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15 things no man wants to hear... from a woman
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lawyertood wrote:

4. You're a really nice guy, but.....



"-but I only get serious about guys who are really bad for me and treat me like Kr*p"." Laughing
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peppermint



Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's such a thing as a happy medium, you might want to look into it
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crusher_of_heads



Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Canadian Club wrote:
Maybe some of you *guys* should make a list of what you want to hear.


woman: "I'm bending over..."


woman: sure, I'm tired, but I'll get that sandwidch and beer for you..."
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Pyongshin Sangja



Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Location: I love baby!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about adding some information to help hapless males decode the real meanings of women's verbiage...

To Wit:

Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woman-speak: "Of course I don't mind if you..."
English: "You bet your fucking arse I DO mind. Go ahead, you WILL pay later..."

Woman-speak: "Do you like it?"
English: "Fucker, if you do NOT notice my new hairstyle/shoes/mail order catalogue/wall paper/trashy little knicknack/ you are fucking DEAD!

Woman-speak: "You are an asshole"
English: "I will be fucking your brains out in 5 minutes"

Woman-speak: "Do you remember when you got me this?"
English: "I KNOW you don't remember, you cunt, I'm just enjoying seeing you sweat..."

Woman-speak: I don't love you any more.
English: You are broke, out of work, AND I'm fucking somebody else now...

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
English: "I need to waste your time."

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
English: "I need to cut your balls off and tell you for the 1,000th time how you do not live up to my standards and nag you eternally and try to change you because I am a shrewish cunt. This will undoubtedly give me a stress headache - you won't be getting any *beep* tonight."

Women-speak: "I'm tired."
English: "I'm blaming you unfairly for my weight gain and my self-image problems, and you won't be getting any *beep* tonight."

Woman-speak: "Let's just meet for coffee."
English: "You won't be getting any *beep* tonight."

Woman-speak: "Oh, I don't care what we do."
English: "Even if you read my mind and figure out exactly what I want, the odds of you getting any *beep* tonight are 115:1."

Woman-speak: "You like that football sweatshirt because you went to school there, right?"
English: "I tell all my friends you dress like a fucking slob and I'll be engaging in my manipulative 'you need to wear what I say is good or you won't get any *beep* tonight' behavior soon."

Woman-speak: "Are you going to wear that shirt to the wedding?"
English: "I know these are the clothes I fell in love with you in, but now that I want to own you, they just won't do. Being the bossy cunt that I am, I need to re-do your entire wardrobe. I'll be too tired tonight from shopping to suck your dick for the next 15 years."

Woman-speak: "Do I look fat in this?"
English: " I need CREDIBLE reassurance that I am NOT a 350lb MacDonalds hog, with a sagging gut and dropping ass..."

Woman-speak: "I love you"
English: "You are quite a good *beep*, and are solvent. My *beep* is yours until something better comes along."
English (alternative): "I want something from you."

Woman-speak: "How thoughful of you!"
English: "*beep* whipped asshole, you are gonna have to do a LOT better than that to get some this year, let alone tonight. Suck up HARDER!"

Woman-speakS: Are you coming to bed now?
English: I'm going to tease you with sex to get you to drop whatever you're doing, come up stairs, and cuddle me, but you're still not getting any *beep*.

Woman-speak: "You are not the man I married"
English: "In spite of years of manipulation, ridicule and doing my best to mind *beep* you on a daily basis to change you into what I want, you have resisted me. *beep* you, no more sex, get out of my life..."

Woman-speak: "I do"
English: "No more blowjobs"

Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"
English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am fucked, the women's movement has destroyed my life"


That's PART 1...

PART 2 to follow a little later...maybe as an adjunct to the 'Western Women are The Devil" thread...
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man says, "I love you."

Woman thinks, "Sucker. Love doesn't exist. It was invented women to create more power over men. That's why we are smarter than you. Is that all you guys think about is love? Sucker."
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She gives you a lick and then says, "I changed my mind."
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crusher_of_heads



Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

woman: "I think you should consider getting tested..."


It worked for Pamela Anderson!
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You've been going out with her for quite a while and you've been hanging on 'cause the relationship looks pretty serious. She doesn't want to give it up easily. Finally, since you're both mature adults and she's on the pill, you're inside her and well into it when she shouts out, "I have AIDS!" and she starts bawling, "I'm sorry!"
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jaderedux



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: Lurking outside Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JongnoGuru wrote:
The all ominous-sounding, all serious-faced:

"I think you and I need to talk."

Hooo boy, now there's a sure-fire sign of fun times ahead. Shocked


ROFLMAO...have used this just to watch the deer in the headlights look. Sorry but it was fun. Personally, as a woman, when I want to really talk I have girl friends.

Given up on understanding men. Just know I like "em"! I frequently don't care much about what they yammering on about but I listen and they pretend to listen to me. It's only polite.

I never ask men "do I look fat in this?" cuz they are always honest. You look fine is actually a compliment. They really think the wash cloth trick is funny and apparently so are the 3 stooges. I start dressing early cuz ain't nothing more pitiful than a man flipping through the channels waiting. Not nice. If they say they like the red dress then it's the red dress. Don't over think it and wonder if they hate me in the blue one.

Sometimes I have great conversations with men. And now with my husband. But men are not so verbal and don't understand the thinking by talking. I have accepted it deal with it and don't push it. Being a feminist is great. I love men for the differences. They sometimes don't like "talk" and such but when they do you know they are sincere. (mostly)

I think the list was cute the above quoted was the best. Every want to get rid of man say "honey, we need to talk about where this relationship is going." It is like watching the road runner in the "toons".

Fun thread for a change.

Jade
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oldfatfarang



Joined: 19 May 2005
Location: On the road to somewhere.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pyongshin Sangja wrote:
How about adding some information to help hapless males decode the real meanings of women's verbiage...

To Wit:

Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woman-speak: "Of course I don't mind if you..."
English: "You bet your *beep* arse I DO mind. Go ahead, you WILL pay later..."

Woman-speak: "Do you like it?"
English: "*beep*, if you do NOT notice my new hairstyle/shoes/mail order catalogue/wall paper/trashy little knicknack/ you are *beep* DEAD!

Woman-speak: "You are an *beep*"
English: "I will be *beep* your brains out in 5 minutes"

Woman-speak: "Do you remember when you got me this?"
English: "I KNOW you don't remember, you *beep*, I'm just enjoying seeing you sweat..."

Woman-speak: I don't love you any more.
English: You are broke, out of work, AND I'm *beep* somebody else now...

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
English: "I need to waste your time."

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
English: "I need to cut your balls off and tell you for the 1,000th time how you do not live up to my standards and nag you eternally and try to change you because I am a shrewish *beep*. This will undoubtedly give me a stress headache - you won't be getting any *beep* tonight."

Women-speak: "I'm tired."
English: "I'm blaming you unfairly for my weight gain and my self-image problems, and you won't be getting any *beep* tonight."

Woman-speak: "Let's just meet for coffee."
English: "You won't be getting any *beep* tonight."

Woman-speak: "Oh, I don't care what we do."
English: "Even if you read my mind and figure out exactly what I want, the odds of you getting any *beep* tonight are 115:1."

Woman-speak: "You like that football sweatshirt because you went to school there, right?"
English: "I tell all my friends you dress like a *beep* slob and I'll be engaging in my manipulative 'you need to wear what I say is good or you won't get any *beep* tonight' behavior soon."

Woman-speak: "Are you going to wear that shirt to the wedding?"
English: "I know these are the clothes I fell in love with you in, but now that I want to own you, they just won't do. Being the bossy *beep* that I am, I need to re-do your entire wardrobe. I'll be too tired tonight from shopping to suck your *beep* for the next 15 years."

Woman-speak: "Do I look fat in this?"
English: " I need CREDIBLE reassurance that I am NOT a 350lb MacDonalds hog, with a sagging gut and dropping ass..."

Woman-speak: "I love you"
English: "You are quite a good *beep*, and are solvent. My *beep* is yours until something better comes along."
English (alternative): "I want something from you."

Woman-speak: "How thoughful of you!"
English: "*beep* whipped *beep*, you are gonna have to do a LOT better than that to get some this year, let alone tonight. Suck up HARDER!"

Woman-speakS: Are you coming to bed now?
English: I'm going to tease you with sex to get you to drop whatever you're doing, come up stairs, and cuddle me, but you're still not getting any *beep*.

Woman-speak: "You are not the man I married"
English: "In spite of years of manipulation, ridicule and doing my best to mind *beep* you on a daily basis to change you into what I want, you have resisted me. *beep* you, no more sex, get out of my life..."

Woman-speak: "I do"
English: "No more blowjobs"

Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"
English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am *beep*, the women's movement has destroyed my life"


That's PART 1...

PART 2 to follow a little later...maybe as an adjunct to the 'Western Women are The Devil" thread...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


My good man, have you, by chance, ever been married?
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Kimchi Cowboy



Joined: 17 Sep 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Well, just stick it in there and hope for the best."
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Jizzo T. Clown



Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Location: at my wit's end

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Women-speak: You're my best friend!

English: You're a wuss and there's no way I will ever find you attractive but I'll keep you around so you can continue to buy me stuff in hopes that I'll change my mind.
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ChimpumCallao



Joined: 17 May 2005
Location: your mom

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

pheeeel wrote:
JMO wrote:
Someones got to say it. The four most terrifying words for any man are

" Is it in yet"

And yes that has been said to me, even though I'm pretty much on average. Depressing stuff.

yea, but i've stuck it in and had to ask the same question , sometimes you just can't tell


no way- this seems to me a biological impossibility. How can you not TELL. I mean, it's like someone sticking a finger in your ear...YOU CAN TELL.
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ChimpumCallao wrote:
pheeeel wrote:
JMO wrote:
Someones got to say it. The four most terrifying words for any man are

" Is it in yet"

And yes that has been said to me, even though I'm pretty much on average. Depressing stuff.

yea, but i've stuck it in and had to ask the same question , sometimes you just can't tell


no way- this seems to me a biological impossibility. How can you not TELL. I mean, it's like someone sticking a finger in your ear...YOU CAN TELL.


Camel toe.
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