|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
|
 Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:56 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| I'm not saying I've never been there... but I will say that I think ---in retrospect--- that I wish I hadn't ever had first date sex... not even with my husband (well, first date significant action...we didn't have sex for another week). I think for us, and many of the English speaker/non-native Speaker couples here one reason for first date sex is when you run out of conversation... when I met my husband we had about five words in common. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
astroboyfan
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Cedar wrote: |
| I'm not saying I've never been there... but I will say that I think ---in retrospect--- that I wish I hadn't ever had first date sex... not even with my husband (well, first date significant action...we didn't have sex for another week). I think for us, and many of the English speaker/non-native Speaker couples here one reason for first date sex is when you run out of conversation... when I met my husband we had about five words in common. |
Wow, had lots to build that relationship on than didnt you  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| astroboyfan wrote: |
Wow, had lots to build that relationship on than didnt you |
Well... love is love. People can say "love at first sight" doesn't exist, but I know they are wrong. Nearly five years later (and having become conversationally fluent in another language (to match his second) and starting to learn his first language... we're doing fine. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
squat toilet
Joined: 08 Mar 2005
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| cedar wrote: |
| not even with my husband (well, first date significant action...we didn't have sex for another week)... when I met my husband we had about five words in common. |
I've asked about this before, but i've still yet to receive a concrete answer. All my life i've been told that women value communication over anything else. Without communication there is no basis for a relationship, no trust, blah blah blah..
You met a guy who you couldn't even say 5 words to, yet you still banged him within a week and then later married. I wanna know...is all that stuff that men are told just lip service? Is all that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" a load of crap?
Oh and don't start in with that "it was just love at first sight" nonsense. I've met some staggeringly hot women during my time here who made my knees weak just looking at them. After approaching them and hearing "I like-ee ham-buh-guh and you?" that initial connection you felt has a way of just flying straight out the window. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
mithridates
Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: President's office, Korean Space Agency
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Sorry, but you're dead wrong. It can be extremely attractive to not speak each other's language. Back when I was learning Korean I hung out with a girl I met at Starbucks and I thought that perhaps it was going to be awkward because we had nothing planned, but we spent the next four hours or so in a coffee shop talking, and when words failed we drew pictures next to us on an artist's sketchbook. Filled up some four or five pages that day and started dating soon after that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
squat toilet
Joined: 08 Mar 2005
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:34 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| Sorry, but you're dead wrong. |
How exactly am i dead wrong? Are you telling me that you've never heard of women valuing communication above all else? Come on.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 4:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
A guy that answers a question adressed to women can't be expected to get the nuances of communication.
For me, yeah, it's pretty damned important, but I can't speak for all women here. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| squat toilet wrote: |
| cedar wrote: |
| not even with my husband (well, first date significant action...we didn't have sex for another week)... when I met my husband we had about five words in common. |
I've asked about this before, but i've still yet to receive a concrete answer. All my life i've been told that women value communication over anything else. Without communication there is no basis for a relationship, no trust, blah blah blah..
You met a guy who you couldn't even say 5 words to, yet you still banged him within a week and then later married. I wanna know...is all that stuff that men are told just lip service? Is all that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" a load of crap? |
Its a load of crap! You are right!
Thats a big myth!! ALL women know within the first few minutes of meeting a guy what category he goes into.. and they are very physical-attraction oriented (despite the myths otherwise!)
You have to fit their image above all.. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Daechidong Waygookin
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Location: No Longer on Dave's. Ive quit.
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 8:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Tiger Beer wrote: |
| squat toilet wrote: |
| cedar wrote: |
| not even with my husband (well, first date significant action...we didn't have sex for another week)... when I met my husband we had about five words in common. |
I've asked about this before, but i've still yet to receive a concrete answer. All my life i've been told that women value communication over anything else. Without communication there is no basis for a relationship, no trust, blah blah blah..
You met a guy who you couldn't even say 5 words to, yet you still banged him within a week and then later married. I wanna know...is all that stuff that men are told just lip service? Is all that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" a load of crap? |
Its a load of crap! You are right!
Thats a big myth!! ALL women know within the first few minutes of meeting a guy what category he goes into.. and they are very physical-attraction oriented (despite the myths otherwise!)
You have to fit their image above all.. |
Yep. Women are just as visual as men. But atleast we men have very few expectations. She has to be attractive and interesting, but beyond that, we dont care really. Women OTOH not only look at the physical part but they look for money, prestige, power, etc etc etc. Women are far more judgemental and shallow than men. Just look at the magazines aimed at women...talk about shallow, 90% of it is beauty and gossip crap. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Zyzyfer
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 8:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| squat toilet wrote: |
| After approaching them and hearing "I like-ee ham-buh-guh and you?" that initial connection you felt has a way of just flying straight out the window. |
Preach it, Brother squat. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 7:06 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Actually it's funny, cause we talk LOTS now, even though we are both speaking 2nd languages (and my Korean is much better than my Chinese!)... we both value communication. Sometimes I feel like he just wants to talk stuff to death... but, you know, this whole thing about "women value communication"????!!! I think PEOPLE value communication, but when you hook up with someone, and you think, this is just this insane PHYSICAL thing, you don't care about communication. But then (and this is why I say LOVE) the connection was strong enough after hanging out for two weeks that I traveled all the way to his hometown during my next vacation... so, despite lack of being able to speak, you can get a sense of who this person is, and whether they are good... I mean, kind and what not. I don't think you need to ask questions and hear answers to learn everything. Open your eyes and observe. And even though once I broke up with him cause it was TOO HARD to deal with the differences between us, I couldn't-- and instead, I started studying Chinese more and a couple months later when I could talk better, I called out of the blue and I think we've both known since then (that was March 2003) that we couldn't avoid the fact that with all the difficulties in the relationship, we had ALREADY committed our hearts. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
The Man known as The Man
Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 8:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Daechidong Waygookin wrote: |
Its so pathetic how so many of you live for empty, meaningless sex with people you couldn't care less about. Don't you have any self esteem? Does meaningless sex outside a real relationship fill your meaningless little lives and the enormous voids in your existance?
Aren't you people supposed to be adults? Don't you have any plans to grow up?
I can understand the guys, but the girls? Is this how you were raised? |
You seem to be quite the effeminate little whiner. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Billy Pilgrim
Joined: 08 Sep 2004
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:53 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Daechidong Waygookin wrote: |
Its so pathetic how so many of you live for empty, meaningless sex with people you couldn't care less about. Don't you have any self esteem? Does meaningless sex outside a real relationship fill your meaningless little lives and the enormous voids in your existance?
Aren't you people supposed to be adults? Don't you have any plans to grow up?
I can understand the guys, but the girls? Is this how you were raised? |
I'm always amused when people of the conservative bent rail about how sex without love is empty and meaningless.
Funny, I never here anyone complain about empty, meaningless racquetball.
Sex is intimate, yes, but it is also a basic human urge, a scratch to be itched on occasions. Maybe your scratch is smothered in pounds of the ointment named "marriage", and good for you - far be it for me to go around claiming that you were an evolutionary heathen who is eschewing the basic human pattern of reproduction in order to maintain some sort of moral superiority over people getting laid more often than him. Not my business. Good for you.
It's about time you grew up and accepted that sex, as with many pysical or mental activities that induce pleasure, is something that people are willing to actually enjoy outside your narrow conditions of use.
Stop being so judgemental. Go shag your wife. Feel good. Let the rest of us do the same. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 1:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Damn it been 5 months
Korea kills my sex life. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jaderedux
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 5:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
I'm always amused when people of the conservative bent rail about how sex without love is empty and meaningless.
Funny, I never here anyone complain about empty, meaningless racquetball.
Sex is intimate, yes, but it is also a basic human urge, a scratch to be itched on occasions. Maybe your scratch is smothered in pounds of the ointment named "marriage", and good for you - far be it for me to go around claiming that you were an evolutionary heathen who is eschewing the basic human pattern of reproduction in order to maintain some sort of moral superiority over people getting laid more often than him. Not my business. Good for you.
It's about time you grew up and accepted that sex, as with many pysical or mental activities that induce pleasure, is something that people are willing to actually enjoy outside your narrow conditions of use.
Stop being so judgemental |
.
Yes it is a basic human need. So is taking a crap, farting and burping, scratching one "nuts" or "hooch". However, I do not do any of those in public or whenever I feel the urge.
We are lucky animals us humans we have been granted reason and thought processes. That's why even though we have nothing that should allow us to survive (no claws, very little fur, and we ain't to fast). We do survive. Because we have reason. We don't have to bow to every basic instinct.
Now saying that we can have sex without automatically producing offspring. We get to have "recreational sex". I don't think anyone here says YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED. But to do something so intimate ......and it is...we are talking swapping some bodily fluids (metaphorically) with no more thought than you would put into taking a crap is beyond my comprehension.
IMHO....random sex is just whacking off with a partner. I guess I dont' think of my body as someone's toy and I don't treat it like one either.
Not all sex has to be sanctified by marriage but I truely find "recreational sex" abhorrent (sp?) and to be honest a bit sad. But that is just me. I was raised to have some respect for myself, my body and other people. I don't think of them as a racquet ball game or quick scratch to my random itch.
Jade |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
