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Is dating harder for expat women?
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fermentation



Joined: 22 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Western girls in general don't like Koreans? Shit. That's bad news for me since I love white chicks.
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Janny



Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Location: all over the place

PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know you do ma dear.

It's not about "not liking" Koreans. I like plenty of Korean men just fine. But I'm not sexually attracted to them very often (ie. almost never). And 90% of my Western girl friends agree. Sorry. We like the more masculine variety of male: strong, confident, dirty. (the last one is my own personal touch lol)

Sorry. I only make this point because it's valid in this narrow conversation: when you compare how much Western dudes LUV Korean girls to how often Western women do the vice versa....well it's clear there are polar opposite attraction factors at play. A caveat: this doesn't apply to kyopos. I found many gyopos very attractive, because they had the very same swagger that weigs do. Yeah, that was fairly hot.

Here's another gem I'll throw out there (and this is strictly MY OWN OPINION)...Korean women (even if they never pursue or admit to anyone in their entire life) are more attracted to Western men than to Korean men as well. They just don't want to (can't? in some cases) marry them.

Before some twit comes in with "omg! I totally know tons of Western girls who love Korean men!" 1. please spare me 2. no you don't 3. this is my opinion so go ahead and share yours too. You're no more wrong / right than I, K?
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misher



Joined: 14 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Here's another gem I'll throw out there (and this is strictly MY OWN OPINION)...Korean women (even if they never pursue or admit to anyone in their entire life) are more attracted to Western men than to Korean men as well. They just don't want to (can't? in some cases) marry them.


Um I don't exactly agree with this. However Korean women in my experience tend to be ridiculously practical when marriage comes up. Attraction and chemistry kind of takes a back seat to job and earning potential. This is the same back home too but not to the same extent.

I would say yes, if a western guy has a pretty good job with earning potential and can speak some korean, he will be viewed as enticing for many Korean women (given he he isn't a dick). However social conventions kind of kill it for the majority. That's the way I see it anyhow.
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dairyairy



Joined: 17 May 2012
Location: South Korea

PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Janny wrote:
Of course it's more difficult for Western women. The reason is simple.

Western men want Korean women.
Western women DON'T want Korean men.

In general.

If Korean men were more attractive to Western women, there'd be no issue. But no. Alternatively, Western men love Korean gals.

IN GENERAL. Don't get pissed.

So you've got a nation of expat men who are in HIGH demand. The Western ladies, it's a tougher deal.

It really has made me step up my game, competing with these beautiful Korean chicks. (I'm a Western female) On a related note, my social life improved immensely when I dropped a bunch of weight. That is obviously a big (LOL) factor here, isn't it?

You Western dudes in Asia...you got it gooood.


Western men chasing local tail is the oldest story in the book. What people don't know is how many expat women come to Korea and go crazier over dating and the whole scene. Western women who cut out the "Woe is me" act and leave their apartments find plenty of men, or women, interested in them. It is so much easier for expat women in Korea and you don't seem to know or want to say just how good.

Many of the posters here are veterans to the bar scene. Put any western woman in the middle of any bar , wearing anything, even t-shirts and sweatshirts, and acting any way they choose, even like an obnoxious pig and men flock around them anyway. Seen it happen many times. Is it because of their novelty? Probably, but with any effort at all expat women can get anything they choose, and that includes casual sex or relationships leading to marriage. That also includes older women, too. It just won't happen by sitting in your apartment on Saturday nights.
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NYC_Gal 2.0



Joined: 10 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dairyairy is right.

Don't be a cow (10-15 pounds overweight? Eh, it's fine. Even I could stand to lose 4kg. 20+ pounds? Put the fork down).

Put some effort into your appearance. You don't have to wear heels and micro skirts, but don't go out in gym clothes unless you're going to the gym, walking your dog, or going to the corner mart. Then, by all means, don the leopard ajumma pants and Smurfs t-shirt.

Buy a good moisturizer and use it. I go for a skincare appointment every week; facials are ridiculously cheap here, so it's a good idea to take advantage of that.

Don't be a whiny, negative b!tch. I know some single expat women in their 50s and they're some of the most miserable women I've ever met. I don't like when I'm in situations when I have to be around them, so why would men be interested?


Last edited by NYC_Gal 2.0 on Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:11 pm; edited 2 times in total
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edwardcatflap



Joined: 22 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Western men chasing local tail is the oldest story in the book. What people don't know is how many expat women come to Korea and go crazier over dating and the whole scene. Western women who cut out the "Woe is me" act and leave their apartments find plenty of men, or women, interested in them. It is so much easier for expat women in Korea and you don't seem to know or want to say just how good.

Many of the posters here are veterans to the bar scene. Put any western woman in the middle of any bar , wearing anything, even t-shirts and sweatshirts, and acting any way they choose, even like an obnoxious pig and men flock around them anyway. Seen it happen many times. Is it because of their novelty? Probably, but with any effort at all expat women can get anything they choose, and that includes casual sex or relationships leading to marriage. That also includes older women, too. It just won't happen by sitting in your apartment on Saturday nights.


Most of the single Western women I know fall somewhere between the 'woe is me' and the wanting to be picked up by strangers in bars attitude. They're usually bemoaning the fatct that they get hit on by weirdos when they don't appreciate it and can't meet normal guys in a nice civilised way.
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fermentation



Joined: 22 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

edwardcatflap wrote:

Most of the single Western women I know fall somewhere between the 'woe is me' and the wanting to be picked up by strangers in bars attitude. They're usually bemoaning the fatct that they get hit on by weirdos when they don't appreciate it and can't meet normal guys in a nice civilised way.


I think that's a universal female complaint. I also think whatever that applies to Western women in Korea apply to pretty much everybody anywhere. Make an effort to meet people and have a good attitude and you will attract somebody.

I've seen normal looking white guys get no action because they are negative whiny bitches with no confidence. I'm seen ugly chicks get normal looking dudes. Regardless of race, looks, or money, I think it all comes down to how good your "game" is which is basically confidence and what kind of attitude you convey.
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Harpeau



Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Coquitlam, BC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that one of the main issues is the transience of life in Korea. Many relationships have some kind of an expiry sticker to them when one of them leaves to go back to their country. That makes it frustrating in that which country might they go to? The one, or the other. (It may be gay/lesbian as well - I don't want to limit it here.)

There are many bright Western women that are very powerful and totally cool. It might be that some of the men have difficulty with a women of power. Men can feel somewhat intimidated by that power, if they don't have a sense of their own power.

One of the biggest difficulties is how Korea and the media has a way of idealizing women with the Greco-Roman view of beauty- pushing plastic surgery and a shallow view of outer beauty. How porn and prostitution are in every sector of society. It's really sad!

With Inter-cultural relationships, it's very difficult because westerners communicate the meaning of the words (verbal); where Asians tend to look more at the context around how the words are used (non-verbal cues). That can make it very difficult for an honest dialogue.

As a man, I think women need to be treated with more respect. Anyway, that's my opinion.
www.harpo.ca
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nate1983



Joined: 30 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

fermentation wrote:

I think that's a universal female complaint. I also think whatever that applies to Western women in Korea apply to pretty much everybody anywhere. Make an effort to meet people and have a good attitude and you will attract somebody.

I've seen normal looking white guys get no action because they are negative whiny bitches with no confidence. I'm seen ugly chicks get normal looking dudes. Regardless of race, looks, or money, I think it all comes down to how good your "game" is which is basically confidence and what kind of attitude you convey.


This works going both ways, but in particular there's a reason that women tend to be hit on more often by guys they would consider "less than desirable". A more desirable guy is not going to go desperately hitting on every girl he comes across at the bar...some guys' only real chance is the "numbers game," so you're getting a skewed sample of the overall male population by waiting for guys to approach you. My suggestion would be to put in some effort yourself - likewise, it's generally the not-so-desirable girls who approach guys (or just the confident ones), so if you are indeed a catch expect a guy to react favorably.
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Janny



Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Location: all over the place

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The OP was: Is it harder for expat women [to date] in Korea?

I think we are now talking about HOW to have a successful social / dating life in Korea as a Western lady. And I agree with most of the above points. You need to make an effort.

However, I was comparing the odds between Western men and women, on the issue of successfully finding a partner in Korea.
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nate1983



Joined: 30 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Janny wrote:
The OP was: Is it harder for expat women [to date] in Korea?

I think we are now talking about HOW to have a successful social / dating life in Korea as a Western lady. And I agree with most of the above points. You need to make an effort.

However, I was comparing the odds between Western men and women, on the issue of successfully finding a partner in Korea.


If you're a western guy who's open to dating Korean women, it's probably harder than if you're a western girl who's open to dating Korean men.

If you're a western guy who's not open to dating Korean women, it's probably harder than if you're a western girl who's not open to dating Korean men.

If you're a western girl who's not open to dating Korean men, you have no business making comparisons to western guys who are open to dating Korean women.
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NYC_Gal 2.0



Joined: 10 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Janny wrote:
The OP was: Is it harder for expat women [to date] in Korea?

I think we are now talking about HOW to have a successful social / dating life in Korea as a Western lady. And I agree with most of the above points. You need to make an effort.

However, I was comparing the odds between Western men and women, on the issue of successfully finding a partner in Korea.


My post essentially said that it isn't harder as long as you make an effort.
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Jodami



Joined: 08 Feb 2013

PostPosted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Janny wrote:
I know you do ma dear.

It's not about "not liking" Koreans. I like plenty of Korean men just fine. But I'm not sexually attracted to them very often (ie. almost never). And 90% of my Western girl friends agree. Sorry. We like the more masculine variety of male: strong, confident, dirty. (the last one is my own personal touch lol)

Sorry. I only make this point because it's valid in this narrow conversation: when you compare how much Western dudes LUV Korean girls to how often Western women do the vice versa....well it's clear there are polar opposite attraction factors at play. A caveat: this doesn't apply to kyopos. I found many gyopos very attractive, because they had the very same swagger that weigs do. Yeah, that was fairly hot.

Here's another gem I'll throw out there (and this is strictly MY OWN OPINION)...Korean women (even if they never pursue or admit to anyone in their entire life) are more attracted to Western men than to Korean men as well. They just don't want to (can't? in some cases) marry them.

Before some twit comes in with "omg! I totally know tons of Western girls who love Korean men!" 1. please spare me 2. no you don't 3. this is my opinion so go ahead and share yours too. You're no more wrong / right than I, K?


Good post.

I had fun with loads of Korean girls in my time there. I'd never ever marry one though.

A friend once said, Korean girls love you after a day, practically move in after a week and want to get married after a month.

Pretty accurate description! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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Old Painless



Joined: 01 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jodami wrote:


I had fun with loads of Korean girls in my time there. I'd never ever marry one though.

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy




Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun
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The Cosmic Hum



Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space

PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Painless wrote:
Jodami wrote:


I had fun with loads of Korean girls in my time there. I'd never ever marry one though.

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy



Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun


Brilliant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcWVL4B-4pI

Cheers to that.
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