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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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 Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:10 pm Post subject: Re: Korean prejudice against intermarriage |
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| Mix1 wrote: |
| Weigookin74 wrote: |
| Mix1 wrote: |
| Weigookin74 wrote: |
| Mix1 wrote: |
| Weigookin74 wrote: |
| Mix1 wrote: |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Mix1 wrote: |
[. Gotta love the irony though; invite a bunch of foreigners to work in the country and then get mad at them for dating the locals.
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It's a fairly safe bet that the people doing the inviting (Education Ministry) aren't the ones who get mad at us for dating locals. |
You sure about that?
I worked for them once and I've never seen a more conservative, insecure group of people in all my life. Even by Korean standards they were bad. They had cameras outside the teachers apartments and would keep all sorts of records. They knew who was bringing back girls, who had a steady girl, etc. and yes, it affected their attitude and rehiring behavior. Believe it or not. |
When was this and in what capacity was it?
As for the article itself, that was a long time ago. Even in 2008, some of this racism was there. But something has changed over the last 3 or so years. Seems many don't care anymore. I can even talk to women teachers at my schools nowadays without the c -blocking and dirty looks like I use to get and the hatred I use to feel when I first came here last decade. Not sure if it's just me. Maybe other folks have different views or recent experiences. |
This was about two years ago, and I guarantee little has changed there. It wasn't just the cameras they'd use for information, but they'd also use the gyopos in the office and pump them for personal info on everyone in the office. Only reason we found out was because one gyopo was quitting and told as all the details. There also was A LOT of made up rumors about the foreigners from random office workers who knew nothing. Management cared more about private lives than work performance, and that's been true of a few jobs I've been at here... as well as gyopos being used for inside info, etc.
They may not want to appear to be making a big stink about foreigners dating locals, but many still do not like it and it's still a rarity and not mainstream at all. I think in the modern world they are finally getting it that it's rude to stare and yell stuff, but as for how they truly feel, that's more up in the air. |
I found when I first got here, a lot of schools (only public) would c block galore and put lots of social pressure on the single attractive women to avoid me. I only found this out later. You could cut the tension at some of these schools with a knife.
Nowadays, schools often want to set me up or tell me when a woman is single. Koreans do tell me I'm handsome so that might make some difference. Whenever I say hello to a woman teacher many are always smiley and happy and talk to me. It's a completely different vibe from before. During the depths of the recession when foriegners were getting non renewed, I focused on debt and not inter office dating, I noticed that things had begun to change. Many Koreans are always wanting to set me up and not with the ungly unmarriagable type either which did happen long ago which I wasn't being c blocked.
Maybe everyone's experiences are different. But, I personally sense the country being much friendlier in 2013 and 2014 than back in say 2006 to 2009.
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Maybe. This place (government institution) was quite conservative though, and you could cut the tension in the place with a knife. It was run by a bunch of old schoolers and that may have helped set the tone. The cafeteria was particularly interesting; full on segregation and avoidance, dirty looks, whispering, etc. Not the best eating environment.
There were plenty of attractive women working there too, who would sometimes glance at you, but quickly look down. It was pretty clear they were not supposed to be talking to the foreigners and if they did, it would be a scandal.
Overall, the people there were extremely rude to the point where it was obvious some serious rumors were flying around about the foreigners. This sucked because we kept out of trouble, dressed well, were polite, and did our best not to make any problems, ...but the tone was already set. |
Was this a government office or a private company and has it been recently? If so, be a d!(k and go sit next to all of them and chat them up. Be smiley and outgoing. Make sure to wave "hi" everytime you see them. Piss the old ajossis off. I started doing that after a while. When I normally would have only chatted sporadically, it p!$$ed me off so bad, I started deliberately chatting to ladies in the workplace even if I normally wouldn't have been that interested. Keep burying yourself under the skin of those C blockers.
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It was government and fairly recently.
That's funny, we did try to integrate and be as friendly as possible, but to little effect. It was a very weird place. Think of high school clicks x100. Everyone had their table and that was that. And they were NOT friendly. It was fun to move our seats around occasionally just to watch the whole place play musical chairs around us.
It wasn't a total Kok-block: there was one secretary who was game to interact and didn't give a damn about public opinion, but she was the exception. There was also another assistant who was FIRED for being too friendly to the foreigners, and told us that exact reason afterwards. Another factor was that she was just smarter and more capable than any of her supervisors. Anyway, a devilish lot there. Good job, horrible environment. |
Everyone single one of you should have gone and scremed at the boss and told him to stop being racist. At elast it would have felt better. Also, check your legal options. No rules against racism, but that Indian professor found a way to sue a few years back. Also, go and sit next to every different girl every day. Be a total d!(k.
Anyways, it's surprising to ehar. Kind of reminds me of the way things use to be when I first got here. But, teachers were permanent and couldn't be fired or anything. They'd just face intense social pressure. Koreans pressure each other all the time to confrom to the group. It's relentless and constant. We just aren't aware of it.
Had a friend show up 10 years ago with his Korean wife he had married in California to a small Korean town. What he said were that the Korean folks were all nice to him and the local gun (county) hall had presentations welcoming him to the town. Some folks even told him he was so handsome he should run for mayor (even though he was a white American). But, what he didn't know was that people were giving his wife a hard time. She was called a race traitor, a hooker, accused of betraying Korea, asked how she could bring a foriegner into her town, etc.
Years later, they got divorced. He eventually married another Korean woman and he told me even with her that there was all kinds of social pressure. Not with the intense racism as before, but just constant pressure to conform to the group. In our culture if someone is badgering us to do this or do that, we'd mostly just tell them to eff off and quit annoying us. But, folks are brought up to conform to the group, do as your ajossi says, and to ignore those outside of your group. (The last one explains the bouts of selfish behaviour at times.)
The point is we are shielded from it as foriegners, though some Koreans think we are selfish. We just respect people's personal space and individualism. We also don't park our car in a way that takes up two spaces, drive in a way that occupies two lanes, walk in the middle of a sidewalk and block folks from passing us, etc. I work with a great group of people. But, if I meet others who aren't part of my group, I don't exist to them. It's a kind of eff you attitude to others outside of their circle. While we are not too interested in those we don't know, we do still have rules of basic ettiquite. Of course not everyone here is that way.
Point is the whole group dynamic and social pressure to conform is a powerful thing here in a way we often underestimate. We often can't fully imagine. |
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