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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Xerxes
Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Location: Down a certain (rabbit) hole, apparently
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 Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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The above all sounds like, at a simple gloss, long division for the relationship challenged: welcome to the guy world, of the past millennia or so or for all time. This book will be outdated and seem eminently prudish in five more years, or even now.
This one hot girl (Cornell-grad smarts with a bod that Chachi would drool over, dropping Joni so fast) refrained from making the first move, but I was totally turned off from her flirting with other guys, it seemed always. She seemed such a *beep* to me (asking guys to feel her "muscle"--bicep, auctioning herself at a college raffle with an innuendo introduction of "50 foot-pounds of vertical applied pressure," and this one time asking me in the laundry room how to do the laundry for her "silk lingerie" for which I proceeded to teacher her the machine with unflinching methodical accuracy and left. She later slithered to a few of us guys in passing holding me in her gaze that they, her and the successful auctioneer, got a room at the Hyatt post auctioned date. Post!)
First of all, being a bit stupid in my day, I never noticed her being so was code for nudging me to ask her out. She ended up going out with a friend of mine. She kinda looked like a living version of Pocahontas, exotic and leggy, a Yellow-fever inducing K-girl! Talk about mixed and missed messages!
If I ended up going out with her and marrying her, I would probably have been tied up in bondage every night for my thanks, she was that feisty, that filly. It pays, girls, not to play games: you risk being misunderstood--massively so.
(Did I brag in this post! *blushes* Sorry, if you knew what I looked like in person, which you never shall, you would allow me this one failing). |
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jeffkim1972
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Location: Mokpo
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 8:16 am Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| chevro1et wrote: |
| False. Men like to be flattered as much as women do, and nothing works as well as having the lady make the first move. |
yeah right. The thrill of the chase is over as soon as the girl shows this much interest. You know it and I know it. |
The secret is showing interest without "showing interest" when you don't need to show interest, but there are times when you really need to show some interest to keep showing interest. That's how you sustain the thrill of the chase, you realize the interest and i realize it as well. But when you show interest when it's not required, that's when it's time to put a fork in it.
(i'm just interpreting what princess wrote for all of those that don't understand her. She has an eloquent and terse way of condensing the most complex and deep thoughts) |
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 10:39 am Post subject: |
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| False-heck I am pointing to my crotch right now, ladies |
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TheFonz
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Location: North Georgia
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 11:59 am Post subject: |
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| False. I also like it when a lady offers to pay. I won't let her if I like her, but if she doesn't offer I certainly will think twice about taking her out again. Plus its better for a males ego if he gets to refuse and say, "No I am paying". |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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| TheFonz wrote: |
| False. I also like it when a lady offers to pay. I won't let her if I like her, but if she doesn't offer I certainly will think twice about taking her out again. Plus its better for a males ego if he gets to refuse and say, "No I am paying". |
I have seen way too many ladies end up doing most of the paying. Well, they shouldn't have started paying in the first place, unless the couple in question did many things that day. If you are a woman, it's OK to pay for a movie, say, if he paid for dinner. If it's only dinner, he should pay. If a guy doesn't have that much money, I'd rather have him take me to Dunkin Donuts and do the paying, rather than take me to breakfast at the Hyatt and make me pay. It's a man's job to work for a girl, because she is the prize. It's OK to pick up the whole bill once in a while, say, maybe once for every few times he pays. If a man can't afford to take me to the nicest restaurants in town all the time, it's better for him to treat me at Dunkin Donuts and pay, rather than me pay all the time at expensive places. Ladies if you start this, even if he does have more money in the future, you will always get stcuk paying the bill, because you started doing it, and now, he's spoiled. Women make men lazy with calling, paying, etc. |
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Scarlet13
Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Changwon
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that the person who asked for the date should pay for it, or at least make the offer, and as far as relationships go, there should be a balance. I don't need to be taken care of...I'm not a pet...and I make my own money so I will gladly contribute an equal share. |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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Yep, I don't think of myself as an object to be won. I'm an adult. Who wants to be an object? What happens after the "winning" is accomplished?
I'm interested in being an equal partner, taking responsibility in initiating and sustaining the relationship. 'Equal' implies not doing more than my share of the chasing, taking cues from each other about gifts, affection, emotional honesty, not playing games or insisting on strict gender roles.
Of course, this probably means that somewhere down the line, my crazy feminazi ideas will result in my children eating teabags for nourishment... |
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pkang0202
Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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| crusher_of_heads wrote: |
| False-heck I am pointing to my crotch right now, ladies |
HAHAHAHHAHA!!! |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Dating Rule #1: Women should never make the first move, because ALL men prefer to be the hunter, not the quarry.
False, but since coming to Korea it usually comes down to me having to make the first move, the first date proposal, the first kiss, the first everything. It wasn't nearly as lopsided in the West or even Japan. Rather than a rule for Western women to follow, this reads more like a description of how things are in Korea. And of course much of the world.
Dating Rule #2: A man should ALWAYS pay for dinner on a date, no matter who proposes it.
Yep. Got no problem with that rule. |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Well,
There was this one girl at university that I thought was quite attractive--actually, most guys thought she was. I was too shy to ask her out, and she'd look at me in a strange way whenever she saw me. Turns out everyone, and I mean everyone, knew that she was crazy about me...and yet nobody told me. They thought I wasn't interested. So, yeah, sometimes it's far better if the girl makes the first move, especially if the guy is a nerd like me. |
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Scarlet13
Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Changwon
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| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| kermo wrote: |
Yep, I don't think of myself as an object to be won. I'm an adult. Who wants to be an object? What happens after the "winning" is accomplished?
I'm interested in being an equal partner, taking responsibility in initiating and sustaining the relationship. 'Equal' implies not doing more than my share of the chasing, taking cues from each other about gifts, affection, emotional honesty, not playing games or insisting on strict gender roles.
Of course, this probably means that somewhere down the line, my crazy feminazi ideas will result in my children eating teabags for nourishment... |
Hahaha....well so will mine apparently  |
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jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:02 am Post subject: |
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Is there even one (straight) guy in the world who would not enjoy an invitation (to whatever) from a woman he finds attractive? I doubt it. I think every guy I have ever met would like that. It's a great feeling to be asked out by someone that you'd be happy to spend time with. Hell, it's not so bad even if you are not interested, as long as you are nice in saying so.
For women: Even if you have no interest in the guy, don't you like being asked? |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:46 am Post subject: |
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| jajdude wrote: |
For women: Even if you have no interest in the guy, don't you like being asked? |
Kind of. It's nice to be admired, but I hate hate hate having to say no. |
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Carmy
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:59 am Post subject: |
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| kermo wrote: |
| jajdude wrote: |
For women: Even if you have no interest in the guy, don't you like being asked? |
Kind of. It's nice to be admired, but I hate hate hate having to say no. |
I have that same problem!! I feel terrible when I have to reject someone...I often just end up lying saying something like..."errm I'm not really wanting to get involved in a relationship at the moment" Absolute LIE!! But I'd rather let him down easy.
Oh and just to clear something up here about my original post...I wasn't looking for advice as to whether or not to make the first move (because I have done it before and it worked to my advantage) but rather I wanted to gage the responses of the males on this forum as to how they feel about women doing that. And the responses have been interesting to say the least! |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:15 am Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| TheFonz wrote: |
| False. I also like it when a lady offers to pay. I won't let her if I like her, but if she doesn't offer I certainly will think twice about taking her out again. Plus its better for a males ego if he gets to refuse and say, "No I am paying". |
I have seen way too many ladies end up doing most of the paying. Well, they shouldn't have started paying in the first place, unless the couple in question did many things that day. If you are a woman, it's OK to pay for a movie, say, if he paid for dinner. If it's only dinner, he should pay. If a guy doesn't have that much money, I'd rather have him take me to Dunkin Donuts and do the paying, rather than take me to breakfast at the Hyatt and make me pay. It's a man's job to work for a girl, because she is the prize. It's OK to pick up the whole bill once in a while, say, maybe once for every few times he pays. If a man can't afford to take me to the nicest restaurants in town all the time, it's better for him to treat me at Dunkin Donuts and pay, rather than me pay all the time at expensive places. Ladies if you start this, even if he does have more money in the future, you will always get stcuk paying the bill, because you started doing it, and now, he's spoiled. Women make men lazy with calling, paying, etc. |
That's a tricky situation. It depends on the woman. Generally, girls I was dating had no problem with me picking up the tab, but they made a point to treat me somewhere or insist they were going to pay the next thing. The girl is the prize? The guy is the prize, too? It would be pointless if she is a prize and he isn't I think you are thinking of the old-fashioned guy putting the girl on a pedestal, but that goes both ways in a way. Back in the old days, the woman didn't really work, so she couldn't splurge on her honey. There was probably no Valentine's Day for the man.
However, if a guy is having his girl paying the tab then he is a moocher.
I mean if he has a job. I wouldn't have such guys as friends if I know they are having their guy friends picking up tabs unless that friend was a millionaire or having his girl picking up the tab. You shouldn't do that to a friend of the same sex or a girlfriend of the opposite sex. If you do, then you're bad news in my book. |
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