Korean Job Discussion Forums

[khyber]

In 1986 Chuck Norris became a football team. He won the superbowl 112-11.
How did the Steelers manage to get those 11pts? Well, penalties cost Chuck Norris the shutout.
But Chuck Norris round house kicked the official scorer and wrote in "0".


Some idiot started trash talking Chuck Norris outside of Chuck E Cheese when Chuck was a goateed prepubescent.
"His Chuckness" used the man's *beep* and eyeballs to play skeet ball; his severed legs to play minigolf and roundhouse kicked his bloodied torso, swooshing it 80times (in 1minute!), in the basketball game.

[cwemory]

Chuck Norris has only ever given the 'thumbs-down' to one man. That man was Christopher Reeves.

Chuck Norris had 98 kills in Vietnam and he wasn't even there.

Chuck Norris can penetrate a female from up to a mile away, not psychokinetically, he just has a very large c0ck.

As a teen, Chuck Norris actually m@sturbated until he went blind. He then proceeded to m@sturbate until he could see again.

Chuck Norris shot Bon Jovi in the heart for giving love a bad name.

[TheFonz]

Chuck Norris once took part in a civil war re-enactment..... It was the bloodiest day in American History.

The great wall of china was actually built to keep Chuck Norris out..... They failed miserably.

Chuck Norris was going to be put on Mount Rushmore, but they couldn't find granite hard enough for his beard.

[hameltoe]

Chuck Norris invented cancer so he didn't have to kill so many people

[Chinaski]

Those Chuck facts are amazing.

Following them I feel like I'm personally insulting the mans beard by telling this anecdote. Now i've seen this story floating around on the ol' internet a few times...I'm gonna go out on a limb and say its a true story. Lets just say as far as stories go, its got a lot more crediability than claims of Iraqs WMD, but is a little less believable than the Richard Gere, gerbal up his ass story.

Anyway, the gist is;
Chuck Norris once told the public he could beat Bruce Lee in a fight. Now once Lee got wind of this, he was naturally pissed. So he called Chuck at his Dojo while he was teaching some students, and he gave Chuck the ultimatum, a) he has to hold up the phone (so Bruce can listen) and announce to his class that Bruce can kick his ass, or b) Bruce will come and kick his ass.
Now the way the story goes Chuck was affraid to fight him, so he held up the phone, and basically told his class he's Bruce Lee's little biitch.

[alabamaman]

CIA has hired him to do black-op missions in Iraq. (200 hand to hand kills)

[vanland]

Common newbies, and those yet to read. Have a laugh. . . .

[cangel]

Chuck Norris would kick Bruce Lee's @ss... Bruce, the most over-rated "martial artist" ever!!

[Flash Ipanema]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato-sacks them.

[migooknom]

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

[RACETRAITOR]

Here are some Chuck Norris facts written by Chuck Norris.

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises."

I've got a bulletin for you, folks. I am no superman. I realize that now, but I didn't always. As six-time world karate champion and then a movie star, I put too much trust in who I was, what I could do and what I acquired. I forgot how much I needed others and especially God. Whether we are famous or not, we all need God. We also need other people.

If your whole life is spent trying to make money and you neglect the people important in your life, you will create an emptiness deep in your heart and soul. I know. I fell into that trap. I dedicated my whole life to fame and fortune. I had a huge hole in my heart and was miserable until I met my wife, Gena, who brought me back to the Lord.

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

By the way, without him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things � and so can you.

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases � sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567

[kimchi_pizza]

Here's a few of mine own...


Korea and Japan used to be one land, but Chuck Norris got tired of their bickering and seperated them.

Chuck Norris is a nation unto himself. He prefers to be called The Chuck Norris or Great Chuck Norris. He also likes The United States of Chuck.

He prints his own currency. On one side is printed his foot and the other, his fist with the phrase "In Chuck We Trust".

A Korean once saw Chuck take off his shirt and the Korean excitedly said, "Oooh, look! A monke........". The Koreans remains cannot be found and there are no records of him ever existing.

Chuck never raises his voice. NEVER. A roundhouse kick would be more compassionate.

[YoshaMazov]

Not exactly Chuck Norris but...

Jack Bauer didn't get addicted to heroin. Heroin got addicted to Jack Bauer.

[HapKi]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/en_nm/norris_lawsuit_dc

Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.

Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit.

The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.

It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."

"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

"Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.

The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.

[ultra]

When Chuck Norris endorses a presidential candidate, the candidate goes from obscurity to frontrunner.

Chuck Norris is a Powerful Man

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/80798/chuck-norris-is-a-powerful-man

The Norris Effect

http://media.www.westerncourier.com/media/storage/paper650/news/2007/12/03/Opinion/Norris.Loves.Huckabee-3126912.shtml