Korean Job Discussion Forums

[chungbukdo]

Thanks for the story Patrick. Hm, well Mom invited me over for Chuseok and I was looking forward to going to a water park on Chuseok day because there will be no lines. Maybe I should go over instead of the water park... Even though I am really looking forward to swimming and dieted all summer to be lean for the beach.

This wouldn't be an experience with her father. He goes to see his family on Chuseok. The girls stay in the city and don't do any ancestor stuff. It would just be a meal. I'm actually in the way to see Mum at the hospital right now as well. I don't really want to burden her with cooking for me on Chuseok because of her surgery too, but dont want her to be alone either.

The situation is that everyone knows about the relationship except Dad. Even grandma knows now haha (Mom's Mom).

[IPayInCash]

[byrddogs]

[IPayInCash]

Lol... youre real shook.

I live inside the minds of people internationally now

[maitaidads]

How will you explain the time lost to your adopted refugee stepchild's baby monkey's trainer's feral cat's golf trainer's anal loving arby's manager's poop?

[byrddogs]

[chungbukdo]

The noise to signal ratio on this forum is horribly low. To those who helped, you know who you are. Thanks.

[Weigookin74]

[salutbonjour]

Once you are married he doesn't really have a choice. So it's all about getting there.

How old is the girl? As she nears 30 and crosses it anything with a pulse and a job will do... and that's how many around here describe NETs!

[wooden nickels]

[Janny]

[ATM SPIDERTAO]

honestly man, ask your girlfriend what SHE expects you to act like

she knows her parents the best.

due to the high power-distance index of Korea (see hofstede's intercultural dimensions)

you shouldn't act as if you're equals. you should definitely act like he's the father.

ask to pour him some alcohol and stuff like that

watch how the young men in your organization treat their elders and act accordingly.

however, your casualness will show your not confidence but more like comfort with him and his family. sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad

in western culture, whatever the host kinda does, you can do the same. like calling someone by their first name.

not so much the case here.

the worst situation is to sit there and look like you're very uncomfortable and have nothing in common with the father. already, you're a foreigner and they expect you two to have nothing in common. ask your girlfriend what kinda hobbies and interests he has and talk about them.

for the mom, compliment her looks and say how happy the two look together and that they must be very proud of their daughter's awesomeness.

always call them NIM too.

i'm sure you know what that means.

I guess i'm lucky in the sense that the few korean dad's i've met didn't think that strangely of foreigners and whatnot. they knew their little princess was trying to study English and I am chinese so while they think chinese are a lower class than whities, at least i don't look so different.

ahhh

anyway, go read up on hofstede's intercultural dimensions.

i'll give you the run down on the 4

1. power-distance --> unless your girlfriend specifically tells you so, you SHOULD act like the beta. remember, every korean man has gone to the military and they hold those military styled respect/pecking orders until they die. since you're also a man, you should act like a subordinate and he is your commanding officer

2. individuality / collectivism --> Korea is a collectivist culture. you need to acknowledge this and don't stand out in weird ways. if everyone is sitting on the floor cross legged, don't stretch out and look too casual. if the food sucks, don't complain about it cuz it makes you look like a picky eater which in a collectivist society, it is less acceptable. always say and act in a manner which will promote harmony

3. masculinity (think COMPETITION) --> Korea is less masucline than say the USA which is pretty masucline. what masculine means is the outward expression of competitiveness. in american job interviews, saying YOUR accomplishments and showing YOUR confidence is what sells yourself. here in Korea, try to be humble but outgoing and friendly. but remember to be humble. for example, if your girlfirend can't open a bottle, don't puff out your chest and say "LET ME CUZ I"M STRONG". but, for example if her bags are too heavy, say "Oh no, your bags look so heavy! please allow me to help you with it to distribute the work between the group"

something like that

4. finally, uncertainty avoidance. Koreans score very high here. this is shown by their love of planning and sticking to the plans. ever try to customize food here? it's difficult. people dont' wanna sell you something they don't know because you might dislike it. the best way to make people happy is to show them you have PLANS. "I don't know yet, I'm still young" is BAD. once you're out of marriage, you need CLEAR plans for until you start having kids. Where do you plan on being in the next 3 years? When do you plan on getting married? Where do you plan on living? What field will your profession be? if you plan on teaching english in Korea, you better be able to calm their fear of the drying up english teaching market etc.

now, cultural dimensions aside, you need to know about korea drinking customs and stuff like what kinds of stuff do you need to buy for the holidays.

really importantly tho, is going back to my first point. get to know the inside scoop on the old man from your gf. does he like strong men who show POWER? does he like nerdy dudes with good careers? does he want a man who will obey his daughter? or treat her like a woman and make her cook/clean?



just remember, the father is half the battle! gotta make the mom like you too!

hopefully, you're a good looking guy who can dress well.

if you're gonna do the glasses, don't do rimless, gotta do the nerdy hipster look lol

my credentials: i coach overseas corporations on how to work with Koreans in one of the big 3 chaebols. (not my only job, i'm on salary and sometimes i do this kind of training)

[chungbukdo]

[chungbukdo]

[chungbukdo]