have something to say. Sorry but you and your little possee need help.
Are you going to do like one of your little group of like-minded posters did in another thread and insult my wife? Better yet, send me a pm about my children like others like you have done on here in the past....I am sure you can figure out how to.
On another note and serving you the same dish you serve me: what the heck are you doing posting here since you live in Shanghai and are married to a Chinese woman? Whats your stake with whats said here?
Oh wait, I know, its insulting others and trying to get a reaction out of them online. |
What are you talking about? I was serious. This board needs more posts from you. |
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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:39 am Post subject: |
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| Ginormousaurus wrote: |
| byrddogs wrote: |
| Thanks so much for the information. I and others are surely grateful to get the invaluable insight from such a knowledgeble and noble former 11 year Korean resident. I see that you mentioned that you are living in Canada now. That must be swell. It adds a lot to the topic as well. Thanks again for sharing. What you do is a great service to everyone. Please continue to enlighten. |
Patrick is married to a Korean and has a Korean father-in-law whom he gets along with. I'd say he has some incite into the topic.
What do you bring to the conversation?
Anyway, Patrick doesn't need me to defend him. I just find it hypocritical how you so often bring up the fact that he doesn't live in Korea. YOU LIVE IN CHINA.
Edit: I see Patrick responded while I was writing my post. I'll leave it as it is though. |
The same goes for you. Why so upset about a post that put someone in a good light? |
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Ginormousaurus
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
Location: 700 Ft. Pulpit
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:43 am Post subject: |
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You weren't being genuine. You have a history of going after Patrick.
Anyway, I'm not upset. |
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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| Ginormousaurus wrote: |
You weren't being genuine. You have a history of going after Patrick.
Anyway, I'm not upset. |
I do? I have disagreed with him before. So what; who hasn't disagreed with someone on this forum? Does that therefore make my post ingenuine? I said what I said and the two of you took it in some other direction. I'd like to hope that a level headed person wouldn't be upset about a post such as that. |
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Ginormousaurus
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
Location: 700 Ft. Pulpit
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:55 am Post subject: |
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| Have a nice day, byrddogs. |
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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 12:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Ginormousaurus wrote: |
| Have a nice day, byrddogs. |
Will do, and the same sentiments your way, Ginormosaurus. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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| byrddogs wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| byrddogs wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Good point on the bowing. It will depend from family to family. To be honest, after so many years we do not bow when we meet. We did for the first couple of years.
I get what you are saying about parents but I think there is a vast gap between overbearing parents you describe and simply making an effort to adapt to customs that may smooth over the relationship with your spouse's parents.
Showing respect for your wife's father is not being a sniveling whatever...it is trying to ensure the relationship is smooth. You do not want to put your wife in a tough spot if you can avoid it.
We did not bring presents to my in-laws when we visited them while living in Korea because we saw them many times a week. We do bring presents now that we live in Canada and only see them once (or twice) a year. I think that this is normal. Then again, I have a great relationship with my wife's family and was accepted from the get go so that has an impact.
As for adapting I can offer up an example of what I mean.
First year we were married, I started attending certain more family events. One day as chuseok was nearing my gf said her parents had invited me to the festivities. This was my second chuseok in Korea and the first year I had only briefly visited them.
I thought why not.
She said her father had also asked that I participate him in the ancestor ceremony (morning and afternoon). At the time I had no idea what this was and was not sure about going. My wife said it was a big deal that her dad would ask...so I went.
It ended up being a pretty interesting experience and established a bond with her family that I did not expect. The ceremony itself was pretty moving, especially the afternoon when we went to the family plot where the graves are.
Again, her dad was pretty open but that gesture (going to the event) is something I never regretted.
Now that we live abroad, we are not in Korea for chuseok or lunar new year. We do out best to help and participate by sending stuff through G-market. Her mother never fails to call us of skype us and thank us. We also skype on these holidays so we can say hello to everyone that gathered at the apt.
Anyway, thats just my experience but my wife often told me how much she appreciates this. In turn, she does the same here in Canada and attends Christmas, New Year, Easter....her first Christmas was actually EPIC. |
Thanks so much for the information. I and others are surely grateful to get the invaluable insight from such a knowledgeble and noble former 11 year Korean resident. I see that you mentioned that you are living in Canada now. That must be swell. It adds a lot to the topic as well. Thanks again for sharing. What you do is a great service to everyone. Please continue to enlighten. |
Seriously move on.
The thread is about dealing with a Korean dad. I dealt with it and still do as I am married to a Korean woman.
What is wrong with you?
If you have nothing to say on the topic...shut the heck up and post in a thread where you do have something to say. Sorry but you and your little possee need help.
Are you going to do like one of your little group of like-minded posters did in another thread and insult my wife? Better yet, send me a pm about my children like others like you have done on here in the past....I am sure you can figure out how to.
On another note and serving you the same dish you serve me: what the heck are you doing posting here since you live in Shanghai and are married to a Chinese woman? Whats your stake with whats said here?
Oh wait, I know, its insulting others and trying to get a reaction out of them online. |
What are you talking about? I was serious. This board needs more posts from you. |
I am sorry but I have a hard time believing you were serious. Previous posts contradict this.
On the off chance you were serious, sorry.
Perhaps your post just arrived at the wrong time after others said far worse. |
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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| byrddogs wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| byrddogs wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
Good point on the bowing. It will depend from family to family. To be honest, after so many years we do not bow when we meet. We did for the first couple of years.
I get what you are saying about parents but I think there is a vast gap between overbearing parents you describe and simply making an effort to adapt to customs that may smooth over the relationship with your spouse's parents.
Showing respect for your wife's father is not being a sniveling whatever...it is trying to ensure the relationship is smooth. You do not want to put your wife in a tough spot if you can avoid it.
We did not bring presents to my in-laws when we visited them while living in Korea because we saw them many times a week. We do bring presents now that we live in Canada and only see them once (or twice) a year. I think that this is normal. Then again, I have a great relationship with my wife's family and was accepted from the get go so that has an impact.
As for adapting I can offer up an example of what I mean.
First year we were married, I started attending certain more family events. One day as chuseok was nearing my gf said her parents had invited me to the festivities. This was my second chuseok in Korea and the first year I had only briefly visited them.
I thought why not.
She said her father had also asked that I participate him in the ancestor ceremony (morning and afternoon). At the time I had no idea what this was and was not sure about going. My wife said it was a big deal that her dad would ask...so I went.
It ended up being a pretty interesting experience and established a bond with her family that I did not expect. The ceremony itself was pretty moving, especially the afternoon when we went to the family plot where the graves are.
Again, her dad was pretty open but that gesture (going to the event) is something I never regretted.
Now that we live abroad, we are not in Korea for chuseok or lunar new year. We do out best to help and participate by sending stuff through G-market. Her mother never fails to call us of skype us and thank us. We also skype on these holidays so we can say hello to everyone that gathered at the apt.
Anyway, thats just my experience but my wife often told me how much she appreciates this. In turn, she does the same here in Canada and attends Christmas, New Year, Easter....her first Christmas was actually EPIC. |
Thanks so much for the information. I and others are surely grateful to get the invaluable insight from such a knowledgeble and noble former 11 year Korean resident. I see that you mentioned that you are living in Canada now. That must be swell. It adds a lot to the topic as well. Thanks again for sharing. What you do is a great service to everyone. Please continue to enlighten. |
Seriously move on.
The thread is about dealing with a Korean dad. I dealt with it and still do as I am married to a Korean woman.
What is wrong with you?
If you have nothing to say on the topic...shut the heck up and post in a thread where you do have something to say. Sorry but you and your little possee need help.
Are you going to do like one of your little group of like-minded posters did in another thread and insult my wife? Better yet, send me a pm about my children like others like you have done on here in the past....I am sure you can figure out how to.
On another note and serving you the same dish you serve me: what the heck are you doing posting here since you live in Shanghai and are married to a Chinese woman? Whats your stake with whats said here?
Oh wait, I know, its insulting others and trying to get a reaction out of them online. |
What are you talking about? I was serious. This board needs more posts from you. |
I am sorry but I have a hard time believing you were serious. Previous posts contradict this.
On the off chance you were serious, sorry.
Perhaps your post just arrived at the wrong time after others said far worse. |
Just as I said to Gino, I meant it. It's too bad that you guys took it the wrong way. I'm not the evil poster all of the time that you guys think I am. If I was, I'd take offense to what came after, which I didn't. I wish you a good day as well. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Fair enough then. |
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chopstick
Joined: 03 Oct 2012
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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1: Hack up a greeny loudly.
2: Spit it out loudly.
3: Make sure you can hear the 'splat' on the pavement.
Done... |
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chopstick
Joined: 03 Oct 2012
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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| itiswhatitis wrote: |
| Give him a hi 5 after he slaps his wife in the face |
ha ha ha ha! |
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radcon
Joined: 23 May 2011
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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| No chance that Byrddogs was being sincere in his post to Patrick. "So you mentioned that you live in Canada now." Hahaha. |
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Seoulman69
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Showing respect for your wife's father is not being a sniveling whatever...it is trying to ensure the relationship is smooth. You do not want to put your wife in a tough spot if you can avoid it.
We did not bring presents to my in-laws when we visited them while living in Korea because we saw them many times a week. We do bring presents now that we live in Canada and only see them once (or twice) a year. I think that this is normal. Then again, I have a great relationship with my wife's family and was accepted from the get go so that has an impact.
As for adapting I can offer up an example of what I mean.
First year we were married, I started attending certain more family events. One day as chuseok was nearing my gf said her parents had invited me to the festivities. This was my second chuseok in Korea and the first year I had only briefly visited them.
I thought why not.
She said her father had also asked that I participate him in the ancestor ceremony (morning and afternoon). At the time I had no idea what this was and was not sure about going. My wife said it was a big deal that her dad would ask...so I went.
It ended up being a pretty interesting experience and established a bond with her family that I did not expect. The ceremony itself was pretty moving, especially the afternoon when we went to the family plot where the graves are.
Again, her dad was pretty open but that gesture (going to the event) is something I never regretted.
Now that we live abroad, we are not in Korea for chuseok or lunar new year. We do out best to help and participate by sending stuff through G-market. Her mother never fails to call us of skype us and thank us. We also skype on these holidays so we can say hello to everyone that gathered at the apt.
Anyway, thats just my experience but my wife often told me how much she appreciates this. In turn, she does the same here in Canada and attends Christmas, New Year, Easter....her first Christmas was actually EPIC. Laughing |
I don't consider what you did to be sniveling or sycophantic. Plus, being asked to participate in the ancestor ceremony is a very nice way of your wife's father embracing you as part of the family.
But the OP is in a different situation. His girlfriend's father doesn't approve of the relationship. Therefore I feel that the OP should remain respectful, but not bend over backwards for the approval of this man.
| Quote: |
| A lot of truth in this: be who you are. |
I think we're both coming from the same place, but we're just stating it in a different way. I sometimes think you're too sensitive about things and see racism where it isn't there, particularly on this board.
I'm pretty sure Ed wouldn't refer to a hanbok as a "monkey suit" and I'm in no way encouraging the OP to be rude or dismissive of the father. But, if I'd been receiving PMs insulting my kids and wife i reckon I'd be as sensitive, or even more so, than you. |
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IPayInCash
Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Location: Away from all my board stalkers :)
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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People need to get off of Patrick's back.
He seems like a genuinely cool guy and his advice in this thread was spot on. |
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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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| IPayInCash wrote: |
People need to get off of Patrick's back.
He seems like a genuinely cool guy and his advice in this thread was spot on. |
Yeah, I agree. I was talking to my smoking hot wife about this during my leisure time (I've got plenty of that as I work a job that most could only dream of) and she felt the same way. |
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