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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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 Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 4:07 pm Post subject: |
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| kermo wrote: |
| kermo wrote: |
| I assume that when I'm older, people will look at me in a less sexual way. I find it hard to imagine what it would be like to interact with people without that vibe going on. Qualities like kindness, intelligence, and humour aren't physically apparent, so I wonder what it will be like without having the immediate appeal of being young(ish) and female. Scares me, actually. |
Oh no! It's happening already! People are ignoring me because I'm getting old! |
Asa! Kermo, don't be so needy! I answered your post long ago. Hopefully, as you get older you won't need so much attention- then you will get it for your confidence and style.  |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| desultude wrote: |
| kermo wrote: |
| I assume that when I'm older, people will look at me in a less sexual way. I find it hard to imagine what it would be like to interact with people without that vibe going on. Qualities like kindness, intelligence, and humour aren't physically apparent, so I wonder what it will be like without having the immediate appeal of being young(ish) and female. Scares me, actually. |
Yes, well you have hit upon an issue. The bad news is that at some point you become rather invisible to the sexual gaze. The good news is that you will be seen a lot more as a real person, as opposed to being an object of sexual desire.
By the way, you may have to pay attention to get turned on by kindness, intellligence and humor, but those things are sexy, and you will pay attention because you won't be so distracted by the superficial. |
Whoops. Sorry Des- I'm not needy, just blind!
I have been reading this thread with interest. I've watched my mother grow old with grace I can barely hope to attain. I don't have much hope that my features will stay as delicate as hers, or my figure as lithe, but she has set a beautiful example that I can follow: she continues to grow and learn and mature as each year goes by. She grows more capable and interesting all the time, and is not afraid to try new things. She doesn't ever have to call attention to herself because her elegance and wisdom put her head and shoulders above the crowd.
As you might have noticed on other threads like Muscle or Personality, I don't usually go for the hunk. Only a handful of the men in my past have been really outstanding in the way of looks, but I chose them for other reasons. (ex-boyfriends: if you're reading this, please assume you're one of the hot ones.)
Last edited by kermo on Wed Jun 21, 2006 6:47 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I was just teasing.
Your mom sounds cool- a good role model! |
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peony
Joined: 30 Mar 2005
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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| hope this isnt too personal a question but when is a woman's sexual peak really? have you noticed any particular decade when you were more sexual than others? i've heard it said that for a woman it will be in her 30's but have yet to believe it (im in my 30's, well, im 30) |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:21 pm Post subject: |
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| peony wrote: |
| hope this isnt too personal a question but when is a woman's sexual peak really? have you noticed any particular decade when you were more sexual than others? i've heard it said that for a woman it will be in her 30's but have yet to believe it (im in my 30's, well, im 30) |
Well, its not nice to ask without revealing:) How is your peak? Have you hit it? Or are you still building up to it? |
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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:15 am Post subject: |
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| peony wrote: |
| hope this isnt too personal a question but when is a woman's sexual peak really? have you noticed any particular decade when you were more sexual than others? i've heard it said that for a woman it will be in her 30's but have yet to believe it (im in my 30's, well, im 30) |
I can't speak for everyone, but mine was probably in my 40's. It's hard to know for sure, though, as Korea is not exactly the best place to test drive the 50's. 
I'm hoping there is more than one- peak that is! |
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huffdaddy
Joined: 25 Nov 2005
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:57 am Post subject: |
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| jinju wrote: |
| peony wrote: |
| hope this isnt too personal a question but when is a woman's sexual peak really? have you noticed any particular decade when you were more sexual than others? i've heard it said that for a woman it will be in her 30's but have yet to believe it (im in my 30's, well, im 30) |
Well, its not nice to ask without revealing:) How is your peak? Have you hit it? Or are you still building up to it? |
That's the trouble with the peak. You don't know you're there until you are far enough away to recognize it as a peak. But the time that you realize every day is just a little bit worse than the previous day, it's too late. It is, as they say, all downhill from there. |
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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 3:24 am Post subject: |
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| huffdaddy wrote: |
| jinju wrote: |
| peony wrote: |
| hope this isnt too personal a question but when is a woman's sexual peak really? have you noticed any particular decade when you were more sexual than others? i've heard it said that for a woman it will be in her 30's but have yet to believe it (im in my 30's, well, im 30) |
Well, its not nice to ask without revealing:) How is your peak? Have you hit it? Or are you still building up to it? |
That's the trouble with the peak. You don't know you're there until you are far enough away to recognize it as a peak. But the time that you realize every day is just a little bit worse than the previous day, it's too late. It is, as they say, all downhill from there. |
Ouch!
Life is full of peaks and valleys- not just one.
I hope that isn't experience talking. |
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huffdaddy
Joined: 25 Nov 2005
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 3:51 am Post subject: |
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| desultude wrote: |
| huffdaddy wrote: |
That's the trouble with the peak. You don't know you're there until you are far enough away to recognize it as a peak. But the time that you realize every day is just a little bit worse than the previous day, it's too late. It is, as they say, all downhill from there. |
Ouch!
Life is full of peaks and valleys- not just one.
I hope that isn't experience talking. |
It is. I peaked in the 5th grade. It's been one long, slow, but steady decline since then. Oh, how I yearn for 1980. |
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mole
Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Act III
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:59 am Post subject: |
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| desultude: wrote: |
Look at your family history... |
Good food for thought. Thanks for your time.
My mom's father, I hear, started smoking at age 9!And continued to a ripe old ninety-something.
My father died of lung cancer at 74, and he had quit smoking 20 years earlier!
Both were admirable drinkers.
Mom's healthy, and leads a good active lifestyle.
I should follow her, but the drinking and smoking are so cheap, almost ENCOURAGED here. |
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matthews_world
Joined: 15 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Sags are not attractive. If a woman keeps care of her body and tries to look half-way decent then, hey, might consider, Koreans included. I guess after menopause it all goes downhill? |
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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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| matthews_world wrote: |
| Sags are not attractive. If a woman keeps care of her body and tries to look half-way decent then, hey, might consider, Koreans included. I guess after menopause it all goes downhill? |
Au Contraire, my good man. All does not "go downhill" after menopause. It does matter greatly how you care for your self. It is harder to maintain the muscle after a certain age (for men and women), so it takes more physical activity to keep your fitness (firmness) level.
What is inevitable is lines and wrinkles. These vary for a variety of reasons such as sun exposure, skin type, etc., but they will come. After a while, you get used to it and stop noticing so much. Or you freak out and get plastic surgery (in theory an appealing option, but look at the faces of stars and celebrities who can afford the best surgeons, and you realize it is not a good fix).
Some of you guys seem to think that it matters to us if you would do a 50+ woman. As if most of us are interested in young men! It is different, as I said before, for most women- out tastes mature as we do. A lot of men have a Peter Pan complex, and never get over 20 year old women. |
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mole
Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Act III
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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| desultude wrote: |
| A lot of men have a Peter Pan complex, .. |
Maybe out of context, but my wife has said this to me numerous times lately. 
any elaboration?
I have the greasy eye syndrome and I like to flirt, but I'm not hitting on anyone. |
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desultude
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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| mole wrote: |
| desultude wrote: |
| A lot of men have a Peter Pan complex, .. |
Maybe out of context, but my wife has said this to me numerous times lately.
any elaboration?
I have the greasy eye syndrome and I like to flirt, but I'm not hitting on anyone. |
As they say, men will be boys. But looking is not a bad thing- women do it too!
Peter Pan syndrome is when men can't get past the "I don't want to grow up" stage. We have all seen them- irresponsible, drink too much, depend on their wives/mothers (for all intent and purposes, often pretty interchangeable) to do most everything for them. Why grow up and take on the responsibilities of adulthood when you can sit and get drunk and expect your wife/girlfriend/ajuma to fix you food and clean the house?
Lots of men step up and become responsible adults, but there is a lot in western culture, and way too much in Asian culture, that allows men to behave like boys forever.
I read somewhere recently that older men die pretty quickly after their spouses die as compared to women when their spouses die. The hypothesis was that the men had no one to take care of them and dote over them, and couldn't carry on without their wives. Men also remarry more quickly after a divorce or becoming widowed. I think it is a not so secret fact that women are really more independent than men, despite all of our display to the contrary. |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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| desultude wrote: |
| I read somewhere recently that older men die pretty quickly after their spouses die as compared to women when their spouses die. The hypothesis was that the men had no one to take care of them and dote over them, and couldn't carry on without their wives. Men also remarry more quickly after a divorce or becoming widowed. I think it is a not so secret fact that women are really more independent than men, despite all of our display to the contrary. |
A different theory to explain the fact that men die soon after their wives die, are more susceptible to depression and suicide after divorce, more likely to remarry, etcetera is that women tend to have more friends they can depend on for emotional support (as opposed to a man's drinking buddies to watch sports with).
This allows them to get over deaths and divorces easier than the average man, who, after such a tragedy, finds himself more isolated than the typical woman.
Or so the theory goes; all this being said, I'm no psychologist. |
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